Can't focus on anything important

[aangel]

My listening skills are dwindling. My depression has gotten worse. I've been noticing lately that it's getting harder and harder to focus on important things. For example, (I feel so silly mentioning this) there's a show I like that's in danger of getting canceled and I feel so stressed about it to an irrational degree. TV has never stressed me out this much before. I mean I really enjoy the show, for an hour it gave me a break from the awful intrusive thoughts and lifted my mood. I keep telling myself there more important things that need my attention. That I need to get my priorities in order. But when I think about all the other stuff going aside for my own mental health issues like money problems, feeling too anxious to get a job, and my mother's health issues it all feels like it's too much to deal with. I feel so stressed about those things that it makes me feel like I'm drowning. I don't how to cope or fix anything. I feel stuck. I went to see a psychiatrist last week to get diagnosed with OCD but the appointment left discouraged and I don't want to see her again. I wanted some hope some encouragement. Basically, she said in so many words that meds don't work, OCD can't be cured, and that I could get talk therapy. I don't think she had good bedside manner. I left that appointment so upset and fearful.

Honestly, I don't know what to do next. I was really hoping that by going to the appointment after avoiding it for years I'd be taking the first small step towards getting better. Is my brain intent on worrying about trivial things because I can't deal with the big stuff? It's like I always have to be worried about something. I hate that. I feel frustrated with myself for caring about insignificant things. I feel like a crazy person and even small disappointments hurt so much.

[buggsby]

Don't feel silly at all for being upset over a TV show. I remember I used to watch Supernatural and I would be rocking back and forth just SCREAMING at the TV when something thrilling and/or stressful happened, and then when the season finales would come around I'd get together with my friends and we'd just squawk like birds about THIS IS HAPPENING OR THAT GUY IS DYING??? OMG???

Tv is meant to entertain and it grips our emotions very strongly sometimes. That's perfectly okay. And it makes sense that a show you felt strongly about, and that helped you cope with your negative thoughts, would cause you a lot of distress at being cancelled! So please don't feel silly for being upset about that, believe me I've been there.

As for the therapist, find another one. If you're going to an outpatient program you can get in touch with the receptionists and request a different therapist, or look for another that accepts your insurance. I learned the hard way not to stay with a medical professional that makes me feel worse. You have every right to find someone that works with you and for you, not just tell you that certain mental illnesses can never be cured and that meds don't work. That's just untrue.

There is hope for change! I think you ARE taking a great first step in trying to reach out. Please don't let this therapist discourage you so much that you don't try again. Talk therapy might help in conjunction with medication or it might help all on it's own. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a wonderful tool for helping negative, unproductive thought patterns that you can't seem to break free of. But a therapist shouldn't be pushing an agenda that one or the other just "don't work".