too much pressure!!

[Paddington]

oh dear i am havin such a bad time of late!Today i find myself in tears,AGAIN!It' as tho i am trying to pull myself free of quicksand and the harder i try the deeper i sink!It is stemming from guilt i think.My Mom is gettin on and it is sooo cold and she needs more help,but as i am terrifeid of driving i freeze at the thought of going there,it's only up the road but lots of ring roads and lights.i am a fairly new driver [passed last year,and have loathed it ever since!]i think my family think i am being lazy and selfish,they say not but i can hear the silent sighs of disapproval coming from them every time i say 'icant'!I feel pressured whichmakes it worse.i love my mom but she can be scathing at times,she has just rung me and i knew it would be about needing something[guilt again]of course she needs me she is 79 soon!She wanted to know if my son was in so he could take her shopping,but he isnt[guilt again]i was saying if she could wait till later i would come with someone to help out[ican do that]but my brother arrived at her house and she was so pleased to see him[even tho he gets angry with her over her drinking]i could hear his voice over the phone,and when she said i was on the phone,he just said 'OH'.and it has sooo upset me as i thought at least he and i had a good relationship [the other siblings three of them moved years ago.]I cant see a way out today ,i want the old me back,not this snivvelin shakin wreck!Thanks 4 listening guys.mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Alexandra]

Hi Mary

Sending big ((((HUGS)))) your way. Things will get better.

How your feeling will pass Mary, you have been doing so well lately with all your achievements & your support for me when ive been having crappy days has been brilliant, you have kept me smiling throughout.

Your a really great person & you will get to the end of that tunnel with the rest of us soon.

Keep positive & your chin up.

((((HUGS)))

Thinking of you

Take Care



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Paddington]

thanx Alex,you are so kind.Have just come off the phone with mom and she was really terse and told me to ring back in ten mins,and my brother had done the shopping!so i'm weepin all overagain.and now my partner will be angry as he thinks my famolyis the root cause of my problems,nd has threatened to tell them so ,but i dont want him too,as it will all back fitre and i hate confrontation!Thanks again 4 listening.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Paddington]

thank you so much 4 your reply Nigel,you are right of course!The more i wallowed todaythe worse i got!Well 2morow i have to pick my daughter up fromwork,and i will not let her down!Let you al know tomorrow how it goes.I have to let go ,of guilt,fear and anger too,i see this now,as responding with despair,which led me to anger and self pity,has not helped one jot!Thanks Nigel,love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Paddington]

well folks,i did it,drove to the school and got my daughter!I was anxious all morning[anxious,not wallowing in self pity,a very unattractive and pointless excercise]i have deciced to take control[like you Andrew!]and thanks again Nigel for your words of wisdom,and alex to for understanding.So onwards and upwards today and i will take one day at a time too!My poor girl has been told today that there is no funding for her role within the special needs school where she works,she is heart broken.It has helped me put things into perspective folks.You cant wallow when you are cring for anothers pain.I learnt that here too,hey aren't we allFAB!!!!love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[honeybee3939]

Thats great news Mary, you should be so proud of yourself!!!


Andrea
xx

[panicdiva]

Mary Rose, well done on picking up your daughter - hope this has boosted your confidence a little. I think the idea of trying the drive to your mums when the roads are less busy is a great idea. That guilt is a horrible trip isn't it??? I soooo hate it. The thing is, we all have bad days when it all seems so overwhelming & we think we will never be free again, so try to hold onto the thought that the next day, it might not seem so bad. Just the fact that you picked up your daughter today shows that you are not letting that bad day dictate how your next day will be so well done! I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's job - I hope something else turns up soon.

[Piglet]

Oh well done mate

Take things little by little and you will get there. Nigel had lots of words of wisdom about the guilt thing (spect lots of us took that onboard)!!

Could you try and explain to some of the family how difficult you find certain things then perhaps they wouldn't expect too much of you - mind you Mary Rose I think we are far worse than our families and have much sterner expectations of ourselves than they ever can.

We could learn to treat ourselves more kindly couldn't we for a start

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Meg]

Superb Mary and Yes go easy on yourself but practice in your own time and pace and you may yet surprise them all. Maybe screen calls for a while so not to get put in that position for a while

Guilt is a self imposed emotion that never brings any good.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[Paddington]

what can i say[no it's not an oscar speech ha ha ha]thank you all so much.It is wonderful to get this support.Nigel,yes that post is, right on,along the lines of 'feel the fear and do it anyway'!Andrea,panic diva and piglet,thank you too not 4gettin meg,you are so right guilt is self imposed,and is destructive!Thanks for the kind words for my Daughtr too[picking her up again tommorrow!]And finally...no ,only joking!!!!!!Mind you it is rather like an oscar speech after all.hey i got my laughter back!love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore