Yesterday night I was watching tv, and suddenly I remembered something from my childhood.
My friend and I (both females) played 'mommy and daddy', and I remember doing some sexual movement on her, like dry humping or something. We were both about 6-8 years old then.
I also remember her sometimes wanting to do something else and saying, well we'll play this for a little bit, and then we'll play your thing. I'll give you a toy if we do it!
And that sounds so ****ed up.. It did happen, so it's not something I fear might happen.
The thoughts that I have now are more like 'what if I can't live with that memory and finally decide to commit suicide?' (because I'm so afraid of death)