tips for socializing

[Rachel_123]

hi guys,

i dont have social anxiety, i have GAD and just tend to worry about going to clubs because of its cramped environment, cramped toilets, and i worry that i'll need the bathroom and there wont be a free one. i also worry that i'll get so anxious that i'll have to leave, thus feeling highly embarassed.

have you any tips for me that will help me enjoy my clubbing experience? i refuse to let anxiety take away my social life!

[Bill]

worry about going
i worry that
i also worry that

Don't go, stay home and sit there worrying why you didn't go!

OR.........

refuse to let anxiety take away my social life!

Stop focusing and dwelling on worries and instead focus on all the good thoughts of looking forward to going......and just go for it!... because once you're there you'll be too busy enjoying yourself to be worrying about worries and afterwards leaving wondering what you were so worried about!

[Rachel_123]

hehe well, i did that! i went, and didn't worry and had a really fun night!

screw anxiety!

[Bill]

I feel there is a difference between those things we feel we Have to do and those things we Want to do. When we become anxious at the thought of something we really Want to do, we should just go for it because once we're doing rather than thinking, we're too busy enjoying ourselves to think about feeling anxious.

However, when we start worrying about things we Have to do, we tense ourselves up So much that we often end up panicking because it's something we can't look forward to as we've convinced ourselves we really won't enjoy it. In other words it's a chore we can't avoid that frightens us.

In these cases, I feel that's when you have to train your mind on the job in hand that's in front of you and not constantly think about how you're feeling.

You remember the stories about "imaginary friends"? Well, often we find facing fears very frightening when we feel we're having to face them alone. One little tip I've come across is that although often we are alone in these situations, if you hold in your mind the picture or a memory of someone you trust who you wish was by your side at that time or keep repeating to yourself words that you've heard this person say or something they did that you've found comforting, you can therefore create a comforting feeling of having this "imaginary friend" by your side in your hour of need. I guess you could say that some people who are religious will use this method when they're afraid or as some people think of a guardian angel beside them. However, I've heard it need not be someone connected with religion but just someone you admire or find comforting for whatever reason. I feel anything that can create a feeling of security must be a good thing. Just a thought.

Glad you enjoyed yourself Rachel but I confess I just knew you would because it was something you really Wanted to do! Proves though not to allow anxiety to prevent us from having fun!