OCD and depression cause by at-home situation

[mismashful2]

Hi everyone, it's been a few weeks since I last posted here.

I'm trying to continue my battle but it's quite hard. I've come to a point where I think that my depression is caused by my at-home situation.

I'm 20 yo and live with my dad, while all my friends live on campus at university. It's a 2 hour travel everyday to uni, so I don't see my friends very often (except those who follow the same course as I do) and I never go out. I loved going out, but it's just not possible.
My dad has the money to pay for it, but he doesn't want to. I'm also not allowed to get a student job, so I can't save any money for it. My dad looks at my bank account every month to look at what I've spent, so I can't put any money aside either.

My dad has been very aggressive and verbally abusive as long as I can remember. Towards me and my mother.
Because he was so abusive, my mom cheated on my dad. When he found out, he beat her really badly (I was about 14 then) and I do remember very vividly how that looked. He did that a few times around that time, and then my mum quit us because she was too afraid.

Since then (about 6 years now) I live alone with my dad. He's very manipulating and verbally abusive, but on the other hand, he does everything for me that he can. But, I'm not allowed to see my mother. And that really saddens me. I really want a mom. But every time I say something about it, he reacts very aggressively.

Wow, this was quite a ramble, but my question really is: what should I do? Should I leave at home? He already threatened to kill my mum a couple of times, so I'm afraid he'll do the same to me then if he finds me..

[Bigboyuk]

Hi mismashful that is a sad story feel for you You know can see excuses for his behaviour You say on the other hand he does everything to help you. Nah sorry don't buy this ( it's not that I don't believe you) but the bad things he is doing is terrible no wonder your mum has left home. Your father is a very dangerous man by the sounds of it. And to stop you seeing your mum well sorry he cant do this it's your right to see your mum What you do? Well do you have a abuse team connected to uni or some other charity in your area something has to be done before he hurts you too hun don't be scared on reporting it too. he has already hurt you emotionally you need to escape you are trapped at the moment I sincerely hope you actually will see sense for your own peace of mind Take care and let us know what you plan to do.

[snowghost57]

You need to get away from your situation as soon as possible. Your father is an abuser. He is isolating you so he can control you. You need to find an agency that will help you. Please reach out to these people they understand an abusive person and know how to help you. He is controlling you and is verbally abusive. If he has threatened to kill your mother she should have reported him to the police. I've been in an abusive relationship. These people do not change! You have to take the first step to ensure that you are safe! Please keep us posted.

[Lucinda07]

Your Father controls you financially & emotionally, crushing your confidence.
Is there a counsellor you could speak to at the University. Perhaps there is a way for you to continue your studies without living at home with the Jailor
Take Care

[Bigboyuk]

Prehaps stay with relatives or a friend are these a possabilty? What a mess you in don't suffer in silence and don't put up with it any more, thinking of you in this difficult time XX

[mismashful2]

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your answers. I talked to a number of people about it (even at uni), but they all say they can't help me because I'm an adult.

I don't have any family, because my dad doesn't trust anyone, so he also doesn't trust any friends/family.

I don't know what my point really is of this post, just some.. Support. I feel like I won't become better if I don't leave home, but I'm so afraid.

[Bigboyuk]

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your answers. I talked to a number of people about it (even at uni), but they all say they can't help me because I'm an adult.

I don't have any family, because my dad doesn't trust anyone, so he also doesn't trust any friends/family.

I don't know what my point really is of this post, just some.. Support. I feel like I won't become better if I don't leave home, but I'm so afraid.

Hi
That doesn't make any sense to me You have talked to a few people and some at you UNI but they cant help me because Iam a Adult can I ask what age you are? What sort of a answer is this, just think either they don't know how to help you or they don't want to get involved, either way it's sad. There must be some
authority/charity for abused women that will help in your area I really hope you can get out of this and quickly too. Cheers

[mismashful2]

Hi
That doesn't make any sense to me You have talked to a few people and some at you UNI but they cant help me because Iam a Adult can I ask what age you are? What sort of a answer is this, just think either they don't know how to help you or they don't want to get involved, either way it's sad. There must be some
authority/charity for abused women that will help in your area I really hope you can get out of this and quickly too. Cheers

I'm 20. And they meant that they can get minors out of their at-home situation, but that that's impossible to do with adults.

Do you think it's possible that my depression will lift when even when I stay at home?

[Bigboyuk]

I'm 20. And they meant that they can get minors out of their at-home situation, but that that's impossible to do with adults.

Do you think it's possible that my depression will lift when even when I stay at home?

Ahh I see now, but surely they must be able to put you in touch with a organisastion that can help you? Tbh no don't think your depression will get any better living in the terrible situation you are in sorry just being honest, you need to get out and quick

[MotoApenguin]

@mismashful2 - Hi! It was sad and terrifying to hear your story. Your dad needs help. Seek someone you can really trust and who can really talk with your dad. A medical health counselor might be a good choice. After which you can settle your worries freely.