Anxiety ruining a lifelong dream trip

[DirkGaston]

Hello to all of you. Im new to this. My name is Dirk and Im from Ibiza, Spain. I felt like writing here because im tired of worrying everyone back at home with my problems and I think relying too much on "comfort people" for solace is probably unhealthy. So basically I have dreamt with travelling to the USA my entire life. I have been suffering from anxiety for years now. Basically I get a tight chest pain when im very nervous but it has never been a constant thing. It has been very on and off and I started getting it again a month before leaving Spain. I also fear very open spaces and things like giant buildings. Back to the point, I hate flying and I have never done it for more than two hours at a time. Now I was facing a thirteen hour flight. I pulled through and survived it although feeling uneasy but not anxious or panicky. We got to Los Angeles and I thought I had jet lag under control. The day after, having barely slept or eaten we started our road trip and anxiety was starting to hit me on the road: Becoming fidgety, tight chest, random pains here and there (I had a full checkout a month ago that said I am perfectly healthy). My doctor prescribed me 0.5 Alprazolam twice a day, which does somehow help but Im guessing that tolerance makes the effect gradually weaker. Now its the third day and we are in Vegas and I feel terribly uncomfortable, tight chest again when driving through the Strip and I see all these normal people smiling and enjoying themselves and I cant help but feeling really stressed out. I am back at the hotel and I feel better but I have a twenty day trip ahead of me and I was wondering if anyone got through something like this. I read that jet lag may be exacerbating my anxiety symptoms and a lot of people are telling me to give it a few days and I will be ok. That it might also be overwhelming being my first huge trip. I just dont want to have to tell my friend to go to the Strip by himself and me stay here in the hotel and wrapped in my little comfort zone. I felt like this trip was a chance to fight all this but now at times it just seems so much bigger than me.

Thank you all for listening/reading

[up a ladder]

Hi Dirk. Well done completing the flight. I have a similar trip planned and although it is 6 months away, I feel worried about it already.
As for Jet lag, it can make things worse by quite a margin. I went to Canada a few years ago and it took 3 days for things to settle down.
Also, I would think the distractions will become more interesting and frequent, so I would really expect things to improve. Keep reminding yourself how well you did getting there on the plane.
Give it another day or two. If things get worse, you can find another hotel. I suspect that things will improve regardless when the lag has gone completely.

[DirkGaston]

I hope that' what it is. Also the enormous buildings made me feel uncomfortable and the thought of visiting the Strip again makes me feel chest tightness agsin. Whats terrible is I do want to go so this internal conflict is becoming a real issue and I dont want to spend the rest of my trip like this. I want to be able to be excited and enjoy it to the fullest, being a lifelong dream of mine...

[Lucinda07]

Dirk, you have done incredibly well taking a 13 hour flight despite hating flying!
It takes a good 4-5 days to overcome jet lag & time difference; your body/mind is still recovering.
You have tightness in your chest, but are keen to see the sights. Perhaps these words of wisdom will help alleviate the stress. Anxiety cannot exist without you &, no matter how overwhelming, you are stronger than it. Don't struggle against the emotions - just let them come & go. Try some breathing exercises & keep off the caffeine.
You're doing really well & much braver than me!

[DirkGaston]

Thanks for those words of wisdom. They do provide some comfort. Its just all so overwhelming. For instance I just said this morning DAMN THIS I AM STRONGER and I just hopped on an Uber and realized the buildings and crowd didnt scare me as much as I thought and I even felt relief and had fun. On the way back to the hotel, which is supposed to be the closest thing I have here to a comfort zone, tightness was back with a bang and elevated heart rate which then translates into worry over having a heart attack soon, etc...

[Fear-Not]

Think you should be very proud of yourself. It is terrifying to try and ignore anxiety and do stuff anyway but one you are back from your trip you will see this as the great step that it has been - and then next time will be easier!! I am going on holiday in three weeks time and I am SICK with nerves - honestly - you would think it was a death sentence rather than a nice week in the sun!!