I'm feeling a bit of a failure at the moment [V] On Saturday, I went to my aunt's wedding in Hull (I live in Lincoln). I was a bit nervous in the morning about the journey etc, but took my Kalms & rescue remedy and was quite impressed that I was actually fine - only one moment of acute anxiety when the roads got pretty bad from the snow, and I realised that my screen washer jets were frozen solid. I got there, was a bit nervous on having stopped the car (suddenly not having to concentrate I guess), but got inside, located the ladies and soon got chatting with the rest of the assembled family, and was ok again. Got through the ceremony & through the meal after ok, but after the dessert I started to feel REALLY ill (I was roasting hot, had already had a headache, and felt really sick), which in turn made me really panicky. I asked my sister if she would come outside with me to get some fresh air, which she did, but it only got worse (the illness and the panic), and I ended up being ill in the car park [xx(] (partly because I felt safer sat in my dad's car than back inside the hotel). Being physically ill from panic is something that has NEVER happened to me, in all the many years I've been suffering, and whilst part of me is saying that because of that it MUST have been something I ate (the cream in the profiteroles tasted a bit suspect to be honest), or that I was ill anyway (I actually had a migraine 24 hours later, during last night, which often makes me ill with it), but the other half is saying that those reasons are only excuses, and that I've failed, after doing so well for so long, by giving in to the panic :( In the end, I had to ask my fiancee to drive me home, but even now, thinking about it is making me shiver :(
--- Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
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