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  #11  
Old 25-05-09, 12:10
seemann seemann is offline
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 6
Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

hi poppyc, i think it is natural in this condition....even i have had similar experiences. I stay away from my family and i feel good. I rarely call them and sometimes i call them once in a month.I dont feel like talking to family, friends and some times even my girl friend...i thought i was the only one like this..but now i know better..i have friends who want to meet me as often as possible but i dont feel like meeting them and i have avoided them many times..
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  #12  
Old 25-05-09, 13:03
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Thumbelina Thumbelina is offline
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Posts: 762
Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

I want to say that I also feel at times that I am pushing away people and dont let then get too close - though I genuenly believe that IT ONLY BECAUSE OF MY CONDITION AND BECAUSE I WAS HURT, but not because i feel different. I do not want to be too much different.
Being too much different presume that you are deviant. I want to be a normal and good citizen (as my son says).
I recommend you to reconsider your views on this issue as even coming on this forum means that you want to be around people, only you are more selective now after you been on the other side of happieness.

Please do not rule out that people that approach you can have only good intentions and that they will only make you feel better.

Take care
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  #13  
Old 25-05-09, 21:03
Orange Orange is offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 10
Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

I am so so glad that you've posted this thread Poppy!
I've always felt like this and it worries me all the time that I'm strange and I don't always know why I do it, just when people get too close to me I push them right away and if I think that they are finding too much out about me and will class me as weird or crazy then I just back right away and don't answer phone calls or texts or things.
Ok, so that was a bit too much waffle, sorry, having a bit of an all-over-the-place day today...
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  #14  
Old 02-06-09, 01:04
Str33tb0y Str33tb0y is offline
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Posts: 79
Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyC View Post
Hi
Has anyone ever felt like they dont want people close to them in their life?
People try to get friendly with me, but I keep them at arms length. I have been like this for a long time. I have had a lot of friends and was always sociable and outgoing and I do make friends easily but I don't want them getting close to me. I have pushed so many friends away by just cutting contact with them.
I always feel 'different' to other people.
I am always friendly with people and chat but thats as far as I want it to go...
I am quite happy with just a few people in my life. Does anyone think this is odd? I am sure my partner suspects this, but I have explained to him, that I am often at my happiest when I am on my own.
I cant be doing with people and I find a lot of people are uncaring and selfish - well ones I have met anyway! . I think there are very few genuinely nice caring people in the world it seems...I just like time spent keeping myself occupied with the things that I love doing, including reading, and all the other things plus being with my pets. I am the same with my family too. I find my family has a very negative impact on me due to all their problems and so I stay away plus they too are not ones for meeting up.
Do I sound really odd??? lol
Ive done this a lot, and its made me end up with only two real friends. I get so anxious with friends as I had a few so called friends really sh1t on me from a great height which has made me even more anxious about making friends with people.

Where have you been by the way I hope your ok?
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  #15  
Old 04-06-09, 10:18
goingmadder goingmadder is offline
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Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

Great thread,

Learning so much about myself and my past its untrue...

I remember saying to someone many moons ago about the time my anxiety first started (although i didnt know back then thats what it was) that I always made it a point to know about those around me but would never devulge info about myself... I was like a detective, i would people watch... learn about the people in my college class, talk to them but mostly listen, I was like the invisible girl, people would know what I needed them to know but i would know who everyone was, where they went, what kind of charcters they were, how much of a threat they were... I've always been very selective like that never really wondered why...

Also I've always been a scanner...Whenever I went out with my friends, we were a group of 4-6 girls I always felt like the protector, I would walk in first then as the rest walked in and towards seats or the bar I would scan the entire venue for any faces that looked like they might cause trouble of any kind or be a threat to any of "my girls".... Even when we've been out with "the guys" I've always done the scanning... I beace very good at it picking up on facial expressions body language, tone, and I'd warn the group keep an eye on so or so or stay away from that corner its gonna kick off and 9 out of 10 times I'd be right...

I'l have to look within to see if im still doing things like this... I'm so used to it I just assume "its just the way I am" but im learning so much im starting to realise there are so many elements to my OCD and anxiety that need to be addressed.

Big hugs all xx
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  #16  
Old 04-06-09, 20:53
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coulson1 coulson1 is offline
 
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Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

I feel the same too....x
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  #17  
Old 05-06-09, 09:43
Terry12345 Terry12345 is offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 21
Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

My son is 20,

He sounds very like you. He is in Uni. and I'm not just saying it because I'm his mum but he is a six foot tall dark haired extremely good looking guy. Yet, his self esteem is so low. He seems so immature. At times I feel so sorry for him, that he is missing out on so much in life. He goes to Uni but yet never seems to want to develop any friendship with anyone, this was the same in school. Don't get me wrong if you met him you would think one to one, he was so different but yet in a crowd he doesn't seem to be able to mix at all. His father is quite the opposite to me and does not show feelings easily and I think that is this that has effected how my children are. He seems happy in himself and gets on well with my daughters friends but it's like he becomes another person when he leaves our own home area environment. How you help I just don't know, I wish someone knew..
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  #18  
Old 05-06-09, 14:45
eternally optimistic eternally optimistic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 929
Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

Hi Poppy

Your situation sounds just like me.

Most people I know, both friends, family and work colleagues would see me as quite outgoing and sociable. I suppose I am, BUT, I do have an issue with people is some strange way.

I like doing things on my own and sometimes think I am very strange not having friends. I know lots of people and would walk down the road and see people to talk to but am uncomfortable, in some respects, with it going any further. I am better than I was, mainly because I am more sure of who I am, I think.

I can totally relate to what you say and I think it is actually very normal.

We cant all be the same and we would be very boring if we were.

You are definitely not odd - just your own person, doing what is right for you.

Take care.
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