as i am typing this i am on 10mg diazapam a day, 80mg propranalol, a sleeping tablet and prozac 20mg. very long story but had anxiety problems for years but always coped with anti depressants through the worst of it. i consider myself very stoic and have coped with periods of constant anxiety simply with acceptance even though it has been very difficult at times.

i came off citalopram about 8 weeks ago thinking i could manage without - BIG MISTAKE. Now realise this spiral into a black hole has been coming on for a year ever since i started reducing my dose and the last few weeks my anxiety has been UNBEARABLE. i have also had the worst year ever with 4 tragic events in the family - the fourth being a cancer diagnosis for my step dad last week. 2 weeks ago tomorrow i was prescribed prozac and 2mg diazapam for emergencies. In the last 3 weeks i have had several emergency gp appointments, a home visit because i rang and said i could not cope for another minute - this led to me being taken to casualty on the advice of my gp for a psychiatrist assessment.

i have also had to ring the out of hours doctor twice because i have been climbing the walls. my husband and mum have virtually had to spend every minute with me and whole days have passed with me sat crying inconsably convinced i am going to die or be driven to suicide (even though i desperately want to live and get better). my thoughts have been so black - all about death/dying/admitted to hospital etc and my brain is not giving me a moments peace. i am having to see my gp every two days at present and she started me on 2 x 5mg diazapam for a few days to try and break this cycle i am in.

i thought i knew everything there was to know about anxiety and how to deal with it - distraction etc - having been a sufferer for 13 years but have never been in such hell and it has me so gripped that at times i am not sure how i am managing to remain standing. i am desperately hoping the prozac will start to kick in soon.

has anyone else on this forum truly felt this bad and got through?