Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Half way up and half way down

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    551

    Half way up and half way down

    In some ways I feel better than I have done for a long time. When I have panic attacks I am better equipped to deal with them than I used to be and they are over much more quickly. I'm starting to develop friendships and interests and I have a good idea of where I want to go with my future. I'm not feeling as unreal either.

    On the other hand I still feel very tense and anxious, I don't really feel like a human being, thoughts of death and suicide plague me and I feel very pressurised and trapped.

    When I was having really bad panic attacks and I had been having them for about a year I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to give up, that I had come so far and worked so hard and I wasn't going to let it be for nothing. Maybe because so much more time has passed and I'm still not well I just don't feel like I've got the same fight and spirit at the moment.

    I used to have urges to drive into oncoming traffic and stuff like that and that caused a lot of my panic attacks. I don't have urges like that so much, which is all the more frustrating why I have urges to hurt myself at the moment.

    I know it will pass and that I'm actually doing very well. I guess it's the frustration about not being able to make that final leap that is causing me to go backwards a little bit. I'm just scared and I want it to go away so that i can get on with my life.

    Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    918
    hi wish

    you are making really positive progress and learning to cope is all about taking it in small steps. on days where you have a blip, reflect back to how you were before and see how far you have actually came.

    it is something you need to continue working on and you know that the strategies you have learnt work. It is good you are making new friendships and new interests - this all helps towards getting better.

    sometimes its not going backwards, its just preparing ourselves for that final leap - give yourself time and it will come.

    all the best

    darkangel

    ........life is for living not just for surviving

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    , , Canada.
    Posts
    9
    Hey Wish, Try not to put so much pressure on yourself and keep the positive things in the front of your mind at all times. It is a little like being stuck, but maybe that's the place you need to be right now while your getting your body and mind ready for that last step.

    When those feelings are hitting me, I like to write down the positives and steps I've taken so far in order to get myself to this point. The final step is the hardest but the most fun ... so give it the time it needs and deserves.

    Usually our bodies and minds, if we listen to them, understand better then we do when they're ready to move forward again. Leave it to your innerself to know.

    Hugs,
    Tanya

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    283
    I totally agree with what everyone else has said. I often feel like this too. Days when you feel you are getting much better are great but the days you feel like you are back to square one are so frustrating. The main thing is to remember that you have made progress. Another way to know that you have made progress is to remember that the bad days don't come as often & don't last as long - don't you think?

    I know what it is like to just wish that we could just wake up one morning & it would be completely gone - no more anxiety, no more panic - I wish this often & get disappointed when I still find myself struggling with the same old feelings. However if we focus on the good things, like the fact that you are more aware of all the symptoms, and what things you can do to dampen down the anxiety & panic, the fact that you have made lots of friends that give you support, and the fact that you can look back & see that you have made progress - all of this should help you feel a little better on those days that you feel bad.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    8,314
    This sounds like a success post to me !!
    Well done on all that progress

    The remaining thoughts and urges are now simply habits in your mind and you need to break them by either distraction or by directly having a logical debate with them and doing self CBT.


    Meg
    www.anxietymanagementltd.com

    proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    , , USA.
    Posts
    65
    Hi There.
    Don't feel so bad, I am having the same kind of progress you are having where you still have moments but it isn't bad. Trust me you are Doing GREAT. As someone who has made it through panic and anxiety a couple of times. I learned that It doesn't come about overnight and it isn't gonna go away overnight. I still have moments where thoughts of death and spaciness come up and I want to be afraid but They are getting further and further spaced. There is gonna come a day that you will get over it completely and years from now you yourself won't even know exactly what day it happend. The reason being because you will get to the point that you stop thinking about it altogether. I am sure that is how it will happen with me again as well. I am learning that the more I think about being healed, the more I relive the panic. Just take 1 day at a time.

    worrying is alot Like a Rocking Chair It is something todo but it won't get you anywhere

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    551
    I don't feel totally unreal like I used to, but I still don't really feel connected to my body or my environment. I know that it's supposed to be a defence mechanism to stop the brain from becoming overloaded, but feeling like this actually causes most of my panic and anxiety, which is frustrating. I feel a bit kind of trapped in my thoughts and that this physical body isn't mine. It's a scary and horrible sensation.

    You know how when you're tense you muscle get all knotted? It feels like there's a big knot of tension in my brain.

    I know I should focus on the fact that I don't feel as bad as before. Maybe it's a bit like circulation returning to your extremities after you've been out in the cold, maybe you gradually fill out your body again.



    Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. My first half a Citalapram - now what happens?
    By lilac kitten in forum Citalopram / Celexa
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 22-03-16, 16:11
  2. Doctor appointment in half an hour...
    By LockedShut in forum Depression from Panic/Anxiety
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 16-03-07, 20:33

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •