I totally lost it!!!!

[Peru83]

Hi guys,

Not been on in a while just been such a hectic time over xmas (phew glad it's over). Wasn't sure where to post this so hope it's the right place.

A few weeks ago now I assaulted me neighbour!!!![Oops!][:O]. I am by no means a violent person but I had reached my limit, something in me snapped. I have mentioned this neighbour in previous posts not sure if you all remember but she has done nothing but cause me problems and spread nasty things about me. Well over xmas I was really down and things got to me quite a bit, my panic was way over the scale and just as I was starting to feel half way normal again out pops this neighbour and starts with the attitude, well something snapped I started shouting back. I felt such a releif at even that. We were shouting at each other quite a bit and then she called my kids *******s well............I flipped and I just started hitting her. One of my other neighbours had to come and grab me off her and take me home I was shaking with complete anger! but what a relief! It was like a big stress was lifted. I'm not proud of the way it ended up and wish I had just nipped it in the bud years ago by not putting up with her crap. I have quite shocked and frightend my self as I did cause her quite an injury and walked away with an assault charge :([No].

I just want to know has anyone else ever lost it like this? Was I in the wrong?(my mum thinks so).

Ty for reading

Take Carexx

Claire

[sal]

Hi hun

Been close but no one has ever pushed me to that limit. Thinking of you and understand how hard this must be for you when you were dooing so well.

Its something that happened and you will come through this and we are all here to support you.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[Peru83]

Hi sal,

Ty for your reply . Like I said I do totally regret how I handled things and will be discussing this with my councellor, maybe I need anger management or something?! who knows. This event has just put a bit of a tail spin on how I feel lately, not that I'm overly depressed or finding things difficult but just doubting my self control a little.

But again ty for your support sal

Take Carexx

Claire

[Piglet]

Tricky - best advice would have been to walk away but this is the real world and these things happen!!!

Why does your mum think it was your fault????

Claire hun only you know if you need anger management - I have definately been surrounded by people in my life from time to time who would have benefited from these and when I was a teenager I think I could be quite angry at times (yeah right Piglet - crush a grape - scary man)!!!

Love Piglet xx

[henri]

Hi Claire,

I think it's one of those things that most of us act out in our heads but stop short of going through with. Maybe you should have walked away but you didn't - and as for being the one in the wrong, well, it takes two to tango in these situations and the neighbour probably pushed you over your boundaries. She could have walked away at an earlier stage but she didn't.
So I don't think you should beat yourself up about it - what happened happened. I think you are taking a really good approach by discussing it with your counsellor.
Anyone that refers to children as '*******s' really really isn't worth the time of day. She sounds like a complete nightmare.

Take care!

Henri x

[Peru83]

Thank you guys for your replies,

Piglet - Why

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">does your mum think it was your fault????</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

She just thinks that (as always) I should be the bigger person and walked away! but I have been walking away from this woman for 3 years and letting her say and do what she wants to avoid confrontation and atmosphere. I mean who wants problems with their neighbours - there is no getting away from it! My mum is just dissapointed, especially since I've managed to go 22 years without police trouble and here I am charged with assault! My dad on the other hand said he was in a weird way proud of me cause at long last I had stuck up for my self, cause when I was at school I was bullied and my dad would say 'hit them back' mum would say 'walk away' and usually I would run lol.

Lucy -

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Not something I'm proud of but at the time I was soooo enraged at this person's comments and her foulmouth I just went berserk.</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

This just sums the situatioin up with my neighbour to a T!

Henri -

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Anyone that refers to children as '*******s' really really isn't worth the time of day.</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Exactly right!

I must say I think that I have learned a valuable lesson here and it's to not let people get off with treating me and my family like garbage. I need to be more firm and assertive from the offset so as to avoid this happening again.

Take Carexx

Claire

[andrew]

hi claire,

yep your mum is right, you've got no rights to put your hands on anybody other than to defend yourself from a physical threat.

and dont get me wrong, im all for you sticking up for yourself, but beating somebody up because you didnt like what they said isnt the way to go about it.

anyway its done. yep the best way to make sure it doesnt happen again is to analyse and discuss it. and maybe you need a physical outlet in your life, some kind of sport or something rather than anger management.

you take care .. andrew

[Piglet]

My mum and dad hold exactly the same views as yours do!!!!! Very confusing as a child but I always went with mums advice but sometimes feeling like I wanted to do dads!!!!

Love Piglet

[dave11282]

I totally relate to your incident.

I lost it last summer & got into trouble & am now on probation.

I was examined by 2 psychiatrists and have been diagnosed with having PTSD. Deep down I knew there was something wrong with the way I ticked over.

But, I would like to back up another statement previously made.
Dont beat yourself up about it. Whats done is done. I did feel guilty for my actions for a while. Now I dont. Like said, it takes two to tango. And your neighbour played their part.

In the greater scheme of things on planet earth, what you did was very minute compared to say, what the wrong doings of say a whole government who makes decisions with a stroke of a pen changing effecting thousands of peoples of lives.

I have come to terms with myself, accepting me, and realising PTSD or not, everyone loses their rag and has limits. I have read many books about how one can condition oneself to react less to frustrations of life. It has helped. But I still get angry, but now I am more aware of my emotions & feelings. I have better coping skills to activate my tonic system and bring myself back down again. I use CBT, relaxation techniques, NLP, Kava, hot baths, massage, anything that will help you relax again. You have to discover new ways of relaxing. Is not easy is this modern world where there is 6 billion people knowing everyone elses business.

hope this helps

Dave

[Peru83]

Cheers Dave,

Thanx for your kind and supportive words, means alot


Take Carexx

Claire