Hello all, this may be a long post and I will try to be as brief as possible.
I have suffered OCD since before I started school aged 4. Since the age of about 8 it has manifested and troubled me mainly in thoughts (I don't use the term 'Pure O' as I still have compulsions.). I was eventually diagnosed in early 2000 as that was when I first sought help. Been on venlafaxine pretty-much ever since, 150mg since 2004.
If I think how things will pan out regarding a given situation I have to 'feel' as though I will feel if that situation happens. Because I have also suffered from GAD from a young age.
The worry also provides content for the OCD: things I worry about, I have to think through and through, in order, with the right words and feel 'right' at every stage and until I feel that the feared event won't happen.
Self-medication of these issues in addition led to alcoholism. I haven't drank for nearly 5 years.
About a year after quitting anxiety and worry led me to breakdown, about 3.5 years ago.
At this time a psychiatrist prescribed Prozac and took me off venlafaxine. This was a mistake as the times I tried to come off it previously (with no replacement), my worry, anxiety levels and OCD went through the roof. They did again. She put me back on venlafaxine and quetiapine 150mg.
Since then then the worry has been constant. In addition I suffered the loss of my mother unexpectedly in late 2014 and my grandfather in early 2015. I have guilt issues about their deaths, particularly Grandad's (I will elaborate if needed).
I seemed to be improving slightly but since Summer 2016 I have been nearly as bad as when I come off the venlafaxine 3.5 years ago.
I started seeing a psychologist to deal with my issues but she said that I was not in a fit state for therapy and I needed to review my medications. (I am not sure she was any use anyway, to be honest, her approach seemed to be to tell me there should be no guilt and to use thought stopping.)
My psychiatrist upped the quetiapine to 200mg a day in late 2016 to go up to 300mg.
I have upped to 200mg and that feeling of impending doom is still here. All they are doing is making me exhausted and completely devoid of motivation and unable to do the self-help reading I need to do to have any chance of getting better. So I am reluctant to go up to 300mg, as I doubt I would be able to work on them, the morning drowsiness would be that bad.
So what I ask is this:
1. Which medication(s) would help me to get rid of that feeling that everything will go wrong, that fear and dread? If any? And waking up with my mind immediately trying to remember what I was worrying about or 'OCDing' about before I went to sleep and then 're-opening' the worry and/or OCD?
2. Which would help with motivation (whether that is currently low due to hopelessness and/or quetiapine)?
3. Which would/could do the above with minimal tiredness/drowsiness?
4. Have you ever come of venlafaxine to try these medications, and did you fare okay?
I am asking because I think I need to go back to the psychiatrist but want to be able to suggest a few things from people who have walked this path a little.
Thanks for reading.