I don't know where to go from here...

[DoubtfulDarling]

Hi all,

I hope you're all doing as okay as you can be. As we're all in the same boat.

Basically, I've always suffered from self destruction, depression, anxiety, OCD and panic attacks.

Recently, me and my boyfriend have been going through an extremely difficult time and two days ago he decided to break up with me. It's absolutely devastating that he broke up with me, as he was the only person who made me happy.

We were together for 6 nearly 7 months and in the time together, I unfortunately lost my job, I began to become a recluse and my whole attitude shifted. I became really self contained and depressed because of the change in my life and how things had escalated without my consent.

Now, me and my ex are completely over and I'm absolutely heartbroken. He meant the world to me and now I haven't eaten in four days and have barely slept. It's awful, because I'm not mad at him for dumping me, but I'm just devastated that I've lost him as a person in my life as he was so positive and influential on me.

I've also began self harming again due to the depression, it's nothing too deep or anything, but it's the only way I know how to deal with the feelings of loss and abandonment. My dad left when I was 15, my best friend (male) committed suicide and my uncle committed suicide also.

Although I wasn't with him for long, I can feel myself going away again. I haven't eaten, slept, I'm self harming and I can't stop myself from feeling how I do.

This isn't necessarily a break up post, but more so the effects after the breakup that I'm dealing with. My depression and other mental health issues have caused me to think that it's all my fault, when really, it wasn't. It wasn't my choice whatsoever.

Does anyone have any advice or steps I could take to move forward?

Thank you all so much for your help x

[Oosh]

Sorry to hear youve been having a rough time. Break ups are really hard.

Do you have any friends you can give a call for some company. It's best not to be on your own with your own thoughts for company at times like these.

Your in good company here. There are lots in a similar position as you.

Is it possible you can get back into working again ?

If possible you need to keep living your life, amongst people and working would be great. Stepping out of it all and isolating yourself, avoiding can just make it harder to do all of these things again when the time comes.

If you have nobody then connect with people online. You're definitely not alone in what you're going through. Post here, use the chat room, make some pen pal friends for support.

Keep us updated on how you're doing.