Hiya!
I'm a 25 year old Scot who has been suffering from anxiety and severe panic attacks for over 10 years. I was agoraphobic for a good few years, too. Found this site recently and it looks like a great community.
When I was 14, my dad got cancer, and I bagan having very, very bad anxiety which eventually left me completely unable to leave the house. My doctor put me on Venlafaxine, but being young and petulant I rejected all the other help offered and became a total hermit. After far too many years of battling through, I beat my agoraphobia in 2005, and managed to get my life back on track. Eventually I started a career, had relationships and generally lived as fully as I could while keeping my anxiety on a tight leash. By 2011, I was living alone in my own rented flat in Edinburgh and even travelling to Spain and France for business. Buuuuuut it didn't last, my anxiety was getting worse and I had to take extended periods off work because I couldn't cope. My employer was not understanding and I ended up resigning.
Not being one for saving money, I found I couldn't afford my rent and had to move back in with my folks. I spent some time recouperating and living off what little savings I had (a bad idea in hindsight). A few weeks ago I had a massive 'crash' - after three or four days of constant panic attacks where I had very bad shakes and was unable to slow my heart or eat, I managed to get myself to the doctor. It was pretty hard and I had plenty of panic attacks in the waiting room, but the doctor was lovely and prescribed me a beta blocker for the anxiety and an increase in my Venlafaxine. She also took blood samples for testing because she was concerned about my thyroid. I found the beta blockers helped a lot and I made some slow if welcome progress with my anxiety until I got the results of my tests back.
My tests showed I had abnormally low cortisone, probably due to Addison's Disease. I looked this up online and had a massive freak out after finding that many folk found the condition unbearable and even found a few posts with people saying they wished they were dead. My doctor also told me I was to go to the Western General Hospital immediately for a chat with a doctor and an ACTH stimulation test. Now, I looked up the test online and promptly discovered loads of people saying the test was the worst thing in all history and it made them feel sick, dizzy, etc. I'm pretty afraid of being sick (I know, it's silly) and I got myself really worked up about going, and having the test in particular, but it was absolutely fine with regard to side effects (though it does involve having ACTH injected into your bum-cheek, which was bloody sore) However, the chat with the doctor was concerning. She said I was unlikely to have Addison's (a relief), but more likely to have a benign tumour on my pituitary. I was pretty crushed at the thought of having to have surgery, particularly on my brain, but I toddled off home for a cry and to try to get my head around what I'd been told.
By the time I got my ACTH test results back last Sunday, I was pretty resigned to the fact, though VERY depressed. However, to my absolute joy and relief, my body is apparently producting cortisone as expected and I don't have to go back to the hospital! This was brilliant news and I immediately told my mates and promptly fell asleep on the sofa for a few hours.
That pretty much takes us up to now! Sorry for making you read this massive introduction, I hope I'm still welcome!
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