Originally Posted by
Beefany
Hi everyone,
I've posted on here rather infrequently, probably because so often I doubt whether anxiety/stress is the cause of all my health issues (I know right - bet you're all well acquainted with that thought).
My rather elaborate story all began with an allergic reaction to an antibiotic I was taking for a suspected kidney infection. Not only did it cause a reaction in my body, it didn't solve the problem. From that moment on I was issued 3 other courses of antibiotics, all of which I reacted unfavorably to. There is nothing to suggest I was allergic to these aswell as the reactions were bizarre and overblown relative to the strength of medication I was taking. I was diagnosed with hyperventilation syndrome after two weeks of being swapped around on antibiotics. My stress levels were enormous.
I've never worried about my health before, but have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember, though not crippling - enough to impact my life in subtle ways. Once I was given the diagnosis I struggled to come to terms with it, but I did try. Two days later I was hit with fatigue, muscle aches and headaches. Sharp pain in my bones would come and go - I thought I must have caught the flu or something. Being so run down it seemed to be as good an explanation as any. My glands were swollen upon the doc's physical examination, blood's were taken for a second time. Inflammation was going down (I suspect inflammation in the first instance was from the kidney infection). I was sent away as there was really very little to be seen/done.
During this time I was searching desperately for an explanation. I was still getting sharp pains in my body, a long with some joint pain particularly in my fingers. I was woken up with vertigo in the middle of the night and concluded I must have developed some fast acting autoimmune condition, triggered perhaps by the allergic reaction. I was just speculating to start with, but as I researched I began to see links everywhere - I became utterly obsessed with finding out what was wrong with me. My symptoms were getting worse, and were pretty much mirrors of those I felt on the antibiotics. Internal vibration, myclonic jerks, electric shocks, strange bubble feeling in back of head, migratory joint pain, muscle aches, stabbing sensations, burning, wet feelings, nausea, morning stiffness in fingers, heart palpitations, tingling extremities, allergies, rashes, strange seizure type sensations, dizziness, itchiness, constipation/and the opposite, feels like carpal tunnel syndrome.
I've been to doctors SO MANY TIMES. I was finally referred to an infectious diseases specialist. He concluded it was likely 'Post Viral Fatigue' or something equally nebulous. My blood's were squeaky clean. The doctor's were all very reassured by this isn't a good enough explanation for me. Anxiety has often been mentioned as the cause, but again, how on earth it can cause all of this is an otherwise healthy body is beyond me.
Now, because I'm not satisfied that with this diagnosis, I've looked into a whole manner of possibilities. Lupus, Lyme Disease, Candida (this may still be a contributing factor - muchos antibiotics, remember), trying desperately to find a cohesive explanation. One that could account for my normal blood tests. I've even gone so far as to contact a naturopath, who rather unhelpfully looked over my case online and suggested it 'sounds like an inflammation response that you're not even aware of, contrary to the general medical consensus' and that 'there are probably more serious underlying causes you may not be currently aware of', then saying she didn't have time to take on my case and that I should seek help elsewhere. I just received this this morning and of course I became instantly distressed.
The hard thing is trying to think rationally when there's so much contradictory information out there. So many forums eulogize about 'being your own health detective' and that 'modern medicine usually misses this particular disease' blah blah. And because we instinctively want to know what is happening to us so we can get back to being happy and healthy, we weigh up the statements. Sometimes lacking the discernment to choose what is really worth considering - it's hard to make that distinction. Especially when your mind is already going crazy thinking "oh god, I'm too young to die". Myself, I'm incredibly single minded and obsessive. If there is something that is concerning me, I'll try everything to get to the bottom of it. By whatever means. I already self-diagnosed myself with Lyme Disease and bought a shit-load of herbal remedies. *sigh*
I really feel quite trapped by this. I want to get better, of course, but I also don't want to leave it to chance that I'm okay. We're constantly preached the importance of early recognition, and I do worry that ignoring my body in this way is only exacerbating whatever is going on. And if it is anxiety, the opposite is true.
This has been very long, I hope someone finds themselves in what I've written.
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