Extremely anxious for next week and need HELP !

[MrsCluggy]

Hi Everyone,

I am so nervous and anxious I can hardly breath. I have to face a huge nemesis next week and I know that this challenge will either make me or break me.

I have to attend a training course for 5 days starting next Wednesday (5.4.05) and finishing the following Tuesday. It's an Adoption Training Course for myself and my husband. We both have to attend. If we don't complete the full course then we have to wait until our names are put on the next training session, which could be months away.

I am so anxious I could scream. It's only Sunday morning and I awoke at 3.00 a.m. this morning with the usual churning stomach, the rushing to the toilet. I am so sick and tired of this cycle of fear. I know that it's fear that I am frightened of. The feeling of being frightened on this course, so frightened that I have to leave during the day to rush home.

I find it really hard at the moment to be away from home for long periods and this course is from 9.30 a.m. - 4.30 p.m. I just don't know how I am going to manage. I know my husband will be with me and he knows that I am going to be extremely nervous and anxious and I think he is expecting me to have a panic attack either en route to the venue or whilst I am there. The trouble is, a lot is riding on us finishing this course and I feel so much pressure to not be ill and not to let the fear take over during the day.

The thing is with me, I cannot sit still for long periods of time doing nothing because that is when my thoughts take over. They rise and rise like Lego blocks until eventually they have to fall over and that's total panic for me. I need to remain active, I need something to do, and if I'm just sitting in this course just listening to someone talk, I find it so hard to concentrate on what they are saying because my mind wanders so much.

Avoidance in this situation is totally out of the question. I cannot cancel or not go. Part of me doesn't want to do that because then my fear and panic have won again. I feel that I should test myself with this, just to see how much I can actuallly do.

I have spoken to my GP about this and I have told him that I know that my Diazepam will be making an appearance on every single day of this course and he was fine with this but he doesn't want me to become reliant on these pills.

The sense of achievement that I will feel when and if I finish this course will be tremendous. I think I'll need to sleep for the rest of the week just through pure nervous exhaustion !

I really really want to do this but it's just so hard. I'm predicting what will happen and feeling every single symptom of my panic even before anything has happened.

I know that I need to stay focused and I need to concentrate and not make a total fool of myself. Anyone got any further suggestions. I really am open to anything.

I have just finished reading Claire Weekes Book Self Help for your Nerves and I have taken some of her suggestions on board, but the churning of the stomach and the running to the loo are still two major things that I have to conquer.

PLEASE HELP ANYONE. I CAN'T STOP CRYING.



If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.

[jackie]

hey you

you have been doing so well. dont leave the house next week without your claire weekes book, i am so glad you have it, it will be such a help when you are there

dont put pressure on yourself. you know what you have to do and hope fully you will achieve it this time around. but please remember these things cannot be rushed. take the tablet if you feel you must. what ever it takes to make you feel less afraid for now.

the churning stomach remains because it is that that you are most afraid of. try to use the claire weekes book to become lessa fraid of it. again no pressure and no deadline, recovery doesnt work that way

yuo will do it and you know you are not alone. you have good family and friends and you have us. just remember you are not alone in your illness and you never will be


were routing you on and well be here every day when you return home if you need us

take care

jackie

[Piglet]

You are doing what I do too and imagining a picture of yourself panicking and predicting the worst.

We both have to stop this terrible habit and replace it with pictures of you laughing and being interested and most of all coping!!!!

You will have hubby with you so that's brilliant.

You can do this and inside you really want to so don't let your head sabotage it for you. Your mind can't tell the difference between real and not real so it will react to the pictures and thoughts you are putting there. I know its hard but don't put the bad pictures there in the first place.

'Its only a thought and a thought can be changed'

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[a-little-room-to-breathe]

hey hun!
i know its hard, but when you're there, try to concentrate on what the speaker is saying, or just tell yourself 'its ok, i can do this, this is not a problem'. these high-pressure situations are awful when you have anxiety and panic attacks, but if you try not to let yourself panic, and dont put too much pressure on yourself to not panic, you'll be fine. tell yourself that even if you do panic, it is nothing to be ashamed of, and you can always excuse yourself and go to the bathroom to calm down or whatever you need.
hope that helped a bit.
love katie xxx

"If I can wipe from any human cheek, a tear,
Convince one man that hope and heaven are near,
Create more joy, more hope, less pain,
And though not one shall know my name nor drop a flower on my grave,
I shall not have lived in vain while here."

[MrsCluggy]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I don't know where I would be without this website.

I know that I am totally afraid of the churning feeling in my stomach. As soon as I feel it happening I just think "Oh no, here it comes", and that starts the cycle of panic. I am trying to do what Claire Weekes has suggested and just accept it for what it is, just a physical reaction, my nerve endings are just releasing adrenalin and my body is reacting to it. If I can just ignore it and carry on, it will eventually go away because I will not be so aware of it. It's easier said than done though isn't it. I've lived with this feeling for so long.

