Hello - I'm new.

[StarryBlueGal]

Hello everybody,

I have been lurking on this board for few times. I have panic attacks for a long time. I sometimes get them in the winter, but in the summer, I am usually fine. Recently I got redundant from my job, which I have been doing for 2 years. The panic attacks slowly returned as I was really shocked when my boss told me the news. Now I'm unemployed since last week - yes the same week during Christmas!

Now I had really bad panic attack last night, and I had these really deep thoughts, it was like a hidden thought behind my main thoughts - like I'm not important in this world, and life is not the same etc, the universe is so big and I am really tiny...- I felt like I'm going mad and I feel like I can't control things. I was shaking like hell and can't breathe. I tried to breathe slowly and it was in the middle of the night, I have not been sleeping well lately on/off. I feel sick sometimes and my stomach is wobbly. I am slowly getting OK again but I don't want it to happen again. My head was tightening up and it was hurting. It was like hot burning feelings.

I hate Christmas and I am not very good with eating in front of people. I know this sounds stupid but I am glad to find this forum. My family doesn't really understand how I am feeling and I feel so alone sometimes. I haven't been to the GP as I am scared and I don't like to take medication at all. I know I should but I am too scared to let change take over my life. I had a bad year in 2010 and I want it to be better soon.

Thanks for listening and I know you all will understand me.

StarryBlueGal xx

[paula lynne]

Hi Starry, welcome to the forum, youll find lots of help and support here.

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP
Paige x

[Distel]

I am the same as you and have panic attacks but for a different reason have you thought about getting some counselling it would be good to go to your GP if you dont like taking medication they might offer you other help. Welcome to the site

[jothenurse]

Definitely go to your doctor. That doesn't mean you have to take medications. Some counseling may help you.

[southernmagpie]

Hello Starry. Welcome to the forum.

I was reluctant to go to my GP about this but if you have a good one they are very understanding and as others have said they may recommend counselling or other help, which is what i am getting.

[_Emma]

Hi Welcome 2 the forum, I know u'll find lots of support around here, it's really helped me a lot. It sometimes even helps just 2 know there r others who feel the same way u do, always good 2 know ur not alone!

[StarryBlueGal]

Hello everybody,

Thanks for the lovely welcome. I found this forum really useful, I found this few months ago and found that most of you had the same things with me, which was a relief. I also belong to some panic groups on Facebook, and found that really helpful.

I am not really into counselling, but I know some friends who tell me that they found it really helpful. I am not keen on telling a stranger about my private thoughts and feelings. I would rather talk with a friend or family about it. I know if I don't do something about it, I would get worse.

My first panic attack was in 1997. On Christmas Day. I never forget that day. I hated that and since then I hate Christmas, as I associate it with panic attacks.

Starry xx

[jothenurse]

I know sometimes it's hard to talk to a stranger, but after awhile you learn to feel comfortable with your counselor. Talking to friends and family is fine, but sometimes they don't always know how to help you or what has helped other people going through what you are going through.

[blueangel]

Like some of the others, I really recommend that you go and see your GP - they're often remarkably helpful about anxiety and depression issues, as it's something that affects huge numbers of people.