taking my daughter out on my own

[tanya 1]

hi everyone,im 26 years old and have a daughter who is five years old and since she was born i have struggled to take her out on my own because i get really anxious and have panic attacks when im on my own,when she was about 2 n half and still in her buggy i overcome taking her to playgroup on my own and back and also helped out there a lot but since she started nursery at 3 i have been unable to do so except the ocasional times that i have managed to do it on my own,all my family have tried to help taking her and picking her up but now its no good shes asking me why i cant pick her up on my own,as i will go with someone but not on my own,its only ten minutes walk and i dont drive otherwise probably would drive her down and back,so i can do normal stuff with people,(go out with friends or family for meals, drinks,shopping,days out,go on holiday,go on trains, boats,planes,i can do absolutley anything as long as someones with me but now ive had enough and need to do stuff on my own so was wondering what you all thought about getting first access team in to help me take my daughter to school and eventually with there help do it on my own and then start taking my daughter other places on my own ? because the guilt of asking my family to help all the time is making me feel guilty

so any views would be great

and thank you for reading

tanya x

[paula lynne]

Hi Tanya, Im agoraphobic and suffer panic too. Yes, the easy option is to rely on others. But ultimately, it makes us feel weak and worthless that we cant do it on our own. YOU CAN DO IT, because I did it, and lots on here have too. Take it one step at a time, maybe building up the time you are out along a familiar route at first. You will feel such a sense of achievement...baby steps hunny, just baby steps. U can do it!!!

[tanya 1]

awww thanks for your reply paula,sometimes i just get so fed up and upset,i just need the courage to do it but it terrifies me,but yes your right baby steps is what i need to do x x

[paula lynne]

YOU CAN DO IT.....YOU CAN DO IT!! xxxx

[diane07]

Tanya,

I'm exactly the same as you, its the one thing i can't manage, the school run.

I'll tell you what is strange though, if the school phoned me and asked me to go pick my daughter up from school half way through the day, i could do it on my own, and i think the reason for this is, at school time you have to go because the school closes, you know you can't turn back as we can't leave our children just standing there on there own, so we feel the pressure that we have no choice.

What may help you is if your daughters school has an after school facility, so maybe you could pick her up a bit later when there aren't many people around, would that make it easier, if not, is there anyone from the school who lives close by who could walk with you, i know exactly how you feel, my little girl has also started asking why can't i pick her up on my own, makes me feel awful, but its something i have got to start pushing myself with.

I'm at the same stage of my agora as you, i can go the races, on trains, boats etc but all aslong as someone is with me, i don't even mind if its someone i don't know very well as long as i'm not on my own.

di xx

[Nigel]

Hi Tanya,

Firstly I think a big WELL DONE is in order for all the things you can do

One thing that I think might hold a key is to look again at what allowed you to take your daughter to playgroup, and what changed to make it a problem when she started nursery...

Take care,
Nigel