Really really struggling 😢😞😞😞

[Twirlywoo]

I've had days where I have felt fine. Well almost fine. To the point where I am feeling it's lifting somewhat.
But last night I was drifting off when I heard what I thought was my fiancé brushing his teeth, he was lay next to me in bed 😢😢😢
This has triggered my schizophrenia anxiety ten fold again today.
I'm waiting to hallucinate or hear something. Shadows are making me look twice, sounds are making me interpret things differently.
I feel like I have literally gone back to how I was when it started weeks ago.
How can I go from feeling good and okay to completely feeling out of control all on a split moment of panic?

This is just so upsetting and scary.

I don't know what else to do. I'm in such a panic I think I will have to take some of my 2mg diazepam. I've tried so hard not to take them but I feel so on edge I can't settle or rest, I'm constantly checking my surroundings 😞😩😩😩

[Dave1]

There's an explanation here:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=169799

They call it 'hypnogogic'. Once or twice when waking I thought I heard someone say my name but I never knew till now I was having a hypnogogic hallucination.

Edit: I've also noticed something else recently - I'm on Paroxetine which affects how I sleep and occasionally I notice my dream starts just before I fall sleep! It doesn't worry me though.

Another Edit: I just read Gerrard's post about fear of schizophrenia where he says he thinks it's fear of losing control, and you used the similar phrase 'completely out of control' describing your feelings of panic. I wonder if there's some kind of connection there?

[Twirlywoo]

There's an explanation here:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=169799

They call it 'hypnogogic'. Once or twice when waking I thought I heard someone say my name but I never knew till now I was having a hypnogogic hallucination.

Edit: I've also noticed something else recently - I'm on Paroxetine which affects how I sleep and occasionally I notice my dream starts just before I fall sleep! It doesn't worry me though.

Another Edit: I just read Gerrard's post about fear of schizophrenia where he says he thinks it's fear of losing control, and you used the similar phrase 'completely out of control' describing your feelings of panic. I wonder if there's some kind of connection there?

Thank you for your reply.
I've read the hypnogognic post and to be honest I didn't feel like I was asleep I was like half and half, it was literally just before I fell to sleep is that still classed as one??

Also what do you mean by a connection there??

[Dave1]

I think the post IS talking about half and half.
And I was wondering if fear of schizophrenia is really a fear of losing control? Because you and the other poster both mentioned losing control. I thought that might be the more general fear that manifests in the conscious mind as fear of schizophrenia.

[Gerardooooo]

Thank you for your reply.
I've read the hypnogognic post and to be honest I didn't feel like I was asleep I was like half and half, it was literally just before I fell to sleep is that still classed as one??

Also what do you mean by a connection there??

Have you gotten any better ?

[SLA]

Thank you for your reply.
I've read the hypnogognic post and to be honest I didn't feel like I was asleep I was like half and half, it was literally just before I fell to sleep is that still classed as one??

Also what do you mean by a connection there??

Yes, what you describe is exactly a hypnogogic.

[Twirlywoo]

Have you gotten any better ?

I won't lie and say yes as I'm not better no, but what I can say is that I no longer believe I have schizophrenia, from when I first started with schizophrenia fears I HAVENT GOT ANY WORSE! I haven't started seeing or hearing things, I just have heightened sense's, so yes I think I see something out the corner of my eye and yes it makes me abit anxious but I haven't seen nothing at all. Yes I think I hear things but because I'm on super hyper aware I will hear a lot more then say my partner does. It's just my brain interprets it a little different because I'm waiting for something to happen.
I do still feel at times like I could loose myself in such panic but I must say it's gotten easy as the days are going on.
I started cbt last Friday and I was doing well, unfortunately I've had a little blip and not feeling as great as I was but the thing that gives me hope is I DID FEEL BETTER. So I need to hold onto the thought that if I had schizophrenia I wouldn't have been able to identify the difference's.

Sorry for the long post x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thank you for your reply.
I've read the hypnogognic post and to be honest I didn't feel like I was asleep I was like half and half, it was literally just before I fell to sleep is that still classed as one??

Also what do you mean by a connection there??

It's not about being asleep, it's about entering a sleep stage between awake and asleep. During that time the mind works quite differently to when awake.

So, drifting off or waking but not fully would fall into Hypnagogia & Hypnopompia.

[Twirlywoo]

It's not about being asleep, it's about entering a sleep stage between awake and asleep. During that time the mind works quite differently to when awake.

So, drifting off or waking but not fully would fall into Hypnagogia & Hypnopompia.

Thank you for your reply.
After experiencing and reading the replies on here I had a good read about hypnagogic hallucinations and I agree it fitted exactly to what happened to me. I haven't had this again since.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's a good one to read about, so I'm glad you did. I've seen loads of threads about them but people didn't know what they were and they naturally feed anxiety as there are strange things to experience.

Often they are brain tumour or schizophrenia threads. Typical worries when it comes to hallucination issues. Knowing about these sleep stages helps rationalise it. It's very easy to assume the worst with strange symptoms, it's amazing how complex all this is!

I'm glad you've not had anymore.