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Old 30-01-09, 11:09
dubbles dubbles is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1
Not afraid to go out but afraid to go out alone

Hi everyone..This is the first time I have posted on here.
I started getting panic attacks years ago, and saw doctors and counsellors etc,and although now my panic disorder is not half as bad as it used to be. (I couldnt go in a shop, or queue, or travel on public transport), I now cant seem to go anywhere alone..not even the corner shop! If someone is with me I am the most confident person ever, and can do anything I need to do. Even travelled to Australia. If I have to deal with officialdom such as banks, insurance firms etc then its me who does all the sorting out-providing someone is with me..but when I am alone I cant even do the simplest things. Its like I need someone elses confidence as i have none of my own.
I occasionally take the dog out alone for 5 minutes but am relieved to get back home, but when I have someone with me we can walk for miles.
I would love to be able to work, but I couldnt get there! It sounds so lame but I am terrified at the thought of going alone to buy a pint of milk at the corner shop, and always make sure we get everything when my husband is with me. I want to get over this so much as I feel its gone on for too long.I seem to cope well with a crisis but when the crisis is over thats when i go downhill.
From being a child I was always told not to make a fuss outside and draw attention to myself "showing us up" and was always shy. Consequently I never liked being the centre of attention and still dont. Always felt like people were looking at me and talking about me, and hated confrontation of all sorts.I have been divorced twice, lost a sister and a daughter and I am on 10mg citalopram. I worked full time in the Civil service until I had my children, and then worked part time in a supermarket. Now Id love to work and contribute but the thought of walking to the end of the street alone fills me with horror so I wouldnt know how to get to work. I want to be normal!The only thing I am thankful for is that my children are outgoing and mix well with others and dont seem to be like their Mum!
Thankyou for listening.
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  #2  
Old 30-01-09, 17:57
Anxious_gal Anxious_gal is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,775
Re: Not afraid to go out but afraid to go out alone

I'm pretty good at going out with people, i still get anxious on trains, planes or crowded places.
but when I'm with people I feel safe and pretty calm.
it's the going anywhere alone that cause's me the most anxiety.
that's why i call it mild agoraphobia.
i could almost have an anxiety free life if i was never left alone!
it also makes it easy to hide my anxiety as I tend to get the worst anxiety when I'm all alone!
so i can easily fool myself into thinking I'm ok, Ive done it for years!
they only way to fix it is to start going out on your own, even if its only a short walk, do it over and over until you can do it without even thinking about it.
I'm not too bad with walking around my town but I'd never get on a bus or train alone unless I was meeting someone at the other end.
wow I'd love to go to Australia! Ive only ever been on a 3 hour flight and that was torture!
do you see a therapist? it may help,
i see one i find it does help to have someone else to talk to and motivate me
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Old 31-01-09, 23:10
andrea_eyre andrea_eyre is offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 7
Re: Not afraid to go out but afraid to go out alone

hi dubbles my name is andrea i too can not go out on my own my husband has to be with me are i take one of my children with me i never take a bus i wont even get a taxi on my own so i no how you are feeling my kids are outgoing too iam so gland they are not like me i carnt be where a lot of people are as i start to panic i wish i be better as it puts a hold on your life there are loads of things i want to de but carnt i just wanted you to no your not a lone iam here if you want to chat andrea xx
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