Whats happening to me!!!

[TracyL]

Hi Guys

Well here goes! This is really hard for me to write because I just have no idea whats wrong with me but I keep fearing i'm going mad .

I think I may be suffereing depersonalization/derealization! Not sure which and not sure if that is whats wrong . I have read heaps on the internet and on this site and I seem to have bits of each. I feel like i'm going around in a dream. Its like i'm more aware of me inside than I am of the outside world. This makes me really panic and I find myself thinking stuff that I have no idea how it got there and why i'm thinking it. I panic about heaps of thoughts etc. Even driving to work today i saw something in the road and was sure it was a huge spider on the road (I live in Australia and believe me they can get very big lol) , when i got near though it was a tree branch in the shape of a spider i must admit, which was blowing in the wind. Normally i'd just laugh at my stupidness but this time I thought oh my god, i've definately lost it . As I say, I just feel like every thing i do i'm doing automatically like i'm watching it on a movie or something.

I have suffered anxiety/panic attacks etc for many years. I have taken Inderal for over 20 years and even thought maybe it has changed and that is what is causing me these symptoms.

Any advice would be appreciated.

thanks
Tracy

[Baggs]

I too feel like my life is a movie - I watch things happening, see people doing stuff but don't take part myself. I don't have any advice, sorry - just wanted you to know that you are not alone. All the best. Baggs.

[BritTutor]

Tracy, I have been there myself. It's not nice. But you drive with this? I got so bad I felt that if I just ran and ran, I'd escape from it.

I think some of the feelings are physical - I got so stressed around my head that it felt as though I was wearing a diver's helmet. And the skin goes numb and your feel hot and tired and without energy. And your eyes warp and exaggerate everything and the world seems black. That's enough in itself to make you feel as though the world is not real.

Then there is the anxiety - constantly thinking about your symptoms and thoughts and worries - until you are spending no time on things outside yourself.

Then there is the lack of interest in the outside world. That also keeps you trapped.

And finally there is the time you've spent feeling like this - it's become a habit.

So here's what you do.

First - sleep well, do relaxation exercises, go running or exercising (shown to help with depression and anxiety).

Second - get yourself back into your life. Find out what you used to do before this and get back into the normal routine. You won't enjoy it all for a while, but do it anyway.

Third - make sure in your panicky times, you are doing something that stops you thinking and worrying. Read books. Teach someone how to do something. (I bought a dictophone and talk into it about things I should do to improve while driving and walking.)

Fourth - write down how you feel every time you feel well, and use this to remind yourself when you feel jittery or anxious.

Fifth - know that you'll be okay soon, just as I was, and let time pass.

[TracyL]

Hi Guys

thanks so much for your replies, it really does help to know i'm not alone in this. I have suffered this before but i'm talking like 20 years ago just after I had my second child. At that time I couldn't drive or do anything. Eventually I came out of it but as time has gone on I seem to have forgotten how bad it was back then, right up until now when it has happened again. Now I work full time and don't have a choice cos of money etc so I have to admit that adds to the panic because I know I have to drive.

Thanks so much for your advice BritTutor, I will definately follow that and hopefully can start to feel a bit more like myself.

Thanks guys
Take care
Tracy