Hi All,
I've had my appointment with my therapist this morning. I was feeling more scared this time because I was nervous and was unable to eat as much as usual for breakfast. So I felt hungry, when I'm hungry I feel shaky, weaker and find it harder to fight off the symptoms usually.
But despite this I met my therapist outside my house and she drove me to the clinic. She's working on getting me to have appointments there with a psycologist. At our last appointment a fortnight ago I was able to sit outside the clinic with the car door open and swing my legs round. Today my therapist wanted me to stand outside. She asked if I wanted her to come out with me as I usually did and I said no this time. So I stood outside and also she said about walking towards a tree in front of us and I did that too. She was happy with me for doing it and because I did it without her getting out with me.
After that we sat in the car and let my anxiety go down and we talked a bit, then drove back and parked outside my local shop. Last appointment I walked to the railings but this time she suggested I walk down a couple of steps. As there are some steps leading down to the shop. So I had a go on my own and then my confidence went a bit because there was a delivery man coming to the shop and also some other people so I went back to the car and waited until it was a bit quieter.
She asked me to try again and this time she came with me and I thought I'd be just going down a few of the steps but I got to the bottom. There are about 7 of the steps. So I was very nearly at the shop, I was so near the door. She asked me to go in, but I felt I'd done enough today and didn't feel able to manage that this time. But she said she was impressed with me and that i'd done alot today.
It also suprised me that I was hardly anxious at all on the drive to the clinic.
Take Care,
Heather
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