[Rom]

Ive always had difficulties in social situations i both dread and enjoy them at the same time very confusing i know.I get very anxious and inner conscious of myself.I find myself embarrassed severally over swallowing issues mainly finding the right moment to swallow and not having to pause in a conversation thus being embarrassed.Is that just me or does anyone else have that problem ?


What i don't understand is if social anxiety is anxiety other social situations and Aspergers is in some ways similar how can i tell which one ive got ?

[lc2613]

i left school at 14 due to classes being split and not adjusting to the change have had many problems phychologically since young ranging from clinical depression ocd and extreame anxiety and have always felt as though i have thought differently from others i have a few close friends but socially a nightmare can't do eye contact. i could go for a job interview and be brilliant but when it came to the job and lunch i would go and sit on my own and end up leaving the job because i think people think im ignorant. since my eldest son has been diagnosed with autism it has had me looking at my history and there are so many similarities between aspergers autism social and general anxiety and mental conditions i am surprised there has not been a study on it. i would talk to your doctor about your concerns and if you do get an answer please message me as i would be very interested to know the outcome. sorry i can't be of any help but good luck. x

[JohnLuke300]

Hi ROM,

I have social phobia and I mentor a young lad with Aspergers. I have found that when I explain to people what Social Phobia is they often confuse it with Autism. This is understandable because the autistic often have difficulties with socializing. But from what I have read and observed, although there are similarities between the two conditions, there are many striking differences. I use an example that I have observed, the young lad I mentor will often become very difficult if asked to get involved with certain social situations and will often make a scene. He pays little attention to how people might perceive his actions and little thought after. This is in direct conflict to how the socially anxious would act in a similar situation. Social anxiety is a fear of how we are perceived in social situations, to cause a scene and attract attention to ourselves would be what we fear the most. The autistic will often become argumentative or difficult in social situations the socially anxious will rarely do this. The reason is anxiety, people rarely become argumentative or difficult when they are scared. Anger and anxiety are incompatible emotions, it is difficult to experience both simultaneously. The socially anxious usually come across as passive or timid in these situations. With social anxiety the avoidance is much more subtle and far less obvious. If I look at your situation with the swallowing, it has all the characteristics of a specific social phobia. You feel that people might observe the act of swallowing and that will cause you to become embarrassed. To be oversensitive and overly aware of an act in a social situation is a common trait of social anxiety. You express two the act of swallowing and the act of blushing (caused by being embarrassed). And you fear how people might perceive you because of each act. This is a common social anxiety problem not an Autistic/Aspergers one.

Hope that helps.

John

[bellabessnjet]

Hi,
Read this with interest, my son was diagnosed autistic at 3 yrs old Jan 2006, in the Feb my husband was also diagnosed with Aspergers. Although I dont know much about social anxiety (other than what I've read on here) I do know that in my case Aspergers don't usually notice and therfore care about what others think. Not because of rudeness just because they dont recognise or understand other people do not think like them. One test was told to me:
2 people in a room, A puts an apple, banana and a book into a basket and puts the lid back on. both go out the room. A comes back into the room and takes out the apple, what does A think B will say is in the basket? Of course B thinks all 3 items are in the basket, and doesnt know A has removed the apple. A however knows that the apple has been removed and therefore B has to know it as well!
When my hubby got diagnosed he was asked to describe what was on the wall behind the Dr, mirror, picture etc, when asked what was behind him he replied exactly the same, mirror, picture. People with aspergers find it really hard to accept that others dont know what they know or mean, and also see things very black and white. Dont know if this makes sense but please remeber that all autism is not the same and everyone is unique.
Hope this helps
Angela

[JohnLuke300]

Hi Angela,

Your post was very enlightening, I knew the way that the autistic reason developed differently to the non-autistic. But your example helps to highlight those differences and makes sense out of some of the things I've experienced. I realized that the lad I mentor does not understand why his actions can cause offense in others. And when someone berates him he reacts strongly, because he feels like he is being victimized. It is what we would do if we believed we have been unfairly criticized. Although many people compare social anxiety and autism/aspergers, I believe the two conditions are completely different. Both sufferers avoid social interactions, but for different reasons.

All the best,

John

[Franz]

Originally Posted by Rom

What i don't understand is if social anxiety is anxiety other social situations and Aspergers is in some ways similar how can i tell which one ive got ?

I agree with the other posters: Asperger's and social anxiety are totally different things. In some ways, they are opposites: with Asperger's, the subject lacks sensitivity to social situations, whereas with social anxiety the subject is over-sensitive to social situations.

Sufferers from social phobia are likely to be highly emotional people, whereas sufferers from Asperger's tend to be rather unemotional.

But these things operate on a spectrum and are not clear-cut. I once had it suggested to me that I suffered from Asperger's. I'm not sure I agree, as I think I am quite adept at interpreting body language, and my social awkwardness is definitely due to nerves rather than to not understanding what the "rules" are of social interaction. However, I have some Asperger's-like tendencies, such as obsessiveness, irritability, aversion to sudden or loud noises, and a liking for solitude.

[lc2613]

i just wanted to add that i do believe that a lot of people with aspergers are very inteligent and therfore understand the way that they think is different therfore causing frustrations. in my sons case he is very quiet polite described in his school report as being extreamly sensitive but when he is angry he has smashed glass out of doors dismantled beds complete change of behaviour and afterwards seems oblivious to how he has acted, so i believe emotions can vary but if i was to be ill he would have no care bless him unless he could see it ie vomit or blood. also about social rules i think if a person is autistic but inteligent i think it is possible for them to monitor behaviours and copy and act as how is 'socially' accepted because they know that this is 'normal' behaviour. but in other cases it could just be as simple as being nervous of a social situation therfore causing the phobia and the problems that accompany it. x