13 Reasons Why - Suicide

[Peru83]

Hey Guys,

I recently watched "13 Reasons Why" and it left me feeling really meh! It gave me mixed feelings of empathy and anger. As some of you know, I've started a blog to help me deal with my issues, and I find it's really helping. I had sat on my latest blog for 3 weeks, as I felt it might have been a bit of an overshare, but I've gone with it anyways.

My blog is about the TV show 13 Reasons Why & how suicide has impacted my life. Maybe give it a read, as feedback is always welcome

http://pmacorner.com/what-i-took-from-13-reasons-why/

[AntsyVee]

I agreed with this article:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/03/opinio...ion/index.html

[Peru83]

Wow, yes, that is a really good article. When I get a chance I will watch his Ted Talks.

I see exactly what the health professionals mean and I was worried when my teenagers watched it, as you just never know how someone will interpret it. I think this is why the show left me conflicted. What I did like about it though, is it highlighted what her family were left with feeling. I felt that part of the show was really important as I don't think when suicide has been considered, the impact on loved ones is thought about. I think it also tried to highlight that we always have people who love us, but I do see what this article is saying. Did you think my article maybe glorified the show too much?

Thanks for the share 😁

[MyNameIsTerry]

I haven't read it all yet but I can't see your article glorifying it. As you've had your own experiences with the topic, I don't believe you would treat it anything other than with the seriousness & sensitivity that it requires.

I've not seen it but it seems to me it could be taken in several ways. Like the article AntsyVee posted says, we learn thoughts aren't always facts. Someone who has made that decision isn't seeing the downside from the point of view of others or logically looking at what they do have like you talk about in the article. So, how much guilt is caused to the person watching the video? And in reality, just how much of a bad thing did they do?

The idea of it feels like it may be sensationalist in typical TV form but I've not seen it so my opinion could change.

It's good they show the impact to the mother. It's hard but it's one point where the makers could argue they are appealing to people by showing them what they leave behind. Although to someone depressed enough to take action, I suspect it's largely irrelevant to their mindset.

Many people have more than they realise, as you say. I feel it's more about the pain they are in. Most of us in our countries are so much better off than many in this world but when the pain is in our heads, we aren't going to consider this if we aren't going to even consider the good things in our lives like our families. Sometimes we just want relied and very sadly some see it only through this.

I worked with a guy who came home from his shift to find his teenage son had hanged himself. Whilst there had been problems at school before he left and drug use, this was never indicated. He managed to deal with it, after a while, and get back to work but I can't imagine the thoughts that plagued the parents. What if I just came home slightly earlier? It hit his other son harder.

My best mate years ago came home to find his new wife in the bath tub...you can full in the blanks. Luckily he got their in time and got her sectioned. This was where he found out she had been concealing mounting debts for ages. I never thought of her other than the happy & fun nurse that she appeared to be. He took over the debt management and this helped her greatly.

It seems a very complex issue. But I do question the relevance of the sending of tapes to tell people why, I question how likely this would be.

[Buster70]

Hi , didn't see it and probably won't but did read your blog , I've seen suicide from most angles and people try to make sense of it but there seems to be very little ryme or reason like a lot of things in life it makes no sense and is out of our control which we don't like .
When I was in my teens a lad I drank with went from a night out with us and gassed himself no warning he was just gone , over the years Quite a few people I know have took this route out another woman with two kids gave us a lift home from a club she seemed happy and nice a few days later she went of a car park it's always met with disbelief, more recently my best mates partner got into a load of problems drugs , money , cheating , but all things that could be overcome if she wanted it enough instead she took a four hour drive to beachey head which at the time I couldn't understand why didn't she just move and start a new life ? , so it gets closer to home when one day we go out for some dinnner while out we get a call my daughter is very ill a frantic drive home and she's taken and over dose ambulance service are absolute shits and don't take it serious and take an hour to arive with a couldn't care less attitude, at the hospital we were told she was ok and could go home I go to the toilet come out and she's in resus and a doc says we have to prepare she might not make it that feeling and moment will stay with me till I die , five days in intensive care and she pulled through but not before a doctor insisted on telling her she was dying and need a liver transpant , be under no illusion you don't just go to sleep after an overdose you die from organ failure days or weeks later , last year my partner did the same thing while I was out and I went through the same again , I've seen first hand what happens to the ones left behind and it can end their lives as well , now having witnessed all of this and knowing what I do I have thought of ending my life on many occasions , when the darkness comes over you , you don't think of any one else or how it will affect them suicide is very selfish , it's only recently I realised why none of the people I knew who have gone this way could have just started again it's because you can't run from what's in your head , I've asked my partner to promise me she will never do it again and she said she can't and I understand that now but it's hard to accept but life is very unpredictable, it all sounds very bleak so I'll end with no matter how crap life is today it can change in the blink of an eye and somtimes for the better so hang around see what tomorrow brings .

[Peru83]

Terry - Thank you for your response and sharing your stories.

Buster - I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. I honestly cannot begin to imagine the impact this must have on you . Is your Daughter ok after her transplant? I hope your partner is getting all the help she needs, and will one day be free of her demons.

---------- Post added at 09:29 ---------- Previous post was at 09:16 ----------

I started this blog in the hopes to help me, but also to help others see they're not alone. However, I do fully appreciate that my experiences may not be something that everyone can relate to, as we all have different issues and ways of coping.

If any of you ever felt that you wanted to contribute, or have something added, that would honestly be more than welcome! Buster - you definitely sound like you have a lot of experience with regards to suicide, and I feel that your perspectives from both sides could really be of help to someone. So if you ever did consider it, please let me know It could be completely anonymous, so don't feel you'd have to reveal anything about yourself on a personal level.

[Buster70]

Hi, my daughter didn't have the transplant in the end she had very good treatment from
Birmingham hospital and another , the day she came home I said thank to the sky on the way to get her , im not religious so it made no sense but I felt I had to thank somthing , she was never contacted after she left not a single check up on how she was doing , a friends daughter took her life soon after aged 14 and I didn't go to the funeral partly because of the enormous guilt that my daughter survived and his didn't , I think you experience every possible emotion afterwards but it is somthing that you carry with you daily , life is fragile and unpredictable for some that is very difficult to accept , I hope your demons are well and truly buried, take care .

[Peru83]

Hi Buster,

I'm glad to hear that your daughter didn't need the transplant in the end. Must have been such a relief for both of you. You are so right, life is fragile, probably feels even more so when you have a mental illness.

I'm actually in awe of your story, and admire how strong you clearly are Your daughter is very lucky to have you, as is your partner

[Buster70]

Hi , definitely not worthy of awe and haven't coped well just scraped by each time and it does feel soul destroying to know you have very little control over your life , I'm not sure I'd have much more to offer your blog it's just my experiences and we all deal with situations differently, if it helps you or someone else put their demons to rest that can only be a good thing , good luck with it , take care .