Anger issues and emotional numbness - side effects? (30mg)

[AndrewCanada]

Hi everyone. I've been on 15mg of Mirtazipine before when I was 18-19, and the side effects then left me emotionally numb, and it killed my sex drive. Initially, I was averse to trying it again, but caved when I spent a week in the hospital for mental health reasons earlier this month. By emotionally numb I mean I was physically unable to cry during sad situations, and felt a little too levelled out. Not sociopathic, but not normal either.

So far I've been on this drug for about 15 days - 30mg this time, switched from Zoloft after being on Zoloft for 9 days. I'm 27 years old this time and was told the drug might affect me differently.

The changes have, for the most part, been night and day.

I still get anxiety attacks, but they're shorter. It has also completely eliminated my agoraphobia and has improved my sleep a little bit. I'm hopeful the changes will only amplify, but there are two possible symptoms I'm a little concerned about: anger, and emotional numbness. The latter I experienced while on the drug in my late teens.

My wife noticed the anger after I flew off the handle at her a few times in the past 3 days. Normally I'm the least angry person you'd see. She then said during our most recent argument "is anger a f***ing side effect of this drug? You're acting like an a**hole!" --- naturally, I'm concerned about this because I don't want to become an angry person. That isn't who I am.

Secondly, emotional numbness: It's also sort of me having trouble thinking clearly sometimes. I'm an artist (professional photographer and hobbyist writer), so this numbness has been cutting into my ability to be creative. I'm beginning to experience the levelling out of emotions, too, which scares me, because I don't want my creative edge to be taken away from me by this drug. This was, as I said before, one reason why I was unsure about starting Mirtazipine again.

Does anyone else have these issues?

I plan to bring them up with my psychiatrist next time I see him, but I'm just worried that this drug is fundamentally masking who I am. Despite having significantly reduced anxiety and sadness, and an increased motivation to do things, I find that when I get motivated to do things, I end up not being able to concentrate on it for long enough and just give up in frustration.

Otherwise, this drug has been golden so far.

Bottom line: I really don't want to give this drug up, because it has given me a bunch of benefits that make talk therapy easier to handle... but in the same respect, I'm concerned and worried about the negatives.

[Ash J]

I believe I was a bit snappy when I first started on these but it did level out after a few weeks. Glad you are finding a benefit from these for your anxiety.

[Mark13]

Hi Andrew

I've been on 15mg for 10 years, apart from a couple of weeks trying something else.

I did notice though that when I tried 30mg, under doctor's supervision, that I became very stressed and wound up for no reason, just overly sensitive, tense and irritable. Also I slept badly on that whereas I invariably sleep fine on 15mg.

So it may just be a dosage issue, I found a big difference in side effects between the dosages as if they were different drugs.

[hanshan]

It is a side-effect of mirtazapine that as the dose increases it is more activating, and some people start to feel agitation. This may explain the angry outbursts. If this is happening on 30 mg per day, it may be better to try 15 mg for a while, in consultation with your doctor.

[AndrewCanada]

Thanks for the insights everyone.

The anger I'm noticing is starting to subside, but my sleep is getting worse. *grumbles even with the mirtazipine and a 0.5mg of clonazepam at bedtime.

It's good that I don't feel so angry as of now. Day 19; going on 3 weeks. It's nice to see some improvements.

[hanshan]

Hi Andrew - It's good to hear that your anger is subsiding. What meds are you currently taking, as it may help others to comment?

[AndrewCanada]

Currently I'm on 30mg of mirtazipine at bedtime and I take 0.25mg of clonazepam (breakfast and dinner) and 0.5mg of clonazepam at bedtime.

The clonazepam really mellows me out. It's nice. It doesn't help me sleep much because I'm extremely sleep-resistant, but it sure helps on the level of anxiety, and it's longer lasting and less habit-forming than most benzos. The therapeutic effects last about 6-12 hours, according to my psychiatrist.