So much better. But need advice

[nomorepanic]

I am getting really bored and totally fed up of this now and people constantly reporting posts and having a go at each other and sending me messages telling me who I should be banning etc etc.

You are all adults and should be capable of sorting it out.

I have my own issues right now and not in the mood to deal with this so fight it out between yourselves and then kiss and make-up please.

Thank You

[nomorepanic]

and just for the record if I feel that someone is replying to a post just to have a dig or make a sarcastic comment I will start removing those comments and banning that member from the thread.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Fair enough, Nic, I'm sorry to hear you have your own problems to deal with right now and my part in this thread. I support what you say, I think it has been needed for some time.

Back to the only 2 replies that were intended to help:

This ones quite interesting because although I haven't had the attraction issue I have had a similar one with gender, and romantic attraction, when someone said I was probably transgender I instantly thought there was no chance I was(are they high!?) but overtime I realized I actually was and believing that I wasn't was just my anxiety, same with me discovering I'm asexual. I haven't 100% worked out how I became clear about it but I guess you get to a point where you convince yourself enough that you start to believe it. after thinking about it long and hard I realised I would never have sex and if I did it wouldn't be for my own pleasure, which is when I accepted that I was asexual.
my beat advice is to just try and convince yourself you're not gay, I know for a fact you're not especially after reading this, I can tell you really like this woman and somewhere inside you know you do and you know that's you. you just need to challenge your intrusive thoughts and drown them out, tell yourself you are who you are. even if you did end up being someone who liked the same sex too(which is like 1-100) you would probably be bisexual which doesn't change anything, tell yourself you like this girl and if that thought tries to come in just flick a rubber band of your wrist everytime it does(it tends to work for me quite well x)

hi!
I've also dealt with Homosexual OCD and Relationship OCD and it is really just a part of same OCD. Treat it the same was as normal thoughts. OCD acts onto your deepest fears and tries to ruin everything you love and makes you doubt things.

---------- Post added at 05:06 ---------- Previous post was at 04:51 ----------

Lj,

Intrusive thoughts are just unpleasant thoughts to us that by definition are "ego dystonic", therefore the opposite of true character & beliefs at a deeper level, but we've learned to fear them for some reason which is why they are now intrusive.

So, straight away you can build a challenge from the fact medical information that is accepted worldwide says they are the opposite and that's why they are bothering us.

The trick is learning to not be bothered. When you give them no importance, your subconscious so start to learn they aren't relevant to the conscious mind and they get mothballed.

But anxiety is sneaky. For some people they see one fear go and another pop up. They then enter this cycle again and treat as a separate occurrence. Like Viking111 said, they shift but the only thing to remember here are the rules - intrusive thoughts are intrusive thoughts, therefore you tackle them the same way. Some of the details change, the impacts can differ between some themes, etc but ultimately they are constructed in the same manner.

Despite all these terms sufferers have e.g. Pure O, HOCD, ROCD, POCD, Schiz OCD, etc they aren't mentioned in the true diagnostic names for OCD by WHO. They know that a sufferer can experience one main theme or many. They tailor treatment but fundamentally it will be the same for any theme.

You may find you get them more when under stress. Many of us have said that. Therefore another thing to work on is reducing stress on us and learning to spot increased periods of stress to accept we may experience more frequent or intense intrusive thoughts.

[pulisa]

Terry, I was commenting on the irony of the OP advising everyone to only post helpful and supportive comments on his thread. In view of his ..ahem...past posting history I thought that was a bit "cheeky"..

However, as you say it is pointless to comment further.

[Bigboyuk]

But I heard that a homosexual would fear about telling people they are and I have feared that if i was then i would have to tell everyone and that scares me.

Its annoying because I had these thoughts before at about 12 and never thought of them since, and then when that boy messaged me saying he fancied me I became very anxious and distressed. I just wish it never happened you know.

Hmmm Ok I guess some would 'fear' 'coming' out to their friends/family etc obviously something that personal you wouldn't be shouting it from the roof tops lol and it would really get to them others it wouldn't bother them Sorry lost me a bit then when that boy messaged you etc on here/holiday?? You got distressed , when was this?
So IMHO don't worry ok

[CAPRI2139]

Hi everyone.

Can I just say how much this forum has helped me. Over Xmas I haven't even thought about going on a forum and have lived life to the max. I have let my intrusive thoughts be and eventually then do loose meaning. It's incredible. I can't tell you how much better I am. I have just been to Marbella for a week and loved every minute.

Anyway. Yesterday, someone who I've met once said they were attracted to me (a boy) and all these thoughts and doubts cane into my head (what if I'm gay etc) and quite francally ive had these thoughts before (years ago) and they just seemed to fade out. But they are sticking with me. I met a girl in Marbella and she's gorgeous - I'm now speaking to her a lot and I really like her. I have always been into girls. Can't even watch p*rn with men in it. However these doubts are frustrating me and the thoughts will come into my head when I speak to this girl and I'm constantly doubting myself. Can I have advice on how to just get rid of them. I can't be gay. Trust me.

I've dealt with thoughts for a long time and have learnt to deal with them a lot better thanks to people on here and have had a fantastic Xmas. But these thoughts are different and are really disturbing. And advice would be great. I can't lose this girl over shitty thoughts!!

Thankyou xx

---------- Post added at 20:38 ---------- Previous post was at 19:38 ----------

Please someone give advice

---------- Post added at 21:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:38 ----------

please reply someone :(

I dont think so you are gay..you only appreciate that guy.
but you definitely love the girl..
so your not..

[Ljthompson10]

I dont think so you are gay..you only appreciate that guy.
but you definitely love the girl..
so your not..

That makes no sense, The boy creeped me out!!!!

[Bigboyuk]

That makes no sense, The boy creeped me out!!!!

Was he trying to get in to your head I presume? Have you now told him you aren't gay?

[Ljthompson10]

yes and he was fine about it, it just really shocked me!!

---------- Post added at 19:19 ---------- Previous post was at 19:16 ----------

and that created thoughts such as
1. what if I'm gay
2. how would i tell everyone if i was

it was a stupid trigger that really shocked me

[brucealmighty]

these days it doesn't matter if you're gay so try not to have it as a huge fear. it's no one's business anyway. at 16 you're still trying to establish your role in life and your head will be doing 100mph.
ease up on yourself and see how you feel. I don't know if you're gay but it wouldn't trouble me or anyone else on here if you were it honestly doesn't matter.