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  #11  
Old 07-07-13, 10:42
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Pipkin Pipkin is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Steven,

Having thought about your situation a little more this morning, I can't imagine how hard it's been for you. You must have been terrified going through all that. I have no idea what I'd have done - certainly not as well as you.

I was also thinking about your dad. I'm not saying he did the right thing but it must be heartbreaking to see your child in so much pain and harming themselves. He must have been scared that you would do serious harm to yourself and I guess he just did the only thing he could think of to protect you. Someone who didn't care would just have left you alone.

See this as the lowest point from which you're going to start to recover. Try to use the time to plan your next few weeks. When you get home, take small steps towards getting some structure back into your life. A positive routine really helps, even if it's just getting up for a few hours a day, having a shower and getting dressed. If you want to chat, arrange to meet someone, either one of your local friends or a friend here in the chat room.

I know it sounds simple and I also know that it's not. I'm not pretending it will be an easy journey but you're at the start and I'd love it if you caught up with me who can see the finish line albeit up a 100ft cliff and I've lost my climbing gear. It's easier if a few of us tackle the climb together.

Take care

Pip xx
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  #12  
Old 07-07-13, 15:10
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steveo steveo is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Thankyou all so much for your messages of support. You have no idea how much it meant to log back in here and see all your replies. You have all been so wonderful to me.

I just got my laptop back from the nurses office as I'm not allowed a charger in my room.

I am very very angry with my dad but I must say in his defence, he has done nothing but try his best to look after me since this all flared up again and took me into his home and fed me and cleaned for me. He's 71 years old and has heart problems himself. I think as Pip quite rightly said, it was probably just heartbreaking to see me cutting myself and lying in bed all day. My cuts are very light but they do probably look very nasty. Infact I've seen a woman in here with what seem to be cigarette burns on the back of her hand that it made me rather shocked, until I looked down at both my hands and arms which are covered in cuts.

The recent events had to happen the way they did unfortunately. I was arrested for breach of the peace purely because they can't section me in a non public place. The charge was dropped as soon as I was at the police station which then turned into the section. I have no criminal record from all of this. I was placed in a cell because I was deemed to not be safe to myself and there were no beds in the entire country available. I had a team of bed managers working constantly to try and get me a place.

That's not to say that the police experience was the most frightening thing in my entire life. Even when I was at my peak mental health, being put in a cell was such a fear of mine. I remember when I was 11, I was very foolishly caught stealing a mars bar from a local corner shop. The shop owner knew my parents and they arranged that the police come and chat to me, not to press charges but to show me what happens to criminals. They showed me a police cell and I absolutely screamed. Needless to say, I've never committed any sort of crime since.

During my time in the cell, my mind rushed back to a psychology lesson I had during my nursing training. He asked a few of us our biggest fears. Someone said 'being buried alive'. I very much related to that! The lecturer asked the student what they would do if they were buried alive. The student replied 'panic!'. The lectured said 'how long for?'. The student said 'until I'm out!'. The lecturer explained how that was impossible and our bodies simply can't produce the panic state for very long. I never really believed it until being put in the cell. Surprisingly there were moments where I was slightly more 'comfortable'. Maybe it was just the large amounts of valium I was taking.

At the moment, I don't know how long I'm in here for and what sort of treatment or help I will be getting. So far, with it being a weekend, I've had little to no contact from anyone. Just twice a day to receive my meds and be told that it's lunch time. Apparently I need to wait until tomorrow or tuesday for the ward round.

I don't want to go back home and I don't think my dad wants me back home until I'm better. He doesn't want me back home if I'm like I was which makes me rather homeless at the moment. I have no where else to live. I haven't worked this year due to my mental health and only have 1500 to my name in savings.

I have no other members of family I can live with. I guess that will all be discussed with the GP's. For now, I supposed I am happy enough to be here. I get lots of meals, there are a few lounges and an enclosed garden area and I've just been handed an Ice Cream.
All the staff have been really nice and I have 24 hour care.

I have just been in my room with the curtains drawn though, just like at home. I have been encouraged to go out with the others for my meal times which I've done but very quickly and uncomfortably.

It can be very noisy here. The patient in the room opposite mine has OCD and opens and closes his door 20 times before he walks in or out of his room, which is does alot. There are lots of alarms going off and you can hear the staff coming from miles away with their collection of keys and heavy fast walking.

I think the ward below deals with slightly more serious mental health problems. For 60% of the time I can hear very severe male screaming coming from below.

I'm fairly comfortable and as content as I was at home but with the safety net of knowing that I only need to press a button and a nurse will be in my room with diazepam or just to comfort me in seconds. I guess this is the place I need to be. I can't carry on a life of lying in bed all day anxious, feeling the need to cut myself and have suicidal thoughts. I just hope all this isn't a waste of time and I'm sent home as soon as I'm not deemed suicidal, especially as I no longer have a home.

Thanks again for all your support.

Steven x
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  #13  
Old 07-07-13, 15:55
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Spot-the-frog Spot-the-frog is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Hi Steven

I can't believe how well you have coped with a very traumatic ordeal, I felt really upset for you reading your account.

I sincerely hope that you now get the right kind of help that you deserve. I think being where you are now will allow you some space, give your Dad a break and hopefully some sort of structure to your day. Hang on in there, you are doing great x
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  #14  
Old 07-07-13, 18:32
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nicola1980 nicola1980 is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Hi Steve, i think you've coped amazingly with everything that you've been through, Im thinking of you, stay strong x x
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  #15  
Old 07-07-13, 20:12
Andrea2607 Andrea2607 is offline
 
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Hi Steven,

So sorry to hear of your ordeal. I can totally relate to how terrified you were of the police. I was handcuffed and taken away by the police last year as I was found in the street in a confused state, I do not remember much about it but do remember the handcuffs and being put in the back of a police van. Luckly for me I only spent a short time at the police station and was not put in a cell but taken straight to a psychiactric hospital. I was sectioned for 28 days and remained there for two and a half months. I got the therapy I needed in there as well as being put on meds and when I was finally released I found the after-care fantastic.

