Cheers Calm. Hanging on in there and a day at a time.
Cheers Calm. Hanging on in there and a day at a time.
Mate, before you know it you'll be back to normal. I found I was tripping out for the first 5 -6 weeks after going on Cit (and I started out on 20mg). But after that it settled down nicely and then I was left feeling just slightly anxious. It was a good 8 weeks before I was feeling noticeably "different". Not sure how long I've been on now - maybe 5 or 6 months but I feel almost totally normal now. The reason I say almost is because I definitely do not feel emotions in the same way or cetainly not as intensely as I did before starting Cit. This medication saved my job and probably my life. Give it time, it can take up to 12 weeks to become fully effective. I know that's probably not the most comforting thought at the moment but I can guarentee you what you're feeling now will pass.
All the best mate
Rich
I have hope
Hi there
I started on 20mg of cit with 2mg of diazepam as a back up. I had bad side effects for a few weeks on the 20mg of cit but then after about 3 months I was still feeling anxious so my Dr increased to 40mg still with the 2mg of diazepam as back-up. Did not have terrible side effects when increasing to 40mg of cit, just a bit spaced out as though I was not really here! I have now been on cit for about 10 months in total and still on the 40mg and I feel so much better. I still have moments, but don't we all, but I have always got my 2mg of diazepam if I need them and I have never become addicted to them and very rarely need to take one.
You will get there, it is a bit of a struggle for the first few months, well it was for me, but you will start to feel better, I was a wreck at the end of last year but I am feeling just like my old self now and really wish you all the very best and that you get to that place yourself.
Jannie x x
Thanks for the post of encouragement. Really appreciate to hear good experiences.
Had an odd day yesterday where didn't feel my usual cit 'rush' I get but come half 3 felt the tension/stress/nerves kick in and resorted to a Diazepam.
Got GP appt this morning. Am a nervous wreck and feel panic kicking in. All started last year taking my first panic attack before a GP appt and having to drive myself to docs. About a 5 min drive. Been a big underlying problem 'meeting appointments' since. I know through CBT i should turn the 'what if.....' into a 'so what' but just a pain. Feel so embarrassed and ashamed about making an appointment, embarrassing myself in waiting room or with GP and the drive down. Gggrrr!!!!
Survived going to GP and going on my own rather than without a family member. Felt really really tense stressed during it. His opinion is much same as mine with taking things gently/slowly/patiently which is frustrating but we both know that is sensible way forward. Said at some stage consider upping dose from 20mg of cit to 30mg and to try and cut back on the Diazepam from three 5mg Diazepam to two 5mg so that doesn't become an issue. Whether this is right or wrong sometimes having them as a back-up is the crutch I need to get me through day even though I sometimes need them and sometimes don't.
Lol sorry just a random rant/diary update to share my experiences with everyone else. I know we are all different aswell as our GP's being different. We all have different tolerances and can react different to the side effects or medication. Hope it helps someone out there going through same as me and any comments are more than welcome. Think its camomeile tea and stress relief cd time.
Hi Mate,
I felt just having the tranquiliser as a backup was enough to get me through an horrendous period. I had some really scary times and kept challenging myself to hang in there. I knew I could have the tranq if things got totally bad and reality all came crashing down and I started to go totally insane and grow horns out of my head. Funny thing - it never reached that stage, I always knew I could hold out for just a little bit longer...
Stay focussed on getting better and before you take your next diaz maybe question yourself as to just how bad things are and whether you can go without them. Just trying to help mate so please don't take this as anything but encouragement. I, like you, had a chronic fear of becoming addicted to tranqs - which I think was definitely a plus in the end.
Cheers
Rich
I have hope
Cheers for the encouragement. Makes sense and is how I feel sometimes.
On the plus side yesterday I avoided the 'Citalopram rush' I normally get an hour or two after taking the pill in the morning. Second day on the trot. Is a positive. Downside was feeling really tense/stressed. I mean major. As if blood pressure going through the roof. No idea if this is just my mental state, the illness or meds. Maybe a mixture of all three. Who know, eh? Was like waking up this morning feeling ok then BAM feel the stress n tension again. GGRRR. I'm now on day 11 of 20mg of Cit after approx 12 days on 20mg before it.
Had a strange day of positives and negatives yesterday.
Bad news first. Got my 'Citalopram rush' back after two days without it. Good few hours of just feeling as high as a kite. The tension/stress/anxious/high blood pressure feeling I've had recently was there entire day. Is a pain and just try and remain positive throughout.
Good points were I went out and about a bit yesterday which I really didn't feel like doing. Delivered some leaflets for about an hour and a half for my Dads new kinda business venture, went to gym then for a swim after walking about 3 miles and at night went out for a meal with some family for my Grans birthday. These I need to take as positives I just hate turning round to my parents after I get a pat on the back for good day and saying 'I know but I still feel like rubbish'.
Woke up this morning just feeling same tense/stressed/mind racing kinda way. Have a CBT Therapist who comes to see me on a Thu night at home. Went private to see if she can shed any light on it. Gets frustrating as I've now had 4 appts with her and I've politely said last week or two 'look this n this are the problems'. Nice lady I'm just kinda like 'come on get to the point now'.
Will see how today goes. Anyone else feel this dull tense feeling all day? I struggle being specific with what it is exactly but as I said seems a mixture of tension/stress/high blood pressure/hyper.
Cheers folks
I get a tense feeling which tends to be in proportion to how anxious am at the time. Feel it all over, but seems to be my shoulders that get it worst (could count on one hand how many days they've not ached). Dunno if this is a similar thing to what you mean? I've not had any feelings of high BP, but have been on meds for my blood pressure for years.
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