when will it all stop

[charliesanangel]

Ive not posted on here for a long time but i just feel there is nowhere else to turn.

I just feel that my entire like is full of bad luck and this last year has to be the hardest of my life.

In jan last year me and my husband was having a really bad time we just couldnt be near each other without arguing then he lost his job through illness.

after 4 months of being at home and getting in to debt i finally thought it was over cos he was due to start a new job and we were getting on alot better my cat got really ill a couple of you who have spoke to me know that my cat was my baby being told i would never be able to have children of my own.

After being to 3 vets with him i was told that he was dying and he had to go for treatment straight away which is ok but we was in the middle of changing pet insurance so we was not covered 2 days later i was able to bring him home it seems he was fully recovered and nothing wrong at all and the vet bills were at £600 the next month he was in and out getting more and more sick and the bills were £1000+ then i was told there was nothing more they could do but make him more comfortable they told me his kidneys had failed and his body was slowly failing so i had to make the hardest choice of my life and let him go i stayed with him and he died in my arms i was devastated and i felt so empty and hollow.

After a few of months i was getting over losing him my husbands job was going well and we were getting on fantastic getting on better than we ever had i was started to think everything was gonna be ok but i started to feel really ill i was getting headaches and being sick after a couple of days i started with really bad tummy pains i ended up being taken to hospital which was my worst nightmare with being agoraphobic.

After 2 days of tests and being poked and seen by god knows how many doctors they found out i was pregnant but they were keeping me in cos of the pain and sickness 2 days later after more tests they discovered a problem all was not as it should be and they told me the pregnancy was not normal so more tests!! but i just got sicker and sicker i was at the stage were i could not even lift my head of the pillow so after 6 days of tests the decision was made to end the pregnancy 2 days later they let me go home still really sick but i had to get out of there all that time to think and stew on things was doing me no good i had to agree to go back every 2 days for blood tests after another month they finally discharged me.

a couple of months after my nan died and at this moment in time im recovering from an operation after having 2 huge cysts removed from my ovarie.

I feel scared to be happy incase something else happens, im sorry to ofload the way i did but i felt like i had know where else to turn.

[jojothepixie2006]

im so sorry to hear all this sounds like youve had a horrible time of it. i can symphazize with you as i often feel life isnt fair to me and things happen no where near as bad as you have been through but i can kidda of understand what your feeling right now if u ever wanna talk just ask . take care of urself x

[Sus]

Oh Charliesangel,

What a terrble time last year. I really hope things are better for you this year. You've had your run of trauma and stress so I hope some fun and happiness is heading your way now. Sus, xx

Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.
Ralph Blum

[nomorepanic]

Oh wow what a lot to go through - so sorry to hear all of this.

I hope things can start to improve for you now.

Nicola

[jackie]

you brave woman, things cannot go on like that for ever, i feel like you have been through enough now and that things must get better.

you are very strong to share this, i hope your husband is of comfort to you although id say it is hard for him to really imagine what you have went through, even though he has lost too

at least you have eachother, i hope it all gets better, id love to here you get better news soon. either way share it with us if you feel it helps.

thinking of you tonite
jackie

[heavymind]

Sorry to hear this, but believe me life does improve, it certainly will. I want to share a mistake that I did, when I was faced with repeated bad occurances in life. The mistake was to have an expectation that the next bad occurance was waiting and I was starting to predict failures, and this process seemed to help me in the short term, since when I predicted something was going to go wrong, the fact that I had predicted made me handle it better. But the problem with that in the longer run was I was becoming quite pessimistic and what I was not any more prediction, but expecting and what ever I expected also seemed to happen and it went in a complicated chain... So live the moment by joking and laughing atleast artificially with friends and do not predict outcomes in a negetive way at all. Thing positive, which might be harder, but atlest I am these days not thinking negative.

HTH.

Ram