So much better. But need advice

[Bigboyuk]

yes and he was fine about it, it just really shocked me!!

---------- Post added at 19:19 ---------- Previous post was at 19:16 ----------

and that created thoughts such as
1. what if I'm gay
2. how would i tell everyone if i was

it was a stupid trigger that really shocked me

Why did it shock you because you didn't think he either looked gay or you couldn't believe he was gay for what ever reason?

[Ljthompson10]

but i don't want to be!!!

surely I'm not

I wanna like girl forever

---------- Post added at 20:00 ---------- Previous post was at 19:59 ----------

but I'm having stupid doubts
I've always liked girls!!!

---------- Post added at 20:06 ---------- Previous post was at 20:00 ----------

Why did it shock you because you didn't think he either looked gay or you couldn't believe he was gay for what ever reason?

I have never been told by a guy I'm attractive!!
he said he wasn't even gay just said I'm an attractive lad
it scared me i went all faint

i have always watched l*sbian po*n surely this makes me not gay

its my worst fear honestly!!!

[brucealmighty]

difficult to say. you sound frightened of even considering being gay but I`d just see how life turns out and not set yourself up for a fall.
if someone thinks you`re attractive then happy days. certain people are. I`m as heterosexual as a bear, or chuck norris holding a bow and arrow, but I`d say David beckham for example is a very nice looking bloke. I don`t want to take him bowling and do anything indecent with him but he is undeniably a well put together human.

don`t worry too much on it just accept the compliment from your mate. no harm done.

[Ljthompson10]

difficult to say. you sound frightened of even considering being gay but I`d just see how life turns out and not set yourself up for a fall.
if someone thinks you`re attractive then happy days. certain people are. I`m as heterosexual as a bear, or chuck norris holding a bow and arrow, but I`d say David beckham for example is a very nice looking bloke. I don`t want to take him bowling and do anything indecent with him but he is undeniably a well put together human.

don`t worry too much on it just accept the compliment from your mate. no harm done.

ok mate, I've always been as hetrosexual as a bear but I'm terrified of being gay, every time i talk to this girl the doubt are blocking out how much i like her.

I've never ever been attracted to a man

---------- Post added at 20:23 ---------- Previous post was at 20:18 ----------

I love women its got to be deffo hocd

[brucealmighty]

me neither. I don`t know about OCD but I`m sure all manner of people have allsorts of fleeting thoughts but try to see is as a meditation where you see a thought and let it pass don`t cling onto it.
if you like this girl just get used to talking to her rather than worrying about an end result or proving yourself in some way, try to enjoy each day and don`t worry what other people think either on here or in real life.

keep smiling and hope things calm down for you

[Ljthompson10]

ok mate.

I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm not gay and am going to stop fighting the thoughts...

do i not sound as if I'm gay

[MyNameIsTerry]

Look at the facts though, you don't find men attractive so how can you be gay or bisexual? Regardless of any worry someone who is as compared to you, they are having feelings of attraction. They are concerned about being gay, you are worried about whether you could become gay.

Intrusive thoughts look for our weak spots, you come across as seeing being gay as wrong for you (not that it is wrong, just wrong for you) so react strongly. That's exactly why they target such a moral aspect of your character. That's exactly how these thoughts work with POCD in a parent or harm based OCD in a law abiding person.

A person fighting with themselves over what they feel they are inside is totally different to someone fighting what they fear they may turn into yet have never displayed any element of it before.

---------- Post added at 23:59 ---------- Previous post was at 23:56 ----------

ok mate.

I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm not gay and am going to stop fighting the thoughts...

do i not sound as if I'm gay

It doesn't matter what we think, it matters what you think. We can only point out the flaws in your logic, the bias and explain how intrusive thoughts work. When you say you are working on it and end a post with "are you guys sure?", that's just a reassurance hook. Be aware of that and remove it in favour of the work you are doing otherwise it will keep it all going.

[Bigboyuk]

but i don't want to be!!!

surely I'm not

I wanna like girl forever

---------- Post added at 20:00 ---------- Previous post was at 19:59 ----------

but I'm having stupid doubts
I've always liked girls!!!

---------- Post added at 20:06 ---------- Previous post was at 20:00 ----------




I have never been told by a guy I'm attractive!!
he said he wasn't even gay just said I'm an attractive lad
it scared me i went all faint

i have always watched l*sbian po*n surely this makes me not gay

its my worst fear honestly!!!

The main last paragraph says I have never been xzy by a guy but he said I was a xyz lad so very similar don't you think and was probably paying you a compliment

[Ljthompson10]

yeah ahahahah

[MyNameIsTerry]

You are still young so still learning. Despite the whole "gadar" stuff, it's only perception and we will make many mistakes in pre judging people so don't allow any of that to open up the self questioning either.

You are going to get many strange thoughts in your life and find yourself wondering what others are thinking about you.