life stuck

[vicky23]

does anyone else feel like their lives are on pause? I feel like I'm just drifting through life at the moment there's things I know I should do like learn to drive, get a job, do a course at uni but it's like I'm 'stuck' I just can't make that move to put those things into action. it's so frustrating I just need to PUSH through those barriers but it's really rather hard isn't it?

[Thumbelina]

with anxiety and panic and low mood it like that. Sometimes i experienced and some other people here told me as well that they felt that they phisically have been watching themselves from outside. Total depersonalisation and derealisation - thats what it is - but its just one of the consequences of anxiety.

[PanchoGoz]

Is this a physical feeling, like derealisation, or do you feel this is your whole life thats on pause? Maybe set your self a goal and start to work on it...move forward...

[vicky23]

it's not derealisation or depersonalisation, it's just a more general feeling of I need to do something with my life, I think it's seeing my friends do amazing things like going to uni and travelling etc and I dread them asking what I'm doing. maybe a case of worrying what others think of me

[Emphyrio]

I feel like that at times - I guess I always think the worst would happen. For example, I took driving lessons when I was 17, and ended up giving them up because of the fear that I would fail my test and feel sorry for myself as a result. I did go back to the lessons eventually though, but I had to push myself knowing that there was a possibility that failing could have a detrimental effect on my health. I guess that sometimes you really need to force yourself to do things instead of remaining in a comfort zone - I am very guilty of this. Of course, it's all about taking small steps at a time.

[northernjay]

I feel pretty much the same way. I get really angry at myself over my anxiety and how irrational it seems yet I am unable most of the time to do anything about it.

I feel like it holds me back from so many things, though sometimes I get round it. 3 years ago I managed to fulfill a dream and go to Boston and New York, depsite my fear of flying. But that was at a time in my life when I felt more in control of the anxiety.

Sadly a dream job in OZ came up earlier this year and I didn't even apply for it such was my state of mind at the time as I convinced myself that even if I got offered it I'd never be able to do the trip.

Whilst there is no certaintly I'd have got it I do look back and think it was a possibly good life changing opportunity wasted.

As said above goals, even small ones sometimes help. Being made redundant earlier this year I spent the first month just wollowing in self pitty. I then decided to keep a diary and jot down tasks for each day. When I run out of things to clean I then decided that each day I would cook something new from scratch. This did / does help give me a sense of achievement though some days I do just think this is just not enough.

[allergyphobia]

Hey Vicky, i deffo can relate to this. I feel like i've put everything on hold because of my anxiety and health problems... i'm forever saying 'oh when i get better i'll do this...' and it's just not good enough! i think the best thing to do is to write everything down you want to achieve eventually to help you visualise it better... just take one small step at a time this is a journey but you have to make it happen, and if you can see it all down on paper you can decide what direction to take. good luck x

[Thumbelina]

Whatever works better for everybidy is good as long we try to keep the mind busy with the right stuff

[Oddfish]

I can relate. My favourite phrase is "I will do it tomorrow" but then tomorrow never comes! I've found trying to do something new each day, even if it is small, helps a lot. For me, volunteering has been very good for this and has really made me feel like I am doing something worthwhile. I've started writing a diary too so I can look back and see that I have actually achieved things. The hardest thing to do though is to get to grips with the fact that only you can make your future happen. I'm guilty of thinking things will somehow miraculously come to me with no effort but of course it isn't true. Easier said than done when you have anxiety, but you really have to push yourself to make the changes you want.

[daydreamer]

^^ I am also guilty of waiting for things to fall into my lap. I guess I see it happening to others and then I expect the same to happen to me, I then feel like they are the lucky ones and I am just an unlucky person - which is totally the wrong way of thinking about it. We shouldnt compare ourselves to others and what they have achieved, like everyone's said we should celebrate our own achievements - however small. If we dont feel we have anything to celebrate then thats the time when we need to really push ourselves, to take a risk.

I also feel I am stuck in a rut and I am struggling to find a way out of it but I am doing something new each day and trying to build up my confidence to get out there and achieve what I know I can achieve!

To you I would say avoid thinking about doing everything at once! If you know you want to learnt drive, go to uni and get a job, well thats brilliant because you have your long term goals already planned, but thinking about them all at once is probably making them seem unachievable. Break them down into steps, so maybe think of getting a little job first - that in turn will build your confidence and give you some money you can put towards your driving lessons. Uni's great cause you can go at any age, so leave that one untill you know exactly what course you want to do and you have the money for the fee's! lol! Good Luck x