Terrified

[puggawugga]

I've been reading this message board for the past couple days and so far it's been really helpful - I thought I'd post with my concerns and see if anyone can provide me with feedback.

I'm 24 and I've suffered from, OCD (obsessive thoughts) anxiety and panic attacks my entire life. The anxiety is constant, but the panic attacks only occurred maybe once a month. Over the past month, my anxiety has become out of control, and my panic attacks are happening 3 + times a day. The strange thing is, I don't know why this is happening. I see a therapist to work through my anxiety issues, but for the first time in my life my external world is perfect. I have an amazing husband who I love to death, I live in a wonderful city, have my dream job, few financial worries, and an amazing group of friends. So why my anxiety has become so bad is beyond me - but it's getting to the point where I am starting to have panic attacks during business meetings, and I'm scared I will lose my job!

My shrink has highly suggested that I start on Celexa (citalopram) but I am terrified beyond belief of the side effects. I of course started off reading only the bad things about the drug (stupid!) and I now can't let go of one thing that I read (here come the obsessive thoughts). I read about an experience where someone lost most of their emotion (on top of anxiety) and declared that they had "fallen out of love" with their spouse and ended the marriage, when it was surely only the drug. This is my BIGGEST FEAR! I don't want this drug to make me think that I don't love my husband, who I love SO much I can't even put it into words. We've been together for 7 years (married only 1) and he is my biggest cheerleader. I want my anxiety to go away, but I want to continue to FEEL. Aside from my anxiety, I generally have a great sense of humour and it's what my friends love most about me, and I love most about myself. I'm scared to lose that.

I am also very concerned about
a.) being nauseous and not able to work
and
b.) having my anxiety become much worse, and not be able to perform at my job.

I know that being on the fence about this isn't really an option, as I know I need to give meds a whirl - I've been trying to work through my anxiety issues with CBT for 3 years now and I feel like I've exhausted myself trying to go at it alone. I know I need to try, but I am so terrified even thinking about taking the meds that I've been having 6 + panic attacks a day for the past two days, and I can hardly sleep. People at work are starting to notice, which is making the anxiety much much worse.

Can anyone offer me any advice - I'm set to start on Friday.

Thank you thank you!

[bexy1970]

hi hun, your having exactly the same worries as i had!! but in the end i decided that peoples benefits after persevering were worth the side effects etc..a girl i work with is on them too and its sorted her out so much!!please start them! im only on day 4 and making myself believe that ne side effects will be worth it, ive had headache and drowsiness. nausea, but mild compared to what i thought id get!!! and my anx no worse than it was !! keep me posted xx

[keta]

Hello

I recently decrease my dose from 20 mg to 10 mg as i felt like a zombie and pretty emotionless not mentioning the loss of my sex drive. I have a very loving boyfriend and was aware that this has started affecting our relationship. So i understand your concern. This is my 3rd time on Citalopram in a space of 4 years and i'm starting to think that the medication is not the answer. Never the less i will stick to the 10 mg for now.

As for the nausea it only lasts usually for first few days the best thing is to take the tablet after you had someting to eat either in the morning or in the evening. You will probably have some problems to sleep initially and also feel more anxious for a week or two.
All you can do is to try it, but remember that Citalopram doesn't start fully work for about month or two so you will have to be patient with it and try not to think about the side affects too much.

Good luck

[steveo1980]

Do you have any holiday you can take from work? This may make it easier for you to begin them and incase you get any side effects.