Hey all my name's Sam and for about the past 2-3 months now I've been what I can only describe as crippled by panic.
Ever since I was 9 I've suffered with 'retching', certain smells or situations would set me off dry heaving, and it'd continue till I got away from was was causing it, or I eventually threw up, I was diagnosed by my GP as having general anxiety and depression nigh on 4 years ago, for which i was on prozac and propanol for a couple of months for, but they made no difference, I gave up on them and just got on with life, avoiding certain situations because they made me retch.
3 months ago, I went to the doctors again and while I was in the waiting room, I had my first panic attack, hands shaking, retching my guts up, tunnel vision, pounding heart and feeling like I was genuinely going insane, I ended up throwing up twice and having to leave the doctors without seeing a GP, the same day I had the GP come out to my house, and he basically fobbed me off with more prozac and a half-beta progane.
I didn't think it'd get in the way, until I realised I couldn't go back to the doctors, for fear of having an attack, I couldn't go out into ANY situation without fearing an attack, and then eventually working myself into one, since then I've had another 3 attacks, one of them leaving me stuck in a carpark for 2 hours while I was trying to calm down.
Right now, I can just about go out for random drives here and there, and I can make it to one place on a regular occurrence, the take away (so I wont go hungry...ha) but the idea of say... just going into the super-market, or going into any shop really its like a brick wall I cant get past, I can just about fill the car with petrol and pay for it, provided the station isn't busy and people arn't putting me on edge.
Honestly, to say how bad its got, I'm a teenage boy and a girl invited her self round, and I had to decline because It filled with me with panic and dread, very different from my usual promiscuous self.. my whole life has stopped, I've had to drop out of college, my social life has pretty much gone poof and its really starting to get at me now.
So yeah, Hi everyone.. I'm Sam.
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Sam. You will find comfort and support here.