I do really hope that you are doing well and please try not to be scared as you are not alone. You are in the right place and I really hope you get the help you need.

Keep strong
Andrea x
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  #16  
Old 07-07-13, 21:50
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SarahH SarahH is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Steve,

I dont know you and you dont know me but I am sending you my best wishes. I was in a psch unit in March this year and it is at first a scary place. But I knew that I needed to be there to get treatment and diagnosis. Talk to the staff as much as you can and tell them all your fears and worries and they will reassure you and help you to be diagnosed and get the right treatment.

Take care Sarah
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  #17  
Old 07-07-13, 22:36
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AuntieMoosie AuntieMoosie is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Steve just try and use the time that you have in hospital to really move you forward.

I know it's hard, been there myself, but do try to follow the advice of the nurses and doctors.

I know you're preferring to stay in your room, but try and just come out and chat with some of the other patients just a little.

When I've been in hospital, I found it more helpful and supportive to chat to the the other patients than I did the staff, you're all going to be sharing similar symptoms, thoughts and feelings and it's comforting to know that you're not alone.

Try to slowly and gradually get yourself a little bit involved in what is going on around you, join in the occupational therapy and everything else that is going, I hated doing that at first, could only stay in the room for about 10 minutes, but it got easier, and I started to find it helpful.

I know you feel safer in your room with your curtains pulled closed, but it's not a really positive thing to be doing, make a compromise with yourself, maybe open the curtains until lunch time, then try and extend it a little at a time.

I'm dreadfully sorry about the mayhem at the police station. This is really no way to be treating mental health patients at all.

I've just joined a panel for our local mental health service where I live. On a survey that they asked me to fill in and put my opinions on. One of the things that I highlighted was that patients that have to be sectioned and taken in as emergencies, need to be and should be, handled with the utmost care and in a gentle and calm manner.

The only time that the police should need to be involved is if the patient is a danger to others, failing that, it should be only mental health staff and social workers involved.

I'm sure that the police could really do without it too to be honest. It puts them under extreme pressure for staffing levels if they are having to look after mental health patients who are in their cells, it's just not a place that any mental health patent needs to be.

The fact that this all took place just made your admission to hospital a pretty traumatic experience, placing you under even more stress and anxiety, in my opinion, that could have all been easily avoided.

I recommended on my form, that mental health patients should be taken straight to the local mental health unit. Of course I completely understand that beds may not be available, but how about having a holding lounge where patients can be comfortable while waiting to be assessed or waiting for beds, surly that could be arranged and shouldn't need to be too expensive either, thus making it easier on the patient, the staff and the police.

When you are better Steve, perhaps you should make your feelings known about your sectioning, how it made you feel and what they could do to improve it.

I wish you all the best in your recovery
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  #18  
Old 08-07-13, 17:14
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steveo steveo is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Thankyou all again for your wonderful comments of support.

I just thought I would give you a quick update.

I saw my doctor today. Very nice man. The plan in place is to temporarily stop reducing my diazepam and increase my Escitalopram from 10mg (which I've been taking for nearly 4 months now) to 20mg. That's quite a big jump in my eyes as that's the equivalent of jumping from 20-40mg Citalopram as that's the equivalent dose.

I suppose I'm in the right place to do this and I have 24/7 support and plenty of benzos if I need them. I think the next couple of weeks is going to be rather nasty for me as I make this increase dose but I will try to keep my faculties and remain as calm as possible. I have constant daily monitoring which is something I wouldn't have been able to get at home.

The last 24 hours have been very lively here. Lots of alarms going off and people shouting and screaming. One girl in particular is very aggressive today. I've had my bloods done and an ECG.

Also rather embarrassingly, my nurse who woke me up this morning was a girl I used to work with in a supermarket many years back! She came in and asked if I was OK with her being there which was nice of her. I forget how small Cornwall is but as someone on here pointed out to me today, it's not as bad as seeing someone you know in a sexual health clinic.

So I'm here for quite a few weeks it seems as I'm monitored with my dosage increase. Failing that I will have to try another medication. For now, I have nowhere else to go and nothing else to be doing so I have no qualms about being in here. I just wish I could have my mobile phone lead and laptop charger in my room, as well as some earplugs at night for when it kicks off.

Thank you again for everyones support and kind words. I don't think you realise how much it means to me. I haven't had any contact from any members of my family since I was arrested although my friends have been good as gold but I have to downplay my problems to them. I just try to brush it off as a 'bit of depression and a few panic attacks'. It's lovely to be able to talk about my problems and treatments on here because I know that you all understand exactly what I'm going through.

So from the bottom of my damaged heart, Thankyou.

Steven xxx
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  #19  
Old 08-07-13, 17:20
jayjoe18 jayjoe18 is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

So sorry to hear you've had such a traumatic experience Steven, I can't believe they would lock you up in cell, you have mental ILLNESS, the clue is in illness! I appreciate there wasn't any beds but surely they should have other things in place and not just keep you locked up like that! Wow. I hope things start to improve for you now and you get the help that you need. You have done really well coping under the circumstances.

Good luck and stay strong x
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  #20  
Old 08-07-13, 17:31
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nicola1980 nicola1980 is offline
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Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

Good luck with the increase hun, have been thinking of you and looking for an update from you all day, keep your positive attitude hun and you'll be better in no time x x
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