Alcohol/anxiety/panic attacks

[mum83]

Hi guys,
I've been trying to piece together how I went from being a general worrier to being someone who felt I needed a doctor's help and medication to sort me out. All this started happening last month. I started getting what I call waves of adrenalin at night and couldn't stop myself from worrying. Had some sleepless nights and my GP wanted me to try Citalopram 20mg. The next day I was a wreck and experienced my first REAL panic attack and it was insane. Really thought I was losing my mind. Took me 3 days to come down from those awful feelings. Still wasn't right afterwards and was waking up at odd hours of the morning with mini panic attacks and then went a 4 day stretch with no sleep, and feeling anxious all day. This time my gp started me on mirtazipine which is working, thank god. I was in such a scary place and am starting to feel like some kind of normal now.

The thing though is this....this might sound ridiculous but I never thought of myself as an alcoholic but when I think back to last month, my husband and I were drinking every weekend, sometimes mid week too and we would mix a bottle of snapps with maybe a half bottle of vodka every time. (We've done this more on than off for a couple yrs.) We were always able to function the next morning because of our children and we never got so "smashed" that we couldn't cope with things but we got into a habit of drinking to ease the stress of daily life, husband's health scares, my mother moving away, etc. Now I'm wondering if the alcohol was giving me a warning with those panic attacks. Maybe even causing them. I have not had a drink in 2 weeks. I don't want to EVER AGAIN. I am feeling better on my nightly dose of mirt. (though groggy but that is a side effect) but my question is.....Will my body eventually go back to normal if I keep avoiding alcohol? Will the panic attacks and anxiety go away in the end too? Basically I want to know if my body (my mind) will repair itself? Has anyone else gone through this?

[Belleblue]

Hi mum83 and welcome - It's odd isn't it how you turn around one day and ask yourself that question. But you know it really doesn't matter how you got to be like that, it just matters that you are trying to do something about it. When you're in a better place mentally you'll no doubt be able to trace what went wrong and why. For now just concentrate on trying to get better.

I take Mirtazapine too and there are some good, informative and helpful threads running regarding this med. May I ask what dose you are taking?

Take care now.

Belle x

[mum83]

Hi Belle.
Thank you for your words. I just need to concentrate on getting better now don't I. To answer your question about Mirtazipine, I am on 7.5 mg a night. A couple months back the dr. tried me on 30mg but I did not like how depersonalized and disconnected I felt. (And have since learned that's way too high a dose to start with and will not be seeing that dr. again!!) Then last week an out of hours doctor prescribed me 15mg and I had one night of good sleep (12 hrs) but really wanted to talk it over with a doctor I trust and HE told me to try half that dose and see how I get on with it, because I don't want to be sleeping 12 hrs. every night. I've got children to look after. So I'm on 7.5 and I have to say it has helped with anxiety during the day (I don't get those terrible WAVES of adrenalin anymore) and I'm sleeping pretty well. But each night I do wake at least once, usually after dreaming a strange dream but I don't have much trouble getting back to sleep. It's such a crazy feeling--at first I was SOOOO SCARED to even try these, but now I'm SO SCARED that what if these stop working---and then the cycle of medication dosage ups and downs, withdrawls, new meds......there is so much I'm frightened of. I just want to be the old me again. I look forward to your reply (sorry, I know this is a bit all over the place!!) because it's nice to talk to someone on the same med as me.