Toilet Phobia ----Suffering a life time.

[Lalunavine]

Hi all,
I've been doing a lot of research on this topic and it is comforting to know that so many other people suffer from the same thing.

Toilet phobia sounds silly. It sounds embarrassing, and for those of us who suffer from it....it is!

I'm 19 years old and I've been suffering from this for 11 years. When I was 8 years old, my family and I went on a road trip to Philadelphia and on our way back we got stuck in the middle of a horrible snow storm. The roads were completely covered in snow. This wasn't an unusual thing to see, but right at that moment, I felt that all too familiar urge. I was about to have a diarrhea attack and there wasn't a toilet in site. My dad pulled over, and there, on the side of the road...in front of a million cars stopped in traffic, I sat in 2 feet of snow on one of the coldest days of the years and had the worst attack of my life.

Ever since then, traveling has been hell...and unfortunately, my family has traveled A LOT. I've lived in multiple different countries, and have been to every state in the USA and right now, I'm living in Canada. Ever since starting college the anxiety has gotten worse.

I learned to cope with the fear by focusing on certain things. I pray from the moment I get into a car..to the moment it parked in the wanted destination. I do breathing exercises, and sit completely still with so noise. When I'm in in a car, I don't move, I don't talk, I get irritable, and sometimes even start to hyperventilate. It's bad. I won't go anywhere, and it's so sad because I love the outdoors, and I love traveling. I just hate the feeling of not having a toilet around. I'm also slightly OCD and when I go on road trips I have to know how long the trip will take, where all the stops are, and which routes will get us there faster. It's miserable.

Now, I've never told anyone about my issue. Even my parents don't FULLY understand how bad it is (and I've had it since I was a child!)...but I've recently gotten engaged, and my fiance' noticed my panic attacks happening when we'd go on dates. He asked me about it, and when I was ready, I told him. I told him everything, and ever since then, he has been by my side, holding my hand, every time we're in a car. Having him know has made it A LOT easier to deal with. Sadly, even though he'll never admit it, I know it hurts him that I don't want to go on adventures with him. He loves road trips and doing exciting things and I, his soon to be wife, won't do it with him. Not because I don't want to, but simply because I am afraid. It's horrible.
It's so bad that it isn't only being in cars or traveling, it's walking, sitting in a crowded room, walking from one class to the next, meal times, meetings, and even sex. Things that should be enjoyable, or things that I need to do....I can't do them! I panic everywhere, all the time.

I need help to get rid of this. If anyone has ANY idea what might work, please let me know. This is such a serious issue in my life. It's to the point where I even spend the every car ride in tears. This has CONSUMED my life. I have been considering seeing a psychiatrist but I don't want to waste the money if it's not worth it. (I'm a poor college student.)

Please help.
Thank you!

[Ecclesiastes]

Hi, I suffer from this problem and it used to be quite bad. I went to see a doctor and she told me a couple of things you might find useful:

1) Practice deep breathing when you feel panic (sounds like you already do this which is good)
2) Try to be aware of the fact that, in the absence of a specific physical infirmity and without having consumed an extremely large amount of food or drink in one sitting, nobody ever loses control of their bladder/bowels. "It never happens," the doctor said.
3) If you can, try keeping a diary of eating/drinking and using the toilet in an ordinary setting, like at home. Take note of the time of day each time you eat/drink and each time you use the toilet. This will make you aware of your own regular pattern; I got a lot better after doing this for a bit.

Hope that's useful.

[misskitty]

Yep been there, done that, lol. I had this problem for years throughout my teenage years and right into when I started work. Was terrified of not having a toilet around.. and using motorways was the worst for me.
For me it was the embarrasment of the whole thing.. needing the toilet in a public place, someone knowing I was using the loo etc.. I wish I could give you some advice, other than reassure you that its beatable.. it's been way over 10 years now since I have even thought about it

[Sweetpea6]

Sadly, even though he'll never admit it, I know it hurts him that I don't want to go on adventures with him. He loves road trips and doing exciting things and I, his soon to be wife, won't do it with him.

You will conquer this- all those things you really want to do, one day you will. Don't give up hope, never give up trying.

I had exactly the same thing but with bladder fears. Things that I found incredibly hard (e.g. restaurants, transport, going to friends' houses, sometimes just sitting and reading a book) are now normal again. If I could get through it you can, and will, too.

For me, it was a combination of CBT, counselling, support of family and friends, medication, time and prayer which helped me. Best wishes x

[Paintedpixie2011]

I'm so relived to have found this thread!I had no idea until I just read this that my phobia was real. I thought I was abnormal!It's hard to live with it but until now I did not realise that I could get help for it!I was about 17 when I started to suffer from it and it never really goes away which is horrible it pretty much rules my life-I'm much better on my own but whenever I'm around other people it's alot worse especially when in cars or on public transport!It's good to know that you Guys have got support with it too.