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Thread: hello im new here

  1. #1

    hello im new here

    hi everyone, i have depression and i feel so ill every day, i am so sick of it, i can tell my husband everything but he dosent really understand, i just feel as tho i am screaming and no one is listening, i know my depression is bad at the moment, is this why i feel so phyically ill every day?...i feel so tired and i have no energy at all...i am over weight and i smoke, i know i need to help my self with these issues but it is so difficult to lose weight, eat really well and i exersize a little, i cannot do too much as i have problems with my bones and i get in allot of pain. i just dont know what to do any more, im not looking for sympathy or advice....i suppose i just need to rant for a bit, get everything out that i want to say, they say to just write and then things will start to come out eventualy...i just want to be 'normal' again, i wanna be there for my 3 boys, i feel like i am not worth anything to no body, im a waste of space, i really do try hard to figjht but it makes me so tored, no one seems to understand and i feel like i am screaming so loud and no one is listening to me!! i feel sorry for my self, i feel like it is not fair that i should have these things happening to me, what have i done so wrong in life to be punished this way...dont get me wrong i am not a big believer of god or anything but i feel like i am been tested but i feel as tho i have been tested enought, surly i have prooved my self...i say it again i know BUT I JUST WANT SO NORMALITY IN MY LIFE!....i am sorry for the rant and it probibly was not the best introduction i know, sorry, but i just felt like there was no one or no where i could turn any more, mu mum has always been there for me but these days if i tell her how i am feeling, she is really understanding but it really upsets her...my hubby listens and trys to find ways of making it better but i always shoot down every suggestion that he has.. i want a miricle cure and there isnt one, i maybe selfish for wanting that, i know that there are so many people in the world that are 100 times worse than me, i have a good support network but it seems not enough these days..like i said, it was enough having the anxiety and depression but now for the past few weeks i have had thses feelings of phyical illness, i have had lots of tests and here is nothing that shows up apart from my white cell count is always a little bit high, do others feel this way?...is it a side effect of having deopression?..and will it ease or will i always feel ill every day of my life, because sometimes, how i feel right now life just seems so unworth while, if it was not for my children i know i would not be here any more, mu kids make life worth living and they keep me strong, i have to be strong for them but my eldest is almlost 12, he realises when m,y illness is playing up and i can see it in his eyes that he is worried and sad and i know it ownt be too long b4 the othere boys see it too..i really feel stuck in a rut just now, i am 28 years old and my life is so dull, my friends dont understand and my hubby tries but does not fully understand, i dont feel like i can talk to my counciler..she is so patronising, its like she constantly says'snap out of it'!..not in so many words but that is what she means.....oh well better go and do the kids pack up for tomorrow, thank you for taking the time to read my post xx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    46,966
    Hi natnatz1983

    We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

    Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.
    __________________
    Nicola

    “Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.” - Natalie Babbitt

    Please help keep NMP running and donate to the running costs: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/donate




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