Confidence is also a huge issue for me .... as in I have none ! I'm also my own owrst enemy because I am a fanatical 'people watcher' and I often say to myself "I wonder if they are worried about anything and their stomach is doing somersaults like a washing machine"? They probably are. The course tutors on this course next week might be dreading it for all I know. They might have had the same weekend as I am having, worried about if the course will be okay. I know that once I get that first day over, I will be fine. Firsts of anything always make me so nervous and agitated.

I might take along some mints or sweets to chew as I go through the day. At least then I'll have something to occupy my thoughts!

I will catch up with you after every day of my course to let you know how I got on. I need all of the encouragement that I can get at the moment.

Thanks once again and I'll speak soon.

Best wishes and hugs to you all.

If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.

[Maura Brosnan]

hi there mrs cluggy,

You poor devil, can't imagine how worried you must be seeing as this such an important event. You can do this you really can. I spend every sunday dreading the week coming and of course it makes things even worse. A few tips maybe:

Bring your book on the way in the morning and read it to reassure you and distract you.

Keep remembering what the outcome of this great week will mean...a beautiful babs for you and hubby!

Keep a bottle of water and chewing gum with you all the time.

As soon as you feel the panic rising, tell it to become worse and worse and I bet you it won't because your taking the control away from it.

If that doesn't work put your valium straight under your tongue and let it disolve...it hits you blood stream and works straight away.

Log on here every night and tell us how each day went...I bet you'll surprise yourself because the day will have turned out alot better than you thought!

The very best of luck to you...take good care and keep us posted.

[inberlin]

hey there,

lots of luck this week! i am sorry that this course has come at such an inopportune time for you, but i am sure that you will make it...you have a lot of support, and you have the freedom to do just as much as you are able to do! i like to picture a rushing river and then i let the panic or fear thoughts enter the river and rush away from me, without judgment on yourself or thoughts or feelings...

take care, hope you can get some good relaxing in this evening!!

kelly

[MrsCluggy]

Nigel, are you small enough to fit into my pocket so that I can take you with me?!?!

What you have said really does make total and utter sense. I have been rehearsing the events on this course, down to what I am going to say to people, how I'm going to sit and compose myself. I'm trying to use my husband as an example. He is full of confidence, isn't bothered by this course for one moment, has no butterflies in his stomach. Quite annoying really!!! But you are right, I have absolutely no idea what this course is going to be like and who the people are.

Heaven forbid I should enjoy myself !!

I never have thoughts like: what's going to happen if I have a nice time, what if the course tutors really like me and we have a right laugh, how will I cope being so popular !!!!!

I like those thoughts. I need to train my brain to turn it's "what if" switch off, or to at least answer itself with "so what".

So what if I'm nervous, I bet I'm not the only one.
So what if I feel slightly anxious at having to do a task, I bet the other people are too.

It really is not big deal is it. I am slowly coming to realise that now.

I know alcohol is not the answer, but they are treating us to a pub lunch every day, so I can imagine myself being a bit more talkative and relaxed during the afternoon sessions !!!!

I also know that once this course is over and I have completed it successfully, I will think about going back to work, perhaps part time. At the moment I am a housewife, but my son is at school full time now, so getting used to being out of the house for 7+ hours a day may just be the tonic/confidence booster I need to get me back on track.

I will definitely let you know how I got on.

Thank you once again for your lovely message. I will definitely take your words with me.

[8D]

If the opportunity doesn't knock .... build a door.

[May Day]

Hi Mrs Cluggy

Well done for being so much more positive in your last post ... what Nigel has said on many points makes total sense particularly about making small towers ... face each part of the day as a separate thing to get through ... once you have succeeded in getting through one part ok give yourself a small pat on the back and say how well you've done to get through it and that it wasn't that bad after all ... then move on to the next part with a positive mind and you'll soon see how quick the day will go

You said that you like to be busy and might find it hard to concentrate on the speaker for long periods of time ... i suggest you take paper and pen and make notes so that your hands are busy along with your mind

I recently went on a training course with 1000 other people ... my stomach was churning and i really didn't want to be there but once the day got under way i realised that i was having a good time and when it ended i wished it had been longer

Good luck and let us know how you get on

May



The brightest, sunniest day may follow the darkest, stormiest night ... enjoy the sun

[EebyJeeby]

Hi Mrs Cluggy,

I too went on a course recently and was dreading it. My stomach was knotted most of the time, but y'know, it didn't actually make any difference to how I performed and what I learned. It was just a feeling, same as if I'd had a bit of a headache or a bruised knee. To be fair, I think the others also felt nervous and there were parts that involved role-playing - something which I don't like at the best of times, so would have been anxious anyway! The motivation was that I really wanted the qualification and I also wanted to test myself.

I distinctly remember that on the afternoon of Day 2, I sat there doing another role-play thinking "I'm doing this and I am actually enjoying it now - yay!". I did it, I got the qualification and I'm looking to do another course soon!

Go for it girl, you'll be fine!

Eeb x