Scared of Sex

[sketchyboots]

I have recently been getting really anxious about having sex with my boyfriend. Last time we had sex I felt like crying and I really didn't want go do it. He has a very high sex drive and so do I. The problem is I prefer to just self-pleasure when he is not around. I really don't enjoy sex at all at the moment. He's always pestering me when I'm tired and trying to get me to dress up in stockings etc when all I want to do is put on my pyjamas and sleep or watch TV. He thinks I am selfish because I use sex toys when he's not around. I'm dreading him coming home tonight and wanting sex, I feel really trapped. HELP!!

[pink daisy]

aww dont feel trapped hun. this happens to a few people hun.
Can I ask if you are on medication for anxiety or depression? somtimes meds can do this!! The more your boyfreind keeps on to you about this the more u wont want to..
Do you know y u feel this way about your boyfreind?

Just tell him how you feel hun and say its probualy to do with your anxiety.


Kate x

[sb001f8994]

Hi,
I think my hubby would love me to be like you! Im the one whose rampant and my hubby would just like some peace. I dont wish to sound flippant but thought you might like to see the flip side. My hubby works really hard and we do have a lot of financial worries right now, he is also on medication that has interfered with his sex drive and he often makes me feel selfish for wanting to be intimate. I am left feeling insecure and unloved and the more my hubby pushes me away the more I seem to need the reasurance, for me sex means love because thats the only way my hubby has ever shown me any affection. I was thinking maybe your boyfriend might be feeling a little insecure because he thinks you not wanting sex is rejection? Pink-daisy could be right in asking about any medication you are on as this can really interfere with your desires.
Hope things work out for you and your boyfriend.
Take care,

[sketchyboots]

Hi all - yes, what you've said all makes sense. Thanks, it's not too bad, I've explained to him tonight I'm tired and he's backed off a bit. Think he does get insecure about our relationship and uses sex as a means of expressing things. I'm on Prozac and also Diazepam which I took too much of yesterday so probably explains why I am feeling a bit down today. He has however just asked me if we want to go to Asda and buy me a pair of sexy boots!!! Maybe he thinks a pair of new boots will put me in the mood?? ha ha!

[Granny Primark]

Id rather have a cuddle and a cheese butty

[qualia]

This happened with one of my male friends... He went from having a shockingly high sex drive (was considered a bit of a "lad") to not bein able to be naked around another person. Luckily he wasn't in a relationship... but I think your bf should try to understand you're not in the right mental place to enjoy sex. I mean sex isn't THAT important is it? It's only for a little while. You won't feel like this forever. And maybe you can satisfy him in other ways?

[Vixxy]

Ive felt the same as you. The more he pesters you the less likely you'll want to do it as youll feel badgered into doing it. Sex should be something both people want to do, not one.
Maybe you can write him a letter explaining how youre feeling and why you've gone off it. Then come to an arrangment with him on how you can start to reintroduce it with no pressure.