I've just had my partner leave me after five years. She could take no more of my closing up. I was in a previous abusive relationship. And this has just ruined me. I feel anxious and when the slightest thing goes wrong I sink into an all time low.
My partner has stood by me for so long and it's not always been like this.

After an illness at Xmas and moving of house, a few clashes with my parents and my bank card getting compromised I was at the brink of breakdown. Thing is only then I realised there is something wrong with me.

I used to make excuses not to go out. When I had to go out with my partner I had to have a few drinks to relax and when I was on my game we were the best together. Unfortunately round the corner I would then sink and then withdraw and have very little interaction with her. She finally gave up and after that I've realised I need help.

I went to my gp and all the stuff inside just poured out. I've been put on AD's and feel a lot better by really miss my partner who after confessing she was so unhappy said that I no longer contact her.

I tried to explain I have went for help but have had no response. I wish her happiness and only wish I could bring more happiness to her.
I called twice and wrote a letter.
I know I have to leave her now and get myself back to the old me and try and move on.

I just wish I realised sooner. I will be forever grateful for all the stuff she has put up with.
She was an absolute angel. I just couldn't get my feelings out there unless relaxed.