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Thread: My Scary Sectioning Experience

  1. #31
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Hi Stephen, just for some reassurance i take venlafaxine due to other failed ADs, infact quite a few of us do on here and a few of us have lowered our dose considerably without any side effects, its a very good AD so don't be scared if you need to swap to it, we're all rooting for you hun and proud of you x x x
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  2. #32
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Thanks again for all your wonderful messages of support. It really does fill my heart with warmth. It's beyond words what it means to me.

    Last night I was very very anxious indeed. Probably as close to having a panic attack without having one. When the nurse came in to give me my meds at 10pm she saw that I was very nervous and kindly just chatted with me for half an hour about my photography, my nursing degree and my tattoos. It was a lovely distraction and she made it very clear that if I just wanted a chat again, to press the button. She assured me it was absolutely no hassle whatsoever and it's what the button is for.

    I can't praise all the staff highly enough here. I went to fill my waterjug up earlier and the cleaning lady saw that I was shaking. She asked me if I was cold and I said that I was just a bit nervous and she came and put an arm around me and assured me there's nothing to be nervous about. Little things like that make such a big difference to an anxious mind.

    SO I took the plunge today and gobbled up 20mg Escitalopram. That's a 100% increase from the 10mg I've been taking for almost 4 months. Obviously I'm very anxious and I'm well aware of the likely hood of having a rather bumpy ride for a week or so. Just hope it's not too painful. I don't know if it's even possible for me to put up with any more anxiety but if you told me a week ago if I could survive being in a police cell for 48hours then I would of swore to you that there was no way I would ever go through anything like that.

    I haven't really socialised or been out of my room much to see the other patients. There are quite a wide range of patients in here. From what I can tell, these are some of the people I've seen:

    - First of all there is a woman in her late twenties who is VERY angry indeed. From what I can tell shes the cause of all the alarms going off. She screams and shouts and swears an awful lot and causes a one woman riot a few times a day. I'm rather worried about making eye contact with her.

    - There is a lovely short ginger haired woman who says alot of random words and often sings. Last night whilst I was having my dinner she started singing 'Lets Talk About Sex Baby' which I couldn't help but crack a smile to. I can hear her walking outside my room now saying things such as 'Breast Stroke' 'Mops' and 'Positive Thoughts'.

    - There is a transvestite in here who seems friendly. What what I can tell it's a man who is dressing like woman.

    - There is an old scruffy looking homeless man who is always very pleasant to me. He is in the room opposite me, which unfortunately can be annoying as I believe he has OCD which means when he leaves or enters his room, he has to open and shut the door up to twenty times. He does this alot.

    - The public telephone is outside my room too which brings us to our next patient. I've never seen him but I hear him on the phone alot. He makes phonecalls, I think they might not be real or to anyone. The conversation this morning he had went along of the lines of 'Hi! Do you remember the chinese woman YingYang? Well shes not here anymore! Gone! Don't know where! I'm going to buy her a Wok I think!'.

    - There is a woman who looks a bit like John Lennon. She wanders the hall ways and is very adamant that when she leaves her room, her room is to be locked. She gets very vocal and upset if this isn't done straight away. Her right hand is covered in cigarette burns which look very painful indeed.

    These are the main people I see that stand out. There are a few guys who wander around in a very heavy daze, in their late teens. They all have glazed looks on their faces. I must be the only patient in here who doesn't smoke. Everyone smells like an ashtray.

    Everyone does seem nice though and I'm sure I will talk to them soon, maybe not the angry girl as she seems to kick and punch things alot. Infact as I'm typing this sentence she has just screamed at the top of her lungs a string of rather nasty expletives that I won't be repeating on here!

    In a lot of ways, I sometimes feel as if I'm in a Borstal of some sort.

    Time to save some laptop battery life.

    I hope you all are well today. I will try and update again later on tonight as the evenings are a very bad time for me so it's good to let out my thoughts and feelings on here.

    Many thanks again for all your fantastic support and messages.

    Steven xxx
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  3. #33
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Hi Steveo, I just saw this and I'm so sorry to hear of things taking a turn for the worst. You've been such a lovely guy on NMP and I always identified with you because we had such a similar experience with our breakdowns. I hope you're feeling safe and looked after and that this is the turning point for you. Stay strong xxx
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  4. #34
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Hi Steve

    Just to say hi and to let you know that your posts are fascinating and it is really great to hear how you are getting on, I was so scared for you when I read your first post. You are getting through this difficult time with such courage. I am guessing you are not allowed earphones for the same reasons you are not yet allowed cables for the laptop? Hopefully that will change and you will be able to listen to music or whatever when the noise gets to you.

    I am sure you will meet more of your fellow patients, it is early days still. The staff seem to be really caring which I am really pleased about.

    Keep posting, we are all on your side and want to know how things are going.

    Karen x
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  5. #35
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Steve your post made me chuckle....."people watching".....That's exactly what I did for the first few days in hospital.
    Your posts are incredibly brave and touching. I remember when staff were kind to me (which was always) the first few times was so comforting and they will keep reminding you that you are ill and deserve to be handled with care.......

    sarah

  6. #36
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Steven,

    Great to hear from you. I reckon you're in exactly the right place to get the support you need. The staff sound really positive and supportive and I know you'll leave with a much better chance of getting back to where you were before all this happened.

    I echo what Nicola says about venlafaxine. If that ends up being your next step, it's nothing to be concerned about. I've come off it twice and it's nothing compared to anxiety at its worst. The main thing is to focus on getting better - you can cross the withdrawal bridge when you come to it. For me, it's given me my life back.

    I've never been in your situation so your posts are fascinating to me - it's an amazing insight into what so many people go through. Keep posting because I know a lot of us look forward to hearing from you.

    Take care

    Pip
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  7. #37
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Hi Steven,

    Sincerely hope your dosage increase goes ok and you don't suffer anymore as a result of it.

    Your people watching observations made me laugh!

    Take care xx

  8. #38
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    Mar 2007
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Thankyou all so much for the replies.

    I really do hope that as well as you being able to read about my own situation, that maybe it might give an insight into what happens at a psychiatric unit.

    It's also very therapeutic for me to have a place to let my thoughts out. The support I've had off every single person here has done more than you could imagine for my mood. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. None of us are. As the Band of Brothers Motto says, 'We Stand Alone, Together' and I believe that's very relevant for all of us here.
    We all have our own lives and our own difference experiences with depression and/anxiety as well as the many other hundreds of conditions that come under the spectrum, and probably many of us have never even met in real life, but we are all here together which I think is incredible.

    Tonight has been OK. I was very nervous at around 5pm but I think that's because I knew my friend was coming to visit me. Obviously I started the increased dose of my medication too so in the back of my mind, I'm wrongly waiting for something bad to happen. I know I shouldn't but just from past experience and common knowledge, I know that changing doses of these drugs cause small problems for a short period of time.
    If you were to give me a placebo and tell me that it's a new wonder drug and would completely eliminate my anxiety but for the first week, my anxiety and depression will be excruciating, I believe we would all feel that added anxiety. Such is the nature of our illness.

    My friends have been absolute diamonds. One of them rang me today and asked me what I need from Tescos. As good as gold he went and got me a few nibbles and a puzzle book. I also told him how badly I needed a hair cut and how hot I am as there is no air con here and my window opens barely an inch wide for obvious reasons so he kindly brought his hair clippers along.

    It's been a while since I've had my head shaved but I feel fresh and cleaner, I also feel less hot and and at the end of the day, right now, I really don't care what I look like too much, even if I do look like a bit of an egg at the moment.

    As some of you may have read, I have been spending the last few months trying to cut down on diazepam. That's been my main issue. Well that's all on hold for now and I'm giving in and taking a little bit more for the time being. There is no need for me to be suffering. I will be as sensible as possible. My main concern is getting me on an anti depressant medication at the right dose! So I took an extra 2mg this even and I feel slightly more comfortable now than I did last night. I was on the verge of having a panic attack last night. I hope this situation doesn't change!

    It's been fairly quiet on the ward this evening. I think a few patients have left and a few new ones have arrived. I do hope, in the nicest way possible, that the angry girl has left. It's very anxiety provoking to have someone screaming and kicking all the time. But I feel bad saying that because she has just as much of a right to be here as I do. She might say the same about people in here who have panic attacks. Maybe I just hope she's somewhere where she can be looked after better, or somewhere that makes me less angry.

    Going to have a shower to cool down a bit and also wash some of the hair off me. Nothing worse than a bed full of hair after a haircut. The poor cleaning ladies are going to scream when they look in my bin tomorrow. It looks like a dead rat in there. I can't believe how much hair I had!

    I know that I have a lovely nurse on again tonight. She was the lady who chatted to me for half an hour last night when I was close to having a panic attack. She was very good at distracting me with talking about my photography job or my nursing degree and she made it VERY clear than any problems WHAT SO EVER, I am to ring the buzzer and she will come in for another chat, whatever time of night it is. That made me feel really good.

    Unfortunately I have to have my laptop charger PAT tested which means I won't have it for 3 days. It's bad enough that I have to charge my laptop in the nurses office but now I won't have it at all for a while so I will try my best to preserve battery life. I will try to update using my phone which is fairly good at getting the internet and browsing web pages. I just hope they don't notice my phone charger and get that PAT tested too!! This week of all weeks I need all the distraction I can get. The hot weather isn't going to help. What a typical brit I am. I spent the entire winter moaning about how cold it is and how I can't wait for summer. Summer is here and I want the weather cooler!

    Again, many many thanks for everyone who takes the time to read my story and experiences. I hope that some of you find it interesting. Prehaps if any of you have any questions about anything, then I will be more than happy to answer them. This experience is very new to me and I didn't know what to expect. Maybe some of you might consider hospitalisation in the future and be curious about some aspects of it.

    I hope you all are well.

    Steven xxxx
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  9. #39
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    Jul 2008
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    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Hi Steven I'm sorry about the admission and your hospital section.it does sound like you are in the right place and getting the help that you so badly needed. Don't try to run before you can walk. I have been an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital (well a few actually) so I hope they are treating you well. Try not to worry about the other patients. EJ
    Last edited by ElizabethJane; 09-07-13 at 21:53.

  10. #40

    Re: My Scary Sectioning Experience

    Steven,

    You're absolutely right, your posts are a real insight into what happens in a psychiatric hospital. I know to me they have always seemed like scary places where everyone is treated the same, regardless of their individual needs. Visions of the film "12 Monkeys" spring to mind, if anyone has seen that!

    So it's wonderful to hear that although your experience started off a little scary, you're being loked after and the staff are caring and supportive. Im sure that all of us who are struggling with mental health issues will find it comforting to know that should we ever need the extra support of a psychiatric hospital, that we will be cared for and treated with respect. Not stuck in a straight jacket and given a lobotomy like it's still the 1950's!

    Wishing you a steady recovery. We're all rooting for you fella!

    B

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