Well just thought i would give you a little more of my news.

Since I started counselling and coming on this site I am able to walk about 7-10 mins from home and work. These are my safety places. The other day I went for my daily walk from work at lunch time and I did not take my phone and I did it. i walked home from drs yesterday been for a meal took my son into town for an hour, been for two back head and shoulder massages been for a coffee in town on my own in my lunch hour and been to the dentist yesterday and was there for at least 45 mins due to waiting and having treatment. I went to town today and my other half left me for 5 mins on my own and I did not panic.

Yesterday my counsellor took me to a garden centre for a coffee and then she told me she was going to leave me on my own in cafe while she went for a look round. She asked me if i would rather go for a walk round but I knew i could cope with that and what i dont like is people leaving me on my own out of my safety zones. anyway she went and for the first 5 mins i was ok as i kept telling myself she would be coming back and then i thought what if she had left me and i could feel my throat going funny and starting to feel panicky. anyway i talked myself out of it and i was ok. She came back after 10 mins and was proud of me, and i was proud of myself.

She said i am coping really well with the things she is giving me so next time she is going to think of something harder for us to try as we both think i need to have a panic and learn how to deal with it and i think this is true also. I think she is on about going on a train or bus or arranging to meet me at a place and be late but she will give me phone contact with her and not be too far away if i feel anxious. She also said I have to move away from my safety zones and i should feel safe wherever I am as you should feel safe in yourself.

She also told me to just do the things she has asked me to do and loads extra as i may have a major set back and lose my confidence of what i can do now So i have to do as i'm told.

I asked her if i had agoraphobia and she said she thought not, she thinks i have chronic anxiety. The being left bit is apparently due to earlier childhood.

anyway im going on but thanks for reading

Winners never Quit and Quitters never Win

Love

Bobsy