Second time citalopram

[Annifrid]

Hi all,

I've just signed up to this forum for a little comfort and help. I'm from Holland and 51 years old.
(Anymore Dutch people here? )

Since 7 weeks I'm at Citalopram 20 mg.
I got it described(GP) because of a burnout and anxiety attacks.
All of a sudden, in the middle of the night, I got this loud ringing in my ears. Also very much ear pressure. I thought I was going crazy.
My work has been very stressful these last few months and my body just said STOP, 2 months ago.
So I am at home and trying to calm down. In the beginning I only took Oxazepam.
But that didn't do much to the anxiety. So after 2 weeks I went back to the doctors and he prescribed me the Cita.
I've been on them before, about 6 years ago, for 4 years, before tapering myself off. That was really tough.
I felt good and happy with my life. But, without me noticing it, I slowly got more nervous and anxious.
So here I am, back at square one.
And I feel very guilty and bad about having to be on them again. That I"m not strong enough to cope with life's difficulties.

I also suffer from very bad muscle aches in legs, arms and shoulders.
Th worst side affects seem to have subsided, but I'm still not there.
Anxiety has calmed down, but my ears can still feel pressured, especially when I have to do stressful things I guess.
Like tomorrow I have to go to work to drink coffee.
(In Holland we have a reintegration traject for people with burnout. You stay at home for some time, it may take months, and then try to go back on your own pace with the help of your company and a company doctor.)
The plan is to start work slowly, in januari, with 2-3 hours per week.

But I' feeling kinda stressed out, nervous of going back to work.
Can I cope again? I do not feel strong enough yet, but there is this pressure I feel, to get back asap. (Because I have also heard that my company will lay off 60 people in 2018/2019) So I'm worried they will fire me, because of my burnout.
They will think I am not a coping person.

Also my GP has gotten me to do psychotherapy.
Long story short;
I'm 7 weeks on 20mg; I gradually feel better, but still not strong enough.
Will I ever get better? I can't remember this from the first time.

Sorry for my long post.
I hope you are all doing well!

[Mummytofour]

Hi, sorry to her what you are going through but you have come to a good place for support.

Its probably easier said than done but you need to put your health first and if you don't feel ready to go back to work then maybe take a little bit more time. Maybe you could even speak with them and say that you really want to get back to work but you want to make sure your 100% first. I was going to go back to work this week but decided to wait a little longer as I know I am just not ready yet and if I push myself I may take a step back in getting better.

As with getting better if you feel that maybe you have got a bit better but have stopped improving then maybe you need an increase in the cit. Have you spoken to your doctor about how your feeling?. You may just need a little longer to get the full benefits also as it can take a a while for some to get the full effects x

[lior]

Ah poor you. Well done for taking this step to come on NMP.

It's great you're getting psychotherapy, and that there is support for work for you. I don't know about Holland, but I think it's illegal to fire someone because of mental health issues in the UK. It's worth looking up the legalities to put your mind at rest.

I'm on citalopram for the second time, too. The first time I was on 40mg at the highest. The second time, 40mg was too much, and 30mg helped the most. Apparently, just because it worked for you once in one way doesn't mean it will be the same the next time round.

Good luck

[Annifrid]

Thank you for you kind words lior and Mummytofour.
Great the support on this forum

This afternoon I have an appointment at work for a cup of coffee.
Pretty nervous about it.
I guess I will stick with the 20mg, because 7 weeks might just not been long enough to fully work..
Also my psychotherapy is being monitored by a psychiatrist so he/she will let me know, I guess, if I should up my dose or not.
If, after 10 weeks, I still feel the same, I might ask for it myself.

Take care today.

[Mummytofour]

Good luck this afternoon, I am sure you will be fine. Just think of it as another step to recovery. I am always forcing myself to do things and then I feel better after as I can say 'I did it'. X

[vallance_simon]

Sorry to jump on the band wagon, but I too am back on Citalopram. I was on 20mg for over a year and was feeling good so reduced the dose to 10mg. After a couple of months my anxiety came flooding back so I have gone back up to 20mg. 8 Weeks in and I am still feeling anxious. I seem to remember it taking 3 months to get on track the first time around, but has anyone found that Cit works just as well the second time? I am worried....

[Annifrid]

Hi vallance,

I have started my 12th week on 20 mg, last friday.
Starting work tomorrow for 2 hours, as well on thursday.
Very nervous about it. Worried that I havent recovered enough from my burnout.
Anxiety has calmed down but I still feel sad and have muscle aches in my legs.
The cit has done it's job for my anxiety, but I still have a low mood and worry about the future. I still think I will never recover and feel very sad and helpless that I am on these pills again. Still can't accept it.

I take the cit at 6 in the evening and a few hours after that, I start to sweat and still feel funny/strange in my head and body.Like electricity through my vains and muscles.
Also the menopause is doing it's thing...
So I sometimes don't know what symptoms are related to anxiety, burnout or menopause.
We also had my father in law pass away on the 29th of december, so it has been hectic and emotional too.

Worst thing I think, is that I cannot accept that I'm on these drugs and cannot participate with life like everybody else can...
I know acceptance is the key, but I feel like a loser, Im sorry. I don't think anyone else on these pills are losers! I just feel like one, myself.
So vallance, I can't tell you if I'm worse second time around because there are so many other things going on in my life, right now.
I refuse to up my dose...I shall not go there. I'd rather throw them in the bin.
Take care and try to hang on..I know it's hard.

[Mummytofour]

Hi vallance Simon,

I started back on citalopram for the second time, think it was end sept time. If you have a look at my threads you will see my journey this time round. I have updated the thread called 'just want to scream and cry' several times throughout the last couple of months documenting how things have been going if you wanted to see how things have gone. I started on 10mg for a week then 20mg for around 5 weeks ish now on 30mg and doing a lot better. Still not completely better but well on my way x