My first CBT session

[leanne78]

Had my first CBT session today. I knoew it was going to be hard but not as hard as I found it,

I felt so anxious all the way through and couldn't sit still, had feelings raked back up that I had put to bed and don't really want to bring back up.

Not sure I can do this, I just felt completely out of my comfort zone.

I do have the support of a wonderful friend who lets me sit and ramble on about stuff.

just not sure how I feel about the CBT, I know I have to do it.

[onceagain]

Hi Leanne

I really understand what you are saying, I too went for my first therapy session about a month ago... I absolutely hated it, firstly I have a male therapist and alot of my issues stem from MALES so that was a massive hurdle and one unfortunately that I could not get over I could not open up and felt completely trapped.

Like you I felt that I didn't want to bring all the stuff up that I've buried under the carpet and I cannot understand why it is necessary for us to live the traumatic times over and over when what we are asking for is to move on and deal with the here and now.

I felt like the therapist was trying to drag it all out in one session and therefore told him that I was not ready to discuss things yet and he knew immediately it was a trust thing with me... and it is, I find it incredibly hard to trust and I find it incredibly difficult to discuss openly what hurts and upsets me...

I failed to attend my next appointment but I have decided to go again next week, if I still feel the same I will speak to my case worker and try to see if it is possible for me to see a female therapist someone that I feel comfortable talking to as at the moment I cannot see myself opening up when I feel so vulnerable.. I would really say the same to you..it is going to be hard but the first session is never going to feel comfortable, sadly the counsellor that I had before the therapy was marvellous it was almost as if she was inside my head and heart and finished my sentences almost perfectly.. if only the NHS would let us tell them what we need and want, but sadly that will never be the case, I would advise anyone to stick with the counselling or therapy especially now with all the cut backs I should imagine that it will be mental health support that takes a lot of disruption thats usually the way.. good luck x

[davey]

I managed to get my cbt through a charity as opposed to the nhs-the waiting time was shorter and I got a choice on who I would prefer to speak to. With regards it being hard I have only had a few sesions and was ready to quit as I felt I couldnt cope with everything resurfacing how my therapist explained to me that things have to get a little harder before they can get better and with hard work and determination this is something we can stop destroying our lives.
Good luck

[iwillgetbetter]

Hi, I'm interested in trying CBT but my doctor said there's not even a waiting list to go onto in my area (East Kent). I noticed you said you got yours through a charity Davey, is that a local one to you or a national charity?

[thetube82]

iwillgetbetter,

if this is still valid you may want to refer your GP to this website,

www.easternandcoastalkent.nhs.uk/.../improving-access-to-psychological-therapies-iapt-information-for-gps/

[iwillgetbetter]

Thanks for that info, I have emailed my local psychological therapy centre-would never have known it existed-my doctor keeps giving me details of expensive therapists!

[dreena]

i went through alot of strange emotions the first few sessions of cbt... i thought it was pointless and stupid. then one day it just made sense x