I need anxiety help

[streakyme]

Hi all,

I have very severe anxiety. I don't relax at home and worry constantly that I will here my neighbours making noise. They can make the smallest noise and it sets me off, stomache pains, depressed, heavy feelings, bad thoughts that it will all escalate and end in violence. When I am in my home I have to make my own noise or wear earphones to stop hearing others. But in fact they are not noisy at all, its a terraced house so you will always hear neighbours. They don't play music or anything like that but if they all laugh at once I will hear them and feel awful.
THis also happens on trains and aeroplanes, I feel nervous that it will get noisy and stress me and the thoughts lead to violence (in my head not real life).
This is affecting me real bad and I am now in a B&B, leaving my partner in the house. She is being understanding but for how long? The B&B is even noisier!!!! But as its only me I feel less less stress than before.

I can't take meds because I am a train driver and am waiting for therapy from GP (6 months to go)...am seeking private CBT, had a few sessions but not much pro-active stuff going on.

I need help with being able to relax and also stopping the bad thoughts and help to stop seeing everything as a potential threat that will lead to violence. Being way from my partner helps short term but won't make the reltionship very healthy!

I feel very helpless, useless and down. I exercise and keep a thought diary but feel its going to be a long road to being normal.

Regards Tony

[nuttymoo]

Hi Tony
If you go into the shop there are free information leaflets for you to download. The one about anger I could really relate to. Know exactly what you mean, have paced the floor plotting revenge on neighbours I thought had hurt me in some way. I have osteopenia, so my bones break easy, but I've planned to climb on their roof and rip the tiles off. I love animals and haven't eaten meat for years but I've thought about giving their dog exlax chocolate in the hope it would crap on their carpet. Anger is horrible and self destructive but at least like me you can recognise it and are trying to do something about it.