[sb001f8994]

Hi Poppy,
Thank you I did have a good birthday and my hubby often gets drunk and is a nightmare...but after 26 years you'd think Id be used to it!
Ive been agoraphobic off and on for over 30 years...more off than on Im glad to say. It reared its ugly head again about six years ago and after a very unpleasent time with my hubby four years ago I decided to do something about it. Its taken a very long time but after three years of being more or less housebound Im doing much better. And yes I do think you can be fully recovered, a friend of mine was housebound for a few years and has been to Florida, learnt to drive, been on loads of holidays and travels here to visit from Birmingham, which is a few hours away. At the moment I feel like I will never be 'normal' but Im hopinig I will one day just walk out of the door without even thinkiing about it. I also believe Ive gotten into such a rut that Im finding it very difficult to get out of. Im lucky as Im not depressed and I dont panic or feel anxious very often, I think I just fear the fear...if that makes any sense?
The good day bad day can be a nightmare, I dont get that now. I found I was planning my week to match the days! I wouldnt have visitors on 'bad' days and it got very out of hand. It just seemed to go away without me even realising it. I do get days when I am blue and fed up watching the world pass me by but I stay positive and people who know me will always see me smiling. I hope you can get pased this good day bad day stage very soon, sending you many hugs.
Take care,
Carol x

[teez]

hiya all,,ive had a good day today so far ,,but it is only 11.30, lol, i got up at 6.30 and walked my dogs,,took my son to work with hubby at seven,,then straight into asdas,,,ohhhhh ladies it was wonderful,,no-one there,,it was empty a shop to myself lol, i wondered round on my own, slowly and enjoying the sense i could do things at my leisure,,no people rushing about,,pushing shoving,,no-one on the loud hailer thingy making me jump outta my skin,,and the lights wernt as harsh either,,i thoughly enjoyed every moment, so a little tip get up real early ,so your still sleepy , to tired to panic,,and visit your local supermarket early before the rush starts it marvelous lol,,. Hiya sue,,i know, that garden centre has a lot to answer for ,,i spend more money in there than id like,,lol, we have lunch and a cuppa in the garden centre just before that,,and where they now know me im ok in there,,take care all theresa x

[sue.b]

Hi Everyone

The ups and downs are the pits aren't they Poppy, i find it makes a difference when it is dark early, i miss getting home from work and being able to go in the garden or sit in the conservatory, natural daylight does seem to lift the spirits a bit.

Belated happy birthday Carol, Hubbies and alcohol huh...what a pain..lol.
Glad to hear it doesn't get you down. It is good to be able to have a moan on this thread, get of the chest.

Hi Theresa, we usually eat in the garden centre too, i had a brie, apple and mango pannini, yum!! John forgot to pick up a certain bushy thing he wanted last Saturday so we have got to go back again, oh dear...sounds expensive.

Glad you enjoyed the Supermarket, I had a wander around Tescos a couple of weeks ago on my own and enjoyed the freedom of being able to do just that, browse instead of scurrying round.

I am pleased to say that on Monday I felt slightly better than I did over the weekend, and today I feel better still. Not back to where I was a week ago but hopefully this down few days was just a blip and I am onwards and upwards again.

I spoke with the therapist today and she suggested that the last few low days may have a delayed reaction to the previous weekend, when my grandson cut his chin, and it was all a panic and hubby and me went up to the hospital for 2-3 hrs to be with him, as he and both his parent suffer from needle phobia and him and his dad have a blood phobia, not good considering he was covered in blood and had to have 5 injections so his chin could be stitched. But who knows with this unpredictable condition.

Take care everyone

Chat soon

Sue xxxxx

[teez]

hiya ,,its been an odd week,,had my ups an downs like we all do, ive been out and about,but its been harder going than the week before.im going away to the lake district in 3 weeks so i have to keep pushing myself or six hour drive with four of us and a very large heavy dog and me panicking isnt gonna be much fun lol

[teez]

hiya dont know if anyones reading this anymore,,but i,ll carry on regardless , had my ups and downs again this week, a few real downers,,but ive got through all the same, we,ve been going out most days and despite not feeling my best ive been ok,,i even pushed myself to do asdas my pet hate,,even though it was packed to the rafters,,i went to the fast lane,,but i was going in for my mum,,and im always more stubborn in my resolve to get the job done if its for someone else,,how are people coping with their christmas shopping,,i did a little back in the summer but i still have loads to do,,

[sb001f8994]

Hi everyone,
I was thinking that thersa so I stopped posting. Glad you got through your downs, I was very down on Wednesday but decided to pick myself up as nobody even noticed! Im still only at the first aisle of somerfield but Im doing it now without much bother and only a slightly elevated heat rate. Im even managing to stand in a small queue and converse without getting flustered and going bright red!
Im doing very well on the xmas shopping front, nearly sorted now but I cheated and done it online. Even when I was getting out I did alot of my xmas shopping online, especially the kids stuff, waiting in queues and then to be told its sold out...how frustratiing and annoying!
I hope you are all well and still doing the baby steps.
Take care,
Carol x

[sue.b]

Hi everyone

Sorry you are having a bit of bad time at the moment theresa. It is good that you are still going out though. It is hard though when you feel low.
We will have to get to the garden centre one of these days and have that cuppa and a chat.

I guess it is good to consolidate on the progress you are making at sommerfields carol, it is best to be able to do something with ease and then move on to the next challenge. I have been christmas shopping on line tonight as well. I can go to the shops with hubby but weekends are packed and weeknight I feel too tired after work to concentrate on christmas lists.

I have been reading the thread but i haven't posted on here recently. I have had a bit of a week of it really. Last Saturday I notice i had much more energy and less anxiety. Sunday I felt good, back to my old self, even taking an interest in Christmas, something I hadn't managed before.
Hubby had had a chest infection all week, on antibiotics and his asthma pump etc, I went to bed about midnight on Sunday (had taken a sleeping pill and it was working!!!) John used his pump and decided to take some cough mixture, by the time he had walked from the bedbroom to the bathroom his throat had closed up and he couldn't breath, he was making a terrible noise.

Anyway to cut a long story short, ambulance, hospital, nebuliser after nebuliser and a battery of tests, steroids, no sleep all night, John was allowed out at 8.am the next morning. What a scare though, good job my husband doesn't panic...still not sure if it was an allergic reaction or an asthma attack, or if his throat spasmed as he was coughing so much. He still has a chest infection and started another course of antibiotic today. This week we have both been shattered. The good news is I am still holding up okay and managed to keep my anxiety to minimum considering.

Anyway sorry for going on a bit.

Onwards and upwards

Take care

Sue xxx

[sb001f8994]

Hi Sue,
You have had a stressful week but Im glad you have got through it and your hubby is on the mend. How did you cope with such an emergency? Im not sure I would be able to but I have heard that you get an inner strength. Here's hoping that I do as Im a one for running a mile in a crisis or the anxiety gets the better of me and I laugh hysterically quickly followed by crying uncontrollably...see not the best person to have around!
I am enjoying my little journeys to somerfield, I feel like Im achieving something. I know Im not progressing much by way of getting further into the shop but going in almost anxiety free and not even thinking negative thoughts on my way there.
Hope you have a good weekend Sue.
Carol x

[BabyRachel]

Hi everyone.

Sorry for not posting as of late. I don't know whats gotten into me. I've been pretty busy with anxiety and college. Most nights I just come home and sleep butnow its the weeekend and Im cooped up inside and feeling quite low and depressed.

I started seeing a new psychologist who seems to be better than my old one. And she has more appointments avaliable so I can see her weekly which is good. I've only seen her twice but hopefully in time it will make a difference.

I think the depression im experiencing this weekend is related to pms which is half good because at least it has a cause but still half bad because I feel depressed.

I wish I could just go out with some friends and have a good time. I feel like life and the world are just passing me by. I watch my best friend go out with his mates and have such a busy fun life and I have nothing in comparison. It makes me jealous of him which to be honest is a horrible thing. I should be happy for him but I just can't be. I wish I was out in the world having fun and forgetting my worries, instead of being cooped up inside this house with nothing to do.

Ah. Sorry for my depressing rant. Hope the rest of you don't feel down after reading that load!!

Hope everyone has a better weekend than I. xx

[sb001f8994]

Hi Rachel,
Theres nothing wrong with a rant...good for the soul! I know what you mean about life passing you by but it will get better. Im sitting here alone as my hubby and daughter have gone shopping for xmas clothes, how I longed to go. I just want to be part of a 'normal' life again. Its times like this when I get angry at myself for allowing this damn curse to rule my life but fixing it isnt that easy is it? You are going in the right direction with your weekly psychologists visits and you are busy with your college work.
Your pmt will be short lived and soon your depression will lift. Do you think perhaps your feeling more sensitive to watching your friends having fun may be due to your pmt? I find that things are greatly exagerated at this time.
I hope you enjoy the weekend and that you start feeling better soon.
Take care,
Carol x