not again .doing so well

[jaded jean]

been great till this morning. going out exercise started. interacting with people- generally doing as much as I physically could without pushung myself too far . its day 32 on cit. I wake up at 4,30 wich I have not done for 2 weeks? chatterbox back nd feeling sick and shakey. Is this the Blip back again.Help
Jean

[ginger1]

Hi Jean,

I know how you feel. I've been trying really hard and yesterday I felt almost back to normal. Then, during the night I had a really bad dream and I woke up about 4.30am and had a massive panic attack. I managed to get back to sleep eventually, but then got woken up again at 6am by my son who said he had a tummy ache. This morning I just can't get over the bad dream and resulting panic, I've been sick, I 'm sooo scared I can't stop shaking! I'm hoping this is a blip, I've been on 20mg cit for about 6 weeks. It sometimes feels like the medication has stopped working. Do you think the citalopram helps much or do you think it's mainly down to you and your way of thinking? I'm sure this is a short blip and we'll both get past it!

Debbie.

[jaded jean]

Totally agree with you there Debbie.
Phsyco Poet describes the blips very well. I think we have to expect this. Its a pain tho like you mentioned yes I am on the road to recovery all hunky dory then pow! have I actually taken any medication, thats how I feel anyway. do you think we try do too much too soon once we feel that bit better??
Jean

[ginger1]

I don't know whether it's better to keep on pushing myself to try and carry on as normal so eventually my brain will start to understand I can be normal again, or whether to try and take it easy and accept that I'm not totally well at the moment. The trouble is, if I try and sit down and relax it just makes me feel more anxious, so I keep doing stuff to keep my mind off it. I suppose that means I'm not totally accepting it....

[jaded jean]

they say time is a great healer but ths girlie here has no patience. I cant relax either. I keep refreshing this page to see if I have any more answers- that is so sad eh?
we have to focus, and retrain the brain, identify why these things happen and approach/deal with it in the best or a way we feel comfortable . you have that focus with your son.. Its a horrible place to be, are we asking too much?? No, we just need normality well what normality is for us,
we have the inner strength but BUT i CANT FIND MINE!!
Jean

[ginger1]

My brain is going to need a lot of re-training so I suppose it is going to take a long time!!! I'm feeling a bit better now than I was an hour ago, so that's a start!

[jaded jean]

You go girl. baby steps are better than no steps. does not matter how far along you are with the cit. I say to myself- when I feel better of course-' well it didnt flippin kill you did it?? ' you are still here so heres to tomorrow. I change for the better when husband comes home from work. I have been off sick for 6 mnths.long time to worry about everythingjean