Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: OCD thoughts? Hyper-awareness? Help!

  1. #1

    OCD thoughts? Hyper-awareness? Help!

    Hi everybody,

    Apologies in advance for the long post!

    I posted a while back that my thoughts started off as POCD ones which was really frightening. I still get the odd couple but they seem to pass. So for me now, the battle is constantly being in my head all the time. At first I was just getting a general thought regarding the individual that my POCD thoughts had centred around (e.g. the name) but now I'm not even sure my brain is doing this. It is hard to explain. I am so hyper-aware of what I'm thinking. Even as I write this now my brain is telling me "you're thinking about ...... again". Even though I am not directly thinking of that thing. It just feels like a negativity clouding my brain without sometimes ever materialising into an anything. Then on the other hand my brain can make the thought clear and loud. This happens constantly even when I am trying to relax/distract myself by reading a book, watching TV or even talking to people. Last night for example, I had booked to go and see a show ages ago and I was super exited but it seemed like the whole time I was watching I was constantly in my own head!

    Or, I'll begin to look at this in terms of time. So if I've actually managed to be out of my own head (very rare) which only ever seems to be for a very short period of time, my brain will go "you didn't think about that for a minute, but now you are back in your head again!".It's so frustrating and even complicated to explain! I also set time limits for myself such as 'by .......... I want to be thinking normally again' or 'what if by ....... you are still thinking like this'.

    My OCD thinking or whatever the hell this is seemed to be at it's worse when I had 2 weeks off for the Easter holidays. Even though I was trying to fill my time, this certain feeling and thinking pattern was still in the back of my head. Since being back at work I feel like I have really been in control of my head (well, until this week). I work in education and it can be hectic so I have found it a positive way to distract myself even though I still have bouts of being in my own head, I find myself being able to go longer periods of time without doing so. It's almost like I will be reminded that I haven't thought of it but it will soon be replaced with something else. However, this week I have just taken a turn and I feel like I am back at square 1 which I am struggling to understand seeing as I was doing so well. I now wonder if I will ever feel like that again.. I had my first CBT appointment and as much as I feel happy for seeking help, part of me is like "what if you can't do this?" and I have just booked an appointment with my GP regarding medication options.

    I keep seeing replies to people's posts saying "just block them out" or "just push them away" but when I attempt to do this they just come right back within minutes it seems. Or like today, I've been up since 6:30 and this has been what has consumed my mind since the moment I woke up. I have also seen posts with similar content that explore the theme of hyper-awareness. I am wondering if this falls into that category.

    I also find myself comparing and dwelling on times when I felt good and felt bad, but reminding myself that even though I was doing well the thoughts were still present and associating things to the negativity (I have always done this). I would expand but I fear that the post will be far too long!

    Thank you for taking the time to read and any advice is greatly appreciated!

    ---------- Post added at 18:08 ---------- Previous post was at 17:32 ----------

    I’ve also just seen a post by Terry on another post regarding anxiety causing blips to happen during recovery.

    Could it be possible that because I was subconsciously nervous about my first therapy session or even travelling away from home to see this show contributed to this?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    27,320

    Re: OCD thoughts? Hyper-awareness? Help!

    Thought blocking or pushing thoughts away doesn't work very well and can make them worse. So much is in our reaction to our triggers and reacting with "aarrrggghhhh just go away!!!" is just a signal back to the subconscious to say this issue is important to the conscious mind hence needs to continue.

    See this metaphor to support his:

    https://psychologytools.com/intrusiv...-metaphor.html

    Thoughts about "you've not been anxious, shouldn't you be anxious?" are very common. Consider that fight or flight is there to protect us and it has built beliefs that these irrational fears are important in our protection hence it's really saying "shouldn't you be afraid there is a bear?"

    Again, it's about allowing these thoughts to pass through and trying not to pay them much attention because then you can get sucked into the whole "why am I having these thoughts" and you spiral into negativity from there.

    As far as targets go, they can be unhelpful if they are not smart and achievable. If they overwhelm you, they aren't helping. Micro goals are best, you get to the larger goal through a series of less threatening goals.

    It's the old "how longs a piece of string?" argument with mental health. My first time around I was like this but after the relapse I decided it didn't matter how many years it took as long as I got there in the end as it's better than remaining trapped. I do struggle with ruts though in my anxiety so it's not something I can say I have beaten but I don't think it's helpful to say you must be better by X like you would with a broken leg.

    It's easily possible that increased anxiety over something new or potentially stressful can/will increase your intrusive thoughts. Many of us on here have found this and we have also found the opposite to be true; they reduce when we don't have something on our backs to worry about. In fact, I'm yet to come across an OCDer who says when you push a load of stress on them their OCD doesn't worsen.

    The overthinking is very annoying. It can be relentless. For some, medication helps to reduce this so they can work on their anxiety but others find help in ways such as meditation or by encouraging the body to be less tense & more relaxed.
    __________________
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

  3. #3

    Re: OCD thoughts? Hyper-awareness? Help!

    Hi Terry,

    Thank you for taking the time to read and reply!

    I've heard that thought blocking is bad and that allowing the thoughts can help with recovery as eventually the mind doesn't give them importance or label them anymore. However, what I'm struggling to battle with is the idea that my mind is constantly racing and aware. I guess what I'm trying to say is, how can I let this pass if it is constant? Do I just have to carry on like normal?

    I absolutely agree with this it is just very hard to do. Especially because I feel I have a lot to look forward too and right now I don't want to do any of it because of the fear that I'll feel the way I do now.

    I also find myself doing it short term too and it sound s stupid when I tell people and type it out but it is my current mindset at the moment. In my head I'll tell myself "I need to get up and do this" but it will always follow with "bet you can't do that without having ...... thought or being in your head". It's bizarre and frustrating especially as it revolves around everything such as getting out of bed on a morning to get ready for the day or even walking down the stairs or something. The same with things I used to enjoy like I mentioned before (reading, watching TV). I am also afraid that it will impact negatively at work, it was helping me a great deal in terms of my focus but I worry that this will no longer happen.

    I just feel extremely confused about my mind whether it is hyper-awareness or whether I am ruminating or if it is still the POCD (things can still trigger intrusive thoughts in this area).
    Last edited by Boddle1803; 29-04-18 at 15:06.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    27,320

    Re: OCD thoughts? Hyper-awareness? Help!

    Yes, we do need to carry on and try not to let our anxiety take over our daily lives. Too much sitting around or "thinking time" can be a problem for us when we are struggling like this and having healthy activities & distractions can interrupt that time and allow our brain & bodies to feel something other than constant anxiety.

    It's good that you know you have things to look forward too, it can be that we feel we have nothing to look forward too and that just adds more complication to pushing through.

    Try to think that there is the same chance you will struggle with these events as there is that you will enjoy them. You already know that your mind does get distracted from obsessive thinking when you have things going on, like your work, therefore there is a good chance the events you are looking forward too will have this effect on you. If they don't, you tried. There is always another time to keep trying.

    I also find myself doing it short term too and it sound s stupid when I tell people and type it out but it is my current mindset at the moment. In my head I'll tell myself "I need to get up and do this" but it will always follow with "bet you can't do that without having ...... thought or being in your head". It's bizarre and frustrating especially as it revolves around everything such as getting out of bed on a morning to get ready for the day or even walking down the stairs or something
    I recovered panic sufferer on here used to refer to these thoughts as "riders". A neutral/positive thought comes to you and riding on the back of it is a negative one aiming to put you down and prevent you moving forward. It is important not to let these riders win, to try to remain positive about what we aim to do, to try it out and see if it was ok and not react negatively to them as that only means further reinforcement. It's hard though and much of anxiety & depression revolve around the ambivalence we end up experiencing due to our symptoms, thoughts & feelings. I still struggle with it in many ways although I have resolved this in my intrusive thoughts and various other areas.

    Maybe forget about trying to pinpoint the theme and just regard it as a part of OCD in general? The way out is always about tackling the underlying OCD rather than the theme (although we can do some tailoring to resolve a theme due to differences in the facts we can use as counter evidence to challenge them).

    ---------- Post added at 03:07 ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 ----------

    Here is the thread about riders:

    http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=170683
    __________________
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Constant hyper-awareness of my thoughts, feeling disconnected and trapped.
    By LiveAboveIt in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 16-07-18, 08:39
  2. Sensation of Derealization then Hyper Awareness
    By James160 in forum Depersonalization/depersonalisation & Derealization/derealisation (DP & DR)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 20-08-16, 22:57
  3. Hyper-Awareness Of Ones Self / Body
    By Pdubya86 in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 24-12-13, 17:05
  4. hyper awareness of bodily processes and sensations
    By Butterfly22 in forum General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 17-09-13, 23:05

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •