Please help - I feel I am going mad!

[lisa p]

Hi - I wondered if anybody could offer me any advice.

I am 34 years old and having been suffering for 10 + years. Nobody has ever told be what is wrong with me - but at the moment things are pretty bad.

I think it all started about 12 years ago when I was travelling on holiday with my husband, we were on our way home when I started to feel sick. We were about four hours from home and that was aweful. Although I wasnt sick I felt so ill.

Since then, over the years things have slowly progressed - I now cannot travel more then 10 minutes from home. I hate going to the shops - i shop onthe internet when I can, we do not have holidays and since Xmas I have started to work from home for my husband.

I have been seeing a councillor but this involves a 20 minute car journey into town, on my last visit, three weeks ago, I felt so sick and shaky when I parked the car, I was crying, and really had to make an effort not to jump in the car and leave. I ended up staying for 10 minutes and had to run back to the car. I was struggling to get my breath, felt really sick and really shaky and felt not with it at all. The need to escape was so great it left me feeling very scared. Since then I have not been able to go anywhere apart from the local shop and the school run - all with a 10 minute drive.

I dread the weekends in case anybody suggests going out - Im running out of excuses! I really feel that I need to now what is wrong with me and how I can try to get over the way I feel. I worry incase the children are ill and had to be taken to hospital - at the moment I wouldnt be able to go - Please tell me I'm not mad!

Thanks for reading this.

Love LPx

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Lisa, I don't have a problem with getting out any more, I feel better in crowds because I think if something happens then there is plenty of help about. I do, however, have a thing about hospitals & recently my little boy was knocked down & I had to spend a week on the children's ward. I wasn't with Kian when he was knocked down (he's only 5 & it was a hit & run, although he was with a responsible adult, which made it even harder to cope with), but I went to pieces when I got to the hospital. The doctor had to treat me before he treated Kian!! God forbid you ever need to go to hospital in the same situation as me with your children, but if you do ever have to take them, I'm sure you will just go into auto-pilot & be brilliant; I forgot my panic within half an hour of getting to the hospital & don't think i'd have panicked at all had I gone for something like a cut knee or a temperature, I think it was just the shock of not knowing what to expect with Kian; you always think the worst. I've had counselling too, I've had 14 sessions altogether, & spent the first 13 sessions talking about everybody else before I talked about me! I didn't even realise it. It did help me, but my panic & anxiety are still here. I hope things get easier for you, I know how hard it is on the children, mine know there is something not quite right & take care of me in their own little ways, bless em! I went through a bout of depression in the early years of my 1st marriage & I couldn't walk through the door, was petrified at the thought of my husband or my friends asking me to go out, but I kinda grew out of it as I got older, it took me about 15 years though to get over that completely. I hope you soon get over yours too.

Les

[jackie]

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/default...=cms&c=reading

HAVE YOU TRIED READING UP ON YOUR FEELINGS ETC.

I RECCOMEND THE CLAIRE WEEKE SBOOK SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES

OTHER THAN THAT I CAN ASSURE YOU YOU ARE NIOT ALONE. ANY HELP I CAN GIVE I WILL BUT DO GET YOURSELF THAT BOOK
JACKIE

[sal]

Hi Lisa

Sorry things are so bad for you at the moment. You are by no way alone in how you feel and so many people on here will offer advice and all the support you need.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[darkangel]

Hi Lisa

I can relate to how you feel and I have spent many years not being able to leave my home or go very far when I do. But one bit of advice I will say is try not to look at the big picture, take it in small steps and keep on practising. Try distraction when you are in the car, I make up names with cars number plates or sing along to music, anything to distract but not too much if you are trying to concentrate on driving as well !!
Have you tried CBT for your irrational thoughts - this may be useful to you?

You are in no means mad it is just your body reacting to the thoughts you are having.

Take care

Darkangel x

........life is for living not just for surviving

[blondeangel]

First...you are NOT going mad!
I am sorry that you are feeling this way, but maybe you should get a diagnosis...it helps a lot, and once that happens you can do some research, which can help a lot to. I have found that understanding my condition has helped. Myself I have Panic Disorder. I am NOT a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but I am studying to be a counsellor for children and youth, and actually just covered anxiiety disorders in one of my psychology classes at college. It sounds like you have Agoraphobia coupled with anxiety and/panic. It is not uncommon for people with panic or anxiety disorders to have Agoraphobia too.
I hope that you find this board useful, and helpful and supportive...I am fairly new here myself.
AT times I almost feel like I am going mad too...but trust me you are not! And if you feel that way, and you need to talk, I have found the people on here very supportive.
I agree with darkangel...you are NOT mad. Your body and mind are just reacting in a certain way that may think that you are going mad.
Plus, you are talking to people who understand how you feel...so you are NOT alone.

[Meg]

Hello Lisa

I agree , you nare heading down the agoraphobia rourte with your boundaries closing in on you.

Read up on our home pages about it and then try to counter it. www.nopanic.org do a great telephone recovery service and focussed CBT therapy is the treatment of choice rather than general counselling unless your counsillor is experienced in this.

You can recover from this alone with self help too. Either way it takes effort and persistance to make progress but is well worth the hard work

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[sal]

Hi Lisa

How are you hun?

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".