bloody blips

[trac67]

As some of you may know I came off my meds in October after being on them for nearly 8 years.

I have been doing ok, some days have been a struggle but I have persevered and thought I was doing ok.............. until last night.

Last night I had my daughters parent teacher evening, being a single parent who's children don't have contact with their dad (his choice not theirs I will add), I know I have to attend all these things.

Off we went, me and my 14 year old daughter, list of appointements in hand, 8 teachers to see first appointment 5.50pm last appointment 6.50pm.........easy.

Well so I thought, I walked into the hall feeling great and suddenly wham bam anxiety hits, eyes wont focus, legs go to jelly, breathing goes to pot..........and what do I do, I bloody ran, with poor Jade trailing behind me. Once I was back in the car I was fine, but too late then I was already in floods of tears, and there was no way I could go back in there looking like that.

I know how to deal with the panics and the anxiety, I could write a book on it, so why didn't I take my own advice and stand my ground, I am so angry with myself that I let it control me last night, and to be honest I now feel like I have failed......failed at being a good parent, failed at controlling my anxiety, maybe I am being hard on myself, but I hate to fail.

Anyway I need to get over this blip and put it behind me, and I will, but sometimes it is so bloody hard......... maybe I need to accept I am not superwoman and I can't take on the world, who knows eh!

Next parents evening I will be there and I will not run, sod the anxiety I wont let it take over my life yet again.

Thanks Nic for the phone call last night, it really helped and stopped my tears, what am I like LOL.

Take care

Trac xx









'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[clickaway]

Failed?

Nah, we are only human and that includes you !

If only we could control everything, it would be all hunky-dory but it doesn't work like that.

Are you to contact the school to explain, and perhaps arrange to see any specific teachers another time?

Hugs to ya mate,



Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[trac67]

Hi Ray,

Thanks hun, I have sent Jade into school with a letter this morning apologising, explaining and asking if I can go and see the teachers at another time.

And thanks for the hug, much needed today !!

Love

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Trac, I know the feeling too well, single parent to 3. I have my youngest daughter's parents evening on Monday. I'm dreading it, i'm not too bad in open public spaces, but the thought of going into the school is unnerving me a bit, but I love your positive attitude that you will be at the next parents evening.

Les

[henri]

Hey Trac,

I really really feel for you - blips are such horrible things.
Had you been stressing out about going to the parent evening before hand? I often find blips get me when i've been building something up in my head, sometimes without even realising it.
You have not failed at anything and I bet you are a fantastic mum.

Take care,

Henri x

[ANXIETY26]

Well we all know your not a failiure, well I know you are'nt so I can vouch for you there and I'm sure many others can aswell.

As for trying to be a superwoman I agree. It's all well and good helping others out on here but you have to find a balance and take some time out for yourself aswell.

Giving to others is one of the great pleasures that give our lives meaning, so I commend you for your unselfish support of friends. But, in order to keep helping others, you need time to replenish your own spirit and take care of your needs. Kind of like filling your own "love" well.

Like you said, It's just a blip, put it behind you and move on.

[Piglet]

Trac you know very well what I think 'missy'!!!!!!

Obviously as a single mum of 3 teenagers the old parents evening is one of my little wobblers too. Thankfully ours are no longer done all in the hall like that and we go to different classrooms - this means on the whole I can keep moving!!

My behaviour at parents evening has to be seen to be believed at times. I have some sort of mini personality transplant at these things and either can't stop talking (verging on hysterically) or I'm plunging my head into my handbag to smell some lavender, coming out of it with mad hair and a rather glazed expression on my face.

It's really rather nice to know I am not the only one!!!!!!

Big hugs mate and catch you later.

Love Piglet xx

[trac67]

Lesley, good luck for Monday, then need a quick queue at these things for us anxious people dont they LOL.

Henri, thankyou for replying, I was actually very positive about the whole thing, until I entered that hall, thats when it fell apart.

Paul, thanks for the nice post hun, and I know I should find a balance, if I do maybe you will stop nagging me on MSN then [}], I will do it and I will get there, today is a new day eh, and what happened yesterday is in the past.

Piglet, thats the third time you've called me missy in 2 days now, I will be in the naughty corner next LOL. Well I have Erin's parent teacher evening next week, and that is one teacher one room, much more the way I like it, I can cope with that one, thank goodness Ami has left school now and goes to work otherwise that would have been another one to......er look forward to as well !!

Love Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Piglet]

ok there missy!!!

When I say it I really emphasis the word big style - I'm doing it alot at home too and I think the kids have just about had enough, the middle one has asked very nicely if I will stop calling her boyfriend 'twinkle toes' or 'woolly nose' too, as its imasculating him!!!! I ask you boys these days !!

Love Pig xx

[Karen]

Hi Trac this was just a blip as you are able to recognise. Even when we know how to manage the pain, it is still possible to feel overwhelmed at times.

However, it is definitely NOT failure and you are being pro-active about going back there and making alternative appointments. Well done for that.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey