I might have to get a job (omg nightmare)
ok, i have been full time mum for 7 years, i suffer with bad anxiety and panic and have nil social skills, iam rubbish at dealing with others, dont work as a team well and have no confidence...
having to go to work is something i only dream about, in an ideal world i would love to be sucessul career driven etc
the reality is that i am 'me' and just the thought of job commitment makes me panic (almost like someones out to kill me) i hate it.
my partner normally works while i stay at home, but he had a neck strain injury from his physical factory work, so he took a computer job which only lasted a few weeks as he wasnt getting on. we have a big mortgage (£600 a month) and we are now on jobseekers allowance!!! rubbish income we are going overdrawn, but my partners neck injury has got quite bad, he has been on solpadol for 3 mths and cant sleep and is having physiotherapy so he is struggling to get back to work,
he may be able to claim ESA, but i dont think they pay much? (same as jobseekers)
now theres me, because of my panic and anxiety (which i deal with myself in my own shell) i would rather die than get a job (sound harsh) but after i got bullied at school, i just can be put in a situation with people, i dont have money to look good physically either (i.e hair, nails, skin etc-i cant keep up with that)
i dont take well to being told what to do (take it personally)
im scared, anyone else feel like this?