8 weeks on cit but no let up

[tash1969]

Hi,
My other half was given cit 8 weeks ago and although i think he is bit better he doesn't think so? at the start of it he looked like something out of the fifth element and now at least he looks a bit more human he still however is really suffering with tiredness!!?? i know depression can make you tired and side effect of cit can too but it's because of this that he is thinking of not taking them anymore he said at least before he was functioning which i have informed him he wasn't, but thats depression i guess he still has the runs too and spends alot of time on toilet he has also lost weight.
He still seems detached also which is very hard to deal with he seems emotionless if i get upset he just walks off he cant deal with it i am beig as supportive as i can but he seems oblivious to it so what i am asking is all this 'NORMAL' when been on cit this long??

[scottishcantona]

tash the simple answer here is by the sounds of it he's not been on the cit long enough and he should go back to the dr explain how he feels and see if he actually needs to up the dose. Check the citalopram guide and stick with it but go to the drs you do not want to just discontinue this treatment x

[tash1969]

but wont an increase in cit make him worse? he has been back to review and Dr said didnt wanna change anything at mo the tiredness is killing him but i think increase will make him worse! ive read the guide and have exchanged messages with poet it's all just so frustrating xx

[sparky68]

Tash when does he take them ?
i tried before i go to bed and find im quite hyper during the day and not tired at all till late at night,
im trying them in the morning now and find im fine till about 9pm then just cant stay awake any longer.
So im going to go back to taking them at night because im not exhausted by 9pm that way.
Maybe hes not sleeping well thats make me feel like the way he is now, get him to try taking them before he goes to bed ?
hth's
Mark

[NoPoet]

Hi, this actually sounds normal to me. It takes a while to adapt to the cit's effects on your body. As someone once told me when I first went on cit, they aren't smarties!

The detachment is probably due to his body and mind being over-tired, which is also making his situation seem worse to him than it does to everyone else. He can only see things through a haze of tiredness and depression, which is not a healthy viewpoint and therefore things will not look hopeful to him at this point. People in that situation are emotionally exhausted so they lose their natural ability to "bounce back" and cope with difficult situations.

You should also take into account the fear he is feeling, that he no longer recognises himself or the world. He has had a breakdown, and it will take time for him to get re-started, but if he persists with treatment (not just medication but therapy as well) he should start seeing an improvement.

If you are already noticing a difference in him, the medication is helping, it just might be a dose that's too high for him. He could speak to his doctor about reducing the dose for a short while. This should definitely make an improvement to his tiredness, but the antidepressant effects may be reduced.

Remember always that he is GOING to feel exhausted all or most of the time until his recovery really kicks in.

[tash1969]

thanks mark and adam for your response,
mark he takes them in morning but he works 4 on 4 off nights!!! so no good time for him really i was talking to someone in chat this morning and they seem to think he might need 30mg instead of 20mg?
he does seem to me to be slightly better but i want more than anything for him to feel better he is missing so much with the kids and to be honest i am finding it harder and harder to be just 'friends' instead of supportive partner some days i just wanna say iv'e had enough shove your depression where the sun dont shine but those are the days i choose to say nothing i know it's not his fault but it's hard when it looks like him walks like him but it's not him he was the most loving tactile kind person i knew now he cant even do eye contact, it's hard and frustrating for him but the same has to be said for me i have a flat to run and 2 small kids to look after all the time smiling and carrying on while inside i am dying i cant wait to get them in bed so i can cry without feeling guilty while he's living with his mum not dealing with anything including his depression x

[sparky68]

i really feel for you Tash i know just what your going thru, my wife has suffered from major depression for 18yrs and we have been thru some very very difficult times i also work nights and she pretty much had to bring our 3 kids up with me not there and no family support.
I have had to come rushing home before because one of the kids has phoned work crying and when ive got home their all sat upstairs crying because mummy has trashed the house and has been outside screaming at the neighbours, bad times :(
Please i know its hard but stick with him he will come out of it when he finds the right dose or diff meds,
i know its hard to understand but when you feel like he is you dont want help, well i didnt its a weird place to be you know your not well but you actually want to stay like it.

kind regards
Mark

[tash1969]

thanks mark sounds like you've beeen dealing with alot for a long time,
our baby was born prem (4months) and has been a constant source of stress for nearly 3 yrs but we are seeing the light now and i think thats what triggered the breakdown it is wll known when parents of sick kids get better the parents go downhill and he did he was so so strong for all of us for so long he just broke.
I have done more than most partners would have im not blowing my own horn but most would have walked even though he has told me he cant come back because of the damage he has done!! to him it's over although he says he loves me he is doing what is right?? to him it's the right thing to do do to me it's ridiculous.
so as you see im am going through a breakup and having to be nice to the person who dumped me!! which never happens you have to be horrid and angry to get you over it. but he isnt going through a breakup because his emotions are supressed!!!????? this is the part of depression i DO NOT understand i just hope when and if he does get better he remembers how much he loved me and wants to come home xx

[sparky68]

Tash to me it sounds like a cry for help from him, he is in a very dark place at the moment and pushing loved ones away is generally from my experience is the total opposite from what they actually want, im sure he doesn't want to break up at all its a horrible big hole to be in and all he wants is to be cared for and shown you love and want to support him and reassurance that you still want to be with him, hes feeling very worthless now thinking he is of no use to anyone, as Adam says i think he should go up a dose to pull him thru this bad patch ?

take care Tash